Hello peeps! I'm starting a post with excerpts from my 2013
NaNoWriMo story,
Night Shift. It's a current-day supernatural good-vs-evil story centering on Devorah
Moore, who's been recruited by Kazimir Barsukov to help restore the
balance between the powers of Light and Dark. Kaz is a Crosser--a human
who became a demon and now works from the inside, with the help of
angels, to weaken the Dark. Devorah's father, the local police chief, was murdered but the case is unsolved. Kaz believes demons were responsible. If she joins the Crossers, he promises to help her get answers.
Because I'm enjoying the whole discovery thing with my
NaNo story, I'm going to post from that this week. I'll get back to
Street Glass. In this excerpt from my story
Night Shift,
the female main character (Devorah) is talking to the angel Adrael;
Devorah speaks first. And that's all I'll tell you right now :D :D
“What do you want me to do?”
“The assistance I need is from my peers. You may want to allow us some
space.”
“Oh -- oh.” I scurried across
the hall to stand by the stairway. Great. I had a half-dead half-demon on my floor,
and my entryway was about to be filled with angels trying to save him. I was
willing to bet Dan Brown hadn’t done this kind of research.
Hi peeps :-D This week I’m
continuing with my
NaNo story
Night Shift. This scene takes place
early in the story. The heroine, Devorah (who is also the POV character)
is about to meet an angel for the first time. Kazimir is
another main character, kind of an anti-hero type. Kaz has recited a
short
prayer, after which the air shimmers and a figure appears with flowing
hair and
wearing a long robe. The angel speaks first.
"Kazimir, it's good to see you." The voice didn't sound male
or female though the face looked more male. "Devorah, I'm often known as Ashavan,
though humans in your era seem to prefer the name Adrael; you may call me that
if you prefer. What questions may I answer for you?"
What do you ask somebody who appears out of thin air and looks like he
fell off a Christmas card?
"Ash, you're too fancy for her, tone yourself down,” Kazimir said.
"Oh, please forgive me, I thought you might be more comfortable
with familiar imagery." The air shimmered again and the long robe changed
to sweat pants and plain t-shirt, both in sky blue. His hair changed to
something shorter; he reminded me a bit of Liam Neeson now.
So much for thinking The Twilight Zone was fiction.
Pulling again from my
NaNoWriMo story,
Night Shift. The male main
character, Kazimir, is explaining to the female main character, (and POV
character) Devorah, and the angel Adrael what his plan is—to trap the demon
Thaumiel. This is still pretty early in the story. When Adrael asks Kazimir why
he wants to involve Devorah in something so dangerous, Kazimir replies that
Thaumiel was the one who ordered Devorah’s father to be murdered. Kaz is the
first speaker.
“Dev’s been pretty active and outspoken herself so if he thinks she’s
continuing her father’s efforts, he’ll be itching to get her too.”
Adrael’s eyes narrowed and his whole form wavered faintly, like fog
moving on water.
Kazimir set both fists on his hips and glared back; I shivered.
“Are you saying what I think you are?” said a voice that sounded like mine
but from far away.
Kazimir’s eyes bounced from the angel to me and back. He rubbed his
hands together slowly and approached me one step at a time; I backed up.
“Dear Devorah, if Thaumiel considers you a prize worth having, he’ll
come after you. My friends and I will be there to protect you, all you have to
do is show up at a certain place and time. You’d be the proverbial carrot on a
stick, always out of reach.”
Skipping ahead from the last excerpt, Kaz has asked Devorah to join
the Crossers, giving some info about what she'd be expected to do as a
demon. He's emphasized that being a Crosser means walking a thin line
every day. Here, she gives her answer. Her father was the local police
chief who was shot and killed.
"You're asking me to do something pretty
impossible, but you know what finally decided me? My brother said he's
taking the police entrance exam. One of these days he could be shot dead
too--our mother would lose her only son, I'd lose my only brother, and
his wife would be a widow."
Kazimir dropped his gaze, adjusted his hoodie, and said, "I can understand that you don't want to leave your family."
"I don't want to leave them, but this is bigger than
me. Joe's willing to take the risk
that he might have to sacrifice his life for the greater good. He said I've always inspired him, and now he's
inspired me. I'll do it." My
mouth felt dry and I closed my fingers around dying October grass.
Here, I pick up a few lines after last week's snippet. Devorah is the POV character. Creative sentence structure is in use!
Kazimir kissed my forehead then scrambled to his feet; he hung his head and shuffled several steps away.
Now what? "I thought you were happy."
"Well, I was, but I'm about to make you majorly pissed and I'm not happy about that."
I huffed a sigh in exasperation and asked, "What are you talking about?"
He stopped, facing away from me. His hair hung in a ponytail halfway down his back; I hadn't realized it was that long. Stuffing both hands into his jeans pockets, he turned back toward me looking so broken up I thought he might cry. What in the world could be so awful?
Wouldn't you like to know!
Last Sunday, in my excerpt from
Night Shift, I left you wondering what terrible thing Kazimir was going to tell Devorah.
Background: Devorah comes from a mixed Jewish/Catholic family. While she's not devoutly Jewish or Catholic, she does consider Rabbi Abbatoy and Father John to be close friends. She's just come from a discussion with the rabbi about sacrifice, personal responsibility, and the greater good. On her way to talk to Kazimir, she finds him badly beat up. He tells her the demons attacked him.
This excerpt is condensed quite a bit and makes use of creative punctuation :) Kazimir speaks first.
"Because I couldn't let the demons kill me or drag me to hell, I had to promise to do something if they let me live. Understand, you don't promise something to a lieutenant of the Dark and renege, and get away with it." His shoulders were hunched against more than the cool breeze. "It wasn't my idea but I couldn't--ah fuck, I'm making excuses--I promised to bring them a soul."
I wanted to believe this bothered him, but whose soul did he mean? "Don't you dare touch my brother!"
Kazimir raised his hands defensively and said, "Not your family, a friend, I'm sorry."
"Damn you, stop jerking me around and just tell me!"
"Rabbi Abbatoy."
Sticking with the story I started for NaNo 2013, working title Night Shift. You can find previous excerpts here. Last time, Kazimir admitted to Devorah that he was forced to promise to bring the demons a soul, her dear friend Rabbi Abbatoy. Set-up for this excerpt: Not having anybody else she can talk to about the situation, she asks to talk to the angel Adrael. They are outside; walking a little distance away, she and Adrael leave Kazimir on a bench to recover from the beating inflicted by the demons. Adrael has told her that demons are everywhere, including in the synagogue congregation. She speaks first here.
“I know there’s evil in the world, Dad fought it every day. But I have real trouble with the idea that people who work alongside the rabbi every day could be demons and be able to hide that from him so completely. Kazimir might know who told the demons he visited the synagogue."
I strode back through the trees; the bench was empty. I walked around calling Kazimir, wondering where he would have gotten to in a cemetery.
“Oh, Devorah, dear daughter,” Adrael said, sounding like he was about to cry.
Turning, I saw his expression matched his tone. Too confused to complain, I let him put both arms around me.
“He cannot leave his promise unfulfilled . . . daughter, my heart breaks for you.”
Previously, Kazimir admitted to Devorah that he was forced to promise
to
bring the demons a soul, her dear friend Rabbi Abbatoy. The angel
Adrael has said something that leads Devorah to believe Kaz has in fact
gone after the rabbi. Terrified for her friend the rabbi, she runs to
her car. The second speaker in this excerpt is Adrael.
The goofy placement of semi-colons is so the excerpt fits WeWriWa's guidelines :-)
As
I tried to get the key into the ignition, sirens started up, low at
first; more joined in. Out across the cemetery, just above the tree
tops, a thick line of gray smoke drifted up, tinted pink in the sunset.
My hand froze and I sat staring; my voice sounded shrill even to my own
ears. “You lousy bastard, how could you?”
“Devorah,”
said a soft voice from the passenger seat,“you’re in no condition to
drive.” An almost-solid hand eased the key out of my limp fingers.
“Kazimir will already be there, he cannot forgo that promise. It’s
better that you don’t see.”
Last week in my story Night Shift, Devorah was devastated to learn that Kazimir did go
after the rabbi, as he’d told her he had to. Later, he shows up at her house
apologizing. He’s weakened and sits on the floor leaning against the wall as
they talk. Unable to forgive him and horrified at the sort of things Crossers
do, she tells him she can’t go through with joining him. She doesn’t hold back
letting him know how furious she is. Kazimir reacts to that this way:
He
pushed himself up a little straighter. “I can feel how much you hate me. I hate
me too at times like this.” Slowly, he reached to his ankle and slid a small
revolver out from its holster, which he then put on the floor in front of
me—.38 Special, probably. “Tell 911 I dropped the gun and you picked it up. Make
it an eye for an eye.”
I
blinked at the gun. God, it would be so simple.
This scene has kind of come full circle,
because immediately following last week's
excerpt would come the part I posted as my first snippet from this story
(working title Night Shift) here
back in November.
So--Devorah has left Kazimir on the floor in her entryway, where
the angels healed him. Feeling a bit guilty over shooting Kaz, she brought him
a pillow and a throw from the sofa. The next morning, she finds him sitting up
and in the middle of reciting what sounds like a prayer. She starts to leave
but he calls her. She apologizes for shooting him. [Creative punctuation is in
use ;-) I’m sorry for running over the limit a little, but I condensed as much
as I could without losing important parts.]
“I was hoping you’d shoot me,” Kazimir said.
I came all the way down the stairs. “What?”
“I wanted you to go into your own Dark side; I
needed you to see that anger and hatred can drive even you to do demonic
things.”
“You . . . egged me on to make me shoot you? I
could’ve killed you, and you manipulated me!”
“Yeah, and yeah. You almost did kill me, but
then you asked Adrael to help me--there’s no way I’d be completely healed by
now without his help.”
I didn’t know what to make of him; he pushed me
to shoot him, knowing I could have sent that bullet into his head as easily as
his leg. “Selfless, or just determined to prove you’re right about me?”
“What’s the point of being right if I’m dead?
Everybody’s got a price--you get it now?”
Thanks for stopping by my blog today. For more excerpts from
dozens of other writers, hop back to WeWriWa--you won’t be sorry you
did!
For this snippet, Kaz has been
trying to convince Devorah to join the Crossers. He comments that even though
Crossers have to do some things they otherwise would never think of doing, he’s
been doing it for a long time. He’s also said that picturing his wife’s face
helps get him through the bad days. Devorah speaks first here.
“I keep hearing that you’ve been a Crosser for ‘a
long time’ but what exactly does that mean?”
He scratched his ear and scuffed one foot against the
floor. “People don’t believe me about that anymore.”
“Try me--you want me to trust you, right?”
“Telling you won’t help with that. What’s happening
now is what counts.”
“Not if remembering someone you knew a long time ago
is what helps you get through today.”
He folded his arms, walked a little further off, and
said, “My wife died in 1562 … we lived in Tuscany.”
I tried not to stare but couldn’t help myself.
Here we are again, continuing with
my NaNo story, working title
Night Shift.
Commenters
last
week seemed pretty interested in Devorah's response to the news that Kazimir
is over 400 years old, so I'm picking up from there. This is still a first
draft so a lot is subject to change. This snippet has been
tweaked to fit WeWriWa's guidelines ;-)
My head would not
wrap around that; four-hundred-plus years? Really? “Whoa. That’s pretty
incredible . . . how does that happen?”
“A gift from the
Dark side once I reached a certain level. The Light doesn’t really approve but
it’s not one of those things they can interfere with, and now you know.” Kazimir
didn’t face me.
“So does that
mean you’re actually, like, immortal?” But he looked so normal. I stepped back;
he finally turned toward me, and I took one step closer to him.
Thanks for coming by, peeps! Get a
“jump” on Easter and “hop” over to the
WeWriWa
homepage for links to fabulous story excerpts :-D And here’s hoping your
Valentine’s weekend is a great one, if you celebrate! My sister made a
heart-shaped red velvet cake with fudgy frosting, to celebrate family love. Any
holiday that encourages the giving and eating of chocolate, I'm in! :-D
Thanks so much
for visiting and commenting last week, everybody. I’m sorry I didn’t respond to
your comments much. Sunday evening I didn’t feel well and then I started a temp
job, so have been more tired than usual. I really appreciate your uplifting
comments, please know that. Here I am again, ready to continue with my NaNo
story, working title Night Shift. Collected
excerpts for this story are
here.
Skipping ahead in the current scene, Kazimir has tried to
convince Devorah to join his group of Crossers to help restore the balance
between the powers of Light and Dark. Hearing that he’s actually over 400 years
old, she asks him if he’s immortal; all he’ll say is that he should be leaving
because he isn’t supposed to pressure anybody into joining the Crossers.
Devorah speaks first here.
“Someday I’d like to hear
more about your wife, I bet there’s a lot to tell.”
Kazimir just shook his head;
on his way out of the kitchen he said, “Thanks for asking Adrael to heal me, I’ll
look you up in a few days to get your final answer.”
I stopped him before he
reached the front door. “You’ll help me, right? I’m afraid to do this but I
will. I’ve got to believe I’m stronger than I think I am.”
His face lit up and he threw both arms
around me. It made me smile in spite of what I was agreeing to do.
Thanks for coming by, peeps! Get a
“jump” on Easter and “hop” over to the
WeWriWa
homepage for links to fabulous story excerpts :-D There’s probably a dozen
stories that I follow regularly, because it’s so easy to get caught up in the
truly wonderful writing we have access to every single Sunday
J
#
Hello again, peeps! It’s that day
of the week again, #8sunday, where the Weekend Writing Warriors get together
and post 8 sentences from a work in progress or something already published. If
it’s cold in your part of the world, get a steaming mug of your favorite brew
and curl up on the sofa with a good blog hop.
I’m skipping ahead with my WIP,
working title Night Shift. Devorah
has agreed to join Kazimir as a Crosser, one of those special humans who work
to regain the balance of power between Light and Dark, good and evil. Crossers
are Servants of the Light who work undercover as demons, thus treading a very
fine line every day.
The set-up for this scene is a bit
involved so I’ll try to simplify it. Kazimir wants Devorah’s help to capture
one of the demons by luring him to a gathering where several religious leaders
will be present, including Devorah. Kaz knows the demon won’t be able to resist
making a grab for a bunch of souls like that. Devorah is called to a meeting at
the synagogue and is surprised to find all of those leaders there; she makes an
excuse to leave because she knows the demon might be drawn to the group, and
Kaz isn’t ready to spring the trap.
Outside, she’s surprised that a
storm has rolled in, complete with lightning and great crashes of thunder. This
bit picks up as she comes out of the synagogue into the parking lot.
This is all Draft 1 so far.
Some of the plot will be changed but the basic ideas will stay. I’ve tweaked
this part to flow a bit better though there is some creative sentence structure
to keep to the guidelines. The final sentence is the 9th and was not in the
original scene, though I think it adds some drama. What do you think?
Another lightning
flash showed dark clouds spiraling together right over the parking lot. My jaw
dropped and I ran for the woods across the parking lot. As I reached the
canopy, lightning hit the evergreens in front of me with a loud crack, sending flames shooting higher
than I expected for living trees.
A tall shadow
formed in front of the fire, so dark I couldn’t see through it. My blood ran cold
and I froze where I stood: eyes made of fire stared at me. The pure sense of
evil flowing out from the demon almost choked me. Enormous black wings unfolded
behind and above it, not reflecting the fire at all. A black hand, outlined in
fire, reached toward me.
Devorah Moore, rumbled a voice in my
head, your soul is mine.
Thanks for coming by! It’s always lovely to see
you. Don’t forget to hop back to the WeWriWa homepage for more excerpts from
fabulous writers. And if you have any spare sunshine, please, please send it my
way! I’m going to lose my mind shortly if we don’t see that glorious yellow orb!
Sunday Sunday, so good to me . . . Why? Because that’s the day when I get to curl up on the couch with a whole bunch of fabulous story excerpts! How? Through WeWriWa, of course! (I’ll admit that with all this horrid winter weather, I’ve been California dreaming, too)
Collected excerpts for this story are here.
Last week, we left Devorah face to face with a demon made of blackness and eyes of fire, reaching toward her. To make up for the times I ran to 9 or 10 sentences, today I’ve got 7 J
Arms locked around me from behind, the long sleeves sky blue. “I deny you.” Adrael’s voice was barely above a whisper yet clear as a bell.
I shrank against him. The dark hand paused but did not pull back. The eyes flared and turned deep red. I wanted to look away — tried to — but couldn’t.
As a reminder, this story is still in Draft One, tentatively titled Night Shift. It will probably go through several versions by the time I consider it “done” but the basic ideas and character personalities will stay. I’m having a lot of fun with this one, I hope you’re enjoying these excerpts J
Hello again, fellow blog hoppers and anyone else who wanders in. I’m posting from my WIP tentatively titled Night Shift, which is still in Draft One. You can read previous excerpts here. I’m picking up directly from last week’s post, in which Devorah found herself face to face with a demon out in the woods, grateful that the angel Adrael has appeared to protectively wrap his arms around her. The first speaker here is the demon Thaumiel.
“Who dares deny me?” The voice in my head echoed and seemed to fill me right to my feet.
Adrael answered, “My companions and I deny you, as servants of the Light. Go back to the Night, you have no claim on this soul.”
A white glow spread from behind us and the demon snatched its hand back; the fire at its back climbed higher. “I remember you, angel—we will meet again.” The demon shot upward in a shower of fire and sparks.
Despite something pale and soft that covered me, I started coughing as the smell of burning evergreen filled my nostrils and throat; unable to get any clean air into my lungs, I passed out.
Hope that bit of suspense grabbed you! If not, well, this is only Draft One, plenty of time to improve J Be sure to hop back to WeWriWa to find a story you’ll love; or several, I certainly have! Thanks so much for dropping in. I enjoy having company J
Hello again, peeps! It’s that day of the week again, #8sunday, where the Weekend Writing Warriors get together and post 8 sentences from a work in progress or something already published. If it’s cold in your part of the world, get a steaming mug of your favorite brew and curl up on the sofa with a good blog hop. If it’s warm in your part of the world, send me some, pleeeeez!
Collected excerpts for this story are here. Last week, Devorah had a near miss with an ugly demon. The following day, who should come knocking at her door to find out how she’s feeling, but Kazimir. That close encounter with the demon has Devorah about to back off from agreeing to join Kaz’s group of Crossers. Kaz tries to talk her out of walking away. He speaks first here.
“Devorah, I can teach you some things that will help you be stronger. I told you I’d do everything I could to help you, and I meant it. A lot of knowledge is barred until you pass initiation but there are things you can learn. Think of me as the Dark side’s Yoda.”
I tried not to laugh but I did. “Just don’t start talking backwards, because I’ve got enough to handle figuring out what Adrael says.”
“And he’s improved over the years. Will you try it?”
Those sincere brown eyes might be the death of me.
As a reminder, this story is still in Draft One, tentatively titled Night Shift. It will probably go through several versions by the time I consider it “done” but the basic ideas and character personalities will stay. I’m having a lot of fun with this one, I hope you’re enjoying these excerpts J
Got some time this fine Sunday morning? Go on a Weekend Writing Warriors blog hop – it’s less strenuous than a hike but a whole lot more fun! You can visit other planets, other countries here on Earth, even other times, and be back well before lunch J
Continuing with my NaNo story tentatively title Night Shift, Kazimir has a bit of fun in this excerpt. In the last couple of snippets, Devorah had a close encounter with an ugly demon and very nearly got a first-hand look at what hell is like. Kazimir came by her house later to see if she was all right. She agreed to let him teach her some simple protective “magic” but begs off doing anything that night as she’s exhausted. Kaz speaks first here.
Collected excerpts for this story are here. Adrael is an angel. Crossers are demons who work undercover for the forces of Light.
“You’ll be safe enough tonight so I’ll be back around nine-ish tomorrow morning.”
“I don’t feel safe; would I look like a weakling if I asked Adrael to hang around?”
Kazimir’s face fell and he said, “You don’t think I can protect you?”
“That’s not it, you’d blow your cover if any demons ran into you. If you weren’t a Crosser, you wouldn’t be casually hanging around here.”
His grin made my skin crawl. “That’s true, I wouldn’t.” He leaned close and whispered, “I’d ravish you until you begged me to stop. And Adrael’s been here the last two nights.”
Including Devorah’s response would have pushed the excerpt well over 8 sentences, but she has the thought that if she’d been wearing stilettos, she’d have perforated his foot J
Happy Spring to everybody! Hope the weather is cooperating, wherever you live. Do hop back to the WeWriWa home page for more excerpts. I’m probably hopping back and forth as you read this! Thanks for visiting.
Got some time this fine Sunday morning? Go on a Weekend Writing Warriors blog hop – it’s less strenuous than a
hike but a whole lot more fun! You can visit other planets, other countries
here on Earth, even other times, and be back well before lunch J
Continuing with my NaNo story
tentatively title Night Shift. Kazimir leads Devorah through a guided
meditation focusing on the element she’s aligned with, water. She’s able to
easily visualize her favorite area of lakeshore and see herself walking on the
sand. This excerpt is just a bit about her experience during the meditation.
The setting sun threw my long shadow onto the waves. The moon rose
across the water, full and glorious, making white diamonds sparkle among the
long waves. I sat down and let the water creep up to me, touch me light as a
whisper, then draw back. Its quiet laughter as it ran forward then back again
made me smile. Clouds blew across the moon and a drizzle began to fall, but
rather than give me a chill, it seemed to warm me. The urge to dance took me; I
swirled around, in and out of the waves. The rain on my skin felt like
butterfly wings. Finally I stopped, my feet in the waves, my hands held
up to the rain, and a deep sense of peace filling me.
Come join us on our merry blog hop at Weekend Writing Warriors - I guarantee more than one story will
grab you! If you like romance, you’ll find plenty; if you lean toward sci fi,
we have some of that too. Think you’d like to be part of all this writerly fun?
The linky list is posted every Monday morning US Eastern time, and you have
until that following Saturday at midnight to sign up. Then be sure your *8
sentence* excerpt is live on your blog by 9 am Eastern time. Easy peasy!
Thanks to everybody who stops by my blog. I’m tickled pink that
you clicked on my link :)
Happy Easter, everybody J If you don’t celebrate Easter, happy
Sunday to you J I’m skipping ahead in my WIP, tentatively
titled Night Shift. Kazimir has explained his plan to capture the demon
Thaumiel in the basement of Devorah’s synagogue. In order to lure the extremely
cautious Thaumiel into the basement, Kaz and Devorah have come up with a plan
to bring together a bunch of religious leaders whose souls Thaumiel would love
to grab.
Mind you, this is all fully explained in the novel. For now, what
you need to know is that Kazimir has set up a special trap in one of the
basement rooms. He and two of his Crosser friends are waiting for Thaumiel to
arrive and get caught in the trap. The religious leaders are leaving the main
room for a tour of the synagogue and Devorah is trailing behind them. Before
she goes through the doorway, she hears growling coming from across the
basement. She knows Kaz and his friends are in one of the smaller rooms.
Outright howling and snarling erupted,
as if a whole pack of dogs was caught up in a fight to the death. I shut the
door behind Father John and jammed a chair under the doorknob. If Kazimir and
his friends needed help, the small ability I had might be enough to tip the
scales. I ran down the hall. The unearthly howling came from one of the two
doors.
Closing my eyes, I
pictured lake waves glinting in the moonlight and splashing at my feet. Cool
water, part of me, my own energy. I popped my eyes open and opened the
door.
Come join us on our merry blog hop at Weekend Writing Warriors - I guarantee more than one story will
grab you! If you like romance, you’ll find plenty; if you lean toward sci fi,
we have some of that too. Think you’d like to be part of all this writerly fun?
The linky list is posted every Monday morning US Eastern time, and you have
until that following Saturday at midnight to sign up. Then be sure your *8
sentence* excerpt is live on your blog by 9 am Eastern time. Easy peasy!
Continuing with my NaNo story
tentatively titled Night Shift. Devorah knows Kazimir has set up a trap
in the basement of the synagogue to catch the demon Thaumiel. Thinking she
might be able to help Kaz, she opens a door when she hears some very creepy and
unearthly growling coming from behind it. We pick up immediately after she
opens the door.
To the left stood a figure with Kazimir’s face, sort of, but more
skeletal with red eyes. His long hair looked more like black feathers. Leathery
blue-black skin covered his body. A pair of black wings, lined in fire, spread
out behind and above him. One hand held a fire whip and the other held a dagger
with a clear blade, poised to hurl it in my direction.
Icy terror shot through me. I dropped to the floor. Almighty God, save me, I beg you!
Are we having fun yet? J
Our heroine certainly is not! I’ve tweaked a few words in this excerpt but once
again it came out to exactly 8 sentences.
Collected
excerpts for this story are here. Have you
hopped around the Weekend Writing
Warriors blog hop yet? Please do, you’ll find a
whole bunch of that are hard to walk away from! Trust me, I’m picky about what
I read and I’ve found 6 or 7 stories I can’t wait to read. More get added to my
“must read” list every week.
Thanks
for coming by, peeps. There is one spot in my excerpt today that strikes me as
a bit bumpy – let me know what you think!
I
give you six sentences, because in this case, less really is more. This is from a much later scene I just wrote the other day. For this
scene, our heroine Devorah watches as a large group of angels assembles into
the shape of a triangle, standing in a large warehouse room. She knows what they’re going to do, but not how. The angel standing at the triangle’s
forward point calls out an invocation, using titles that Devorah realizes with a
chill are ones commonly used for the Archangel Michael.
A
mist of unearthly whiteness settled onto a spot in front of the triangle’s
point. Within the mist, a tall figure formed. Even from a couple hundred yards
away he was the most achingly beautiful being I’d ever seen. It wasn’t just his
features, though if I ever saw a human who looked like that I’d probably pass
out from ogling. No, the closest I could come to describing him was regal
but that fell short. The tilt of his head, the way his bright hair swept back,
the glorious arc of his feathered wings as they curved behind and above him,
the way the blue sash fit snugly from shoulder to hip--on my knees before I
realized it, I knew no human would ever truly look beautiful to me again.
Hi
again, everybody. Wishing all moms a Super Happy Wonderful day, whether your
kids are human or animal :) Myself, I have a bunny named Miss Mousie and a
parakeet named Herschel. Hope you all have the very best day imaginable!
I'm
picking up with my NaNo story (working title Night Shift) directly from two weeks ago since I got so many requests to continue from where that
one ended. It's pretty cool that you guys are enjoying this!
Left out of the post two weeks ago is the
mention of a tangle of black, writhing shadows on the floor. They have a human
shape, roughly. They are inside a circle drawn on the floor, along with Kazimir
who is now in his demon form. BTW, the story is told from Devorah's point of
view. I'm posting six sentences again because I don't want spoilers!
A
loud humming filled the room. Unable to even move my hands to cover my ears, I
grimaced as the high-pitched sound drove into my brain. One of the writhing
shadows slipped free to ooze across the floor. Vaguely human-shaped, it covered
something round and glowing in the middle of the circle. Kazimir let out
a roar at the same instant that a large shadow dropped into the center of the
circle. The humming quit with a snap.
This
is not really a "feel good" type of story! For some of those, some
introspective stories, some romance, some fantasy, and well okay, one or two
more that are kind of scary, visit WeWriWa.
I know it's Mother's Day in the U.S., but if you have some time today, tonight,
or tomorrow, do visit our participating authors' sites. They put a lot of
thought and effort into their stories. It's a labor of love. I guess you could
say the stories are our children, so Happy Mother's Day to all us authors! :D
Picking
up with my NaNo story tentatively titled Night Shift; the last excerpt I
posted is here.
Devorah has found the room where Kazimir is attempting to trap the demon
Thaumiel. She's gotten in a bit over her head, though, as a large shadow drops
into the middle of the circle she's facing. Kaz and his two friends, all in
their demon forms, are inside the circle.
Turns
out I've got 7 sentences this time! I seem to be having issues with going all
the way to 8, but at least I'm staying within the guidelines this way.
Collected excerpts for this story are here.
The
shadow rose up to brush the ceiling with two curved horns and a pair of wings
made of black fire. It turned to nail me with bright red fire eyes.
My
breath caught in my throat. Almighty God, please help me! The weight of
utter hopelessness pressed me closer to the floor. Try as I might, I
couldn’t take my eyes off the dark terror only a few feet away.
Devorah
Moore, said a deep rolling voice in my
head, your soul is mine.
This
whole thing is Draft 1. I've run into problems with the plot and am considering
what to do about that. At this point, I'm thinking Draft 1 may end up being
backstory. Wish me luck :-)
Hello
again, peeps. Watching Stanley Cup Finals 2014 but taking time between periods
to give you my current excerpt for Weekend Writing Warriors. Keep in mind, this is all Draft
1. I’m in the process of revamping the plot so some of these scenes will not
stay, but I have a feeling some version of this scene will.
Set-up
for this scene: Kazimir has set up a trap for the demon Thaumiel. Devorah knows
about it but didn’t expect to find Kaz in a frightening demon form she’s never
seen before. Kaz enticed Devorah to join the group of demons called Crossers by
promising to help her find out who is ultimately responsible for her father’s
death; here, Kaz has Thaumiel caught in fire chains, and Thaumiel has just said
something unexpected regarding Devorah’s dad. It’s clear to her that Thaumiel
knows something. Kaz, however, was about to destroy Thaumiel so Devorah had to
throw herself against him, knocking Kaz off balance. Some unhappy words are
exchanged and Devorah realizes she cannot reason with Kaz while he’s in demon
form.
Somewhere under
that horrid demon skin was a human soul, if only I could reach it. “Kaz. You promised me I’d get answers. I’ll
never trust you again if you break that promise. I nearly got dragged into hell twice while
helping you, and I don’t expect to be thanked by having a sacred promise
broken.” My voice shook. If he brushed me aside, somehow, someday, I’d make him
pay.
I’m
liking my girl Devorah. She does not take stuff laying down! Hope you guys are
enjoying the WeWriWa blog hop. I can’t wait to get to it myself, to find out
what everybody’s working on J
Do you guys have any
version of a local food fest? Here we have Taste of Buffalo, billed as the largest
two-day food festival in the U.S. I’m planning to go to search for more Kahlua
gelato—if you’ve never had it, you are seriously missing the best thing since
people first discovered how to make ice by themselves!
Hello everybody J Happy summer, at last! Thanks for coming back, even
when I don’t post consistently! I’m continuing with my Draft 1
work-in-progress, tentatively titled Night
Shift although I’m skipping ahead just a bit. Kazimir has the demon
Thaumiel trapped in the basement of a synagogue. Kaz has made it clear he wants
to destroy the demon as payback not just for the death of Devorah’s dad, but
the death of Kaz’s wife as well. Devorah has interrupted Kaz as he was about to
stab the demon which would have broken Kaz’s promise to her to see justice done
for her father’s death. Kaz agrees that Devorah is right when she says turning
Thaumiel over to the angels would be a better punishment than simply destroying
him.
Thaumiel’s on his back on the
floor, with Kaz straddling his chest and holding a dagger. Devorah is next to
Kaz, having thrown herself against him to stop him from stabbing the demon. Kaz speaks to his
prisoner at the start of this excerpt.
“Know
that you would be consigned to oblivion were it not for the truth. An eternity
spent in the Light will be far more painful for you. My heart rests.”
“Fool,
you will be betrayed!” Thaumiel ranted. “Your suffering will surpass
mine!”
“It
already has.” Kazimir drove the dagger into the demon’s chest.
An
electric shock ran through me—he just said he wouldn’t do it!
Thaumiel
howled loud enough to echo, straining to move. Around me, a quiet rumble got
louder; I looked up to see some sections of the walls were missing plaster, and
cracks blossomed sideways deep into the walls.
Uh oh, somebody’s in
trouble now J For excerpts from more
stories than you can shake a stick at, visit Weekend Writing Warriors. I guarantee you’ll find two or three or
several stories you just have to
follow! On an unrelated note, did you know that parakeets can get arthritis in
their jaws? That’s what my veterinarian told me when I took Herschel in to have
his beak trimmed. Sometimes they get arthritis and that’s why they stop chewing
on things like cuttlebones that normally keep the beak in good shape. Huh!
Learning all the time.
I don’t know about you guys, but summer’s here with a vengeance for us. Officially we hit a high temperature of 89 Fahrenheit though with the humidity, it felt at least ten degrees hotter. Still, after a winter with two blizzards, I am not complaining ;-) All is well now, because it’s time for Weekend Writing Warriors!
Don’t know what that is? We invite writers—published or not—to sign our linky list and then post 8 sentences from something you’ve written. Then every Sunday we blog hop down the list and across the world. You may have had fun before but I guarantee you’ve never had this kind of fun! Sci fi, historical murders, love gone wrong and sometimes gone right—it’s a grab bag and any reader’s dream.
So, picking up with my WIP tentatively titled Night Shift, directly from last week. Our heroine Devorah may have just lost her opportunity to find out what really happened when her dad was killed, then she notices the building they’re all in is about to come apart at the seams. Collected excerpts for this story are here. Kaz is still in demon form, wings included. It’s a chilly time of year for these folks, hence the reference to coldness.
Creative punctuation is happening here!
Kazimir slid both arms around me and hauled me off the floor. I kept moving upwards, fast enough to make me light-headed; I squeezed my eyes shut.
An awful crashing went on below me, then to my left. My feet dangled into nothingness. The swaying was worse than the boat trip I’d taken when we got caught in a storm. Frosty wind raked across me, making it hard to get enough air into my lungs. Kazimir’s constricting grip on me didn’t help; gasping, I pummeled his arms. My whole head burned in the cold.
We thumped onto the ground, throwing leaves into my face.
She’s out of the collapsing building, but now what? Where are they? As if I’m going to tell you right now, heehee!
Don’t forget to visit other 8sunday-ers. We thrive on hearing from our fellow writers and anybody who wants to leave a helpful comment. I can’t thank you guys enough for continuing to stop in to my blog. I’m overcommitted in Real Life right now and that means my online time has been spotty, but I get lovely comments every week. So thank you. I appreciate every visitor so much J
Hello all. Because I’ve been getting such great comments on my WIP novel (tentatively entitled Night Shift) I’m continuing immediately from LAST WEEK’s post. Important to know for this week’s excerpt: The demon Thaumiel said something quite unexpected about Devorah’s father, so Devorah stopped Kazimir from destroying him. But then Kaz drove the dagger into Thaumiel anyway, the building they were in began to collapse, and Kaz (in demon form) grabbed Devorah and flew out of the building.
She realizes they’ve landed in the woods well behind the building which is now showing flames. Two more important things to know: the collapsed building is the synagogue where Devorah sometimes went with her mom so it means a lot to her; and, Kaz is always weaker in human form because his demon persona uses a lot of energy. Oh and, just before they left the synagogue, Devorah flung herself against Kaz to stop him from destroying Thaumiel and Kaz’s dagger struck his own leg. That’s minor in demon form but in human form, a bit more serious :-) Collected excerpts for this story are here.
The only sound was our own breathing; through the trees, a yellow-orange glow silhouetted the crumbled heap of the synagogue. I sat up, gritted my teeth, and threw a punch at Kazimir’s face as hard as I could.
A split second before it connected I realized he’d changed from his demon form back to human, but I couldn’t stop the train. My hand felt like it broke apart and I yelped. Kazimir’s head swung to the side; he collapsed.
Just as well. I cradled my throbbing hand. I hope you wake up with one motherfucking headache!
Ouch! Our Devorah has a mean streak :-) Thanks so much for coming by! I love and appreciate your comments. For more excerpts from truly talented writers, be sure to visit the Weekend Writing Warriors HOMEPAGE -- prepare to be amazed, swept away, pulled to the edge of your seat, and engulfed by LOLing … or is that L-ingOL? Acronyms have limitations! I hope your coming week is a happy one.
How did it get to be late July already? I don’t know about you, but I’m not sure I’m quite over last winter :-/ We may have a stormy Sunday morning here in Western New York though that’s great WeWriWa weather :-D Pick some luscious fruit without ever leaving home, because we have some tasty story excerpts right HERE.
My first-draft story tentatively entitled Night Shift left off HERE with Devorah having belted Kazimir for destroying the demon Thaumiel after Kaz said he wouldn’t. Thaumiel had taunted Devorah with a clue about how her dad died and she wanted him alive so she could find out more. Kaz has returned to human form but he’s weakened, plus he took a dagger in the leg only a few minutes before this part of the scene.
Adrael is the angel liaison Devorah and Kaz have been working with. Collected excerpts for this story are here.
With a loud groan, he rolled away from me then sat up to lean over his thigh, both hands pressed over the dagger wound. “Adrael’s got him,” he wheezed.
“Adrael—what? What do you mean?”
“I didn’t destroy him, angels got him.”
“But the dagger--I saw you!” I dropped to a seat on the cold ground; what game was he trying now?
“Fuck it, I didn’t destroy him, the dagger has to strike his eye to do that.”
“Oh . . .” My cheeks flamed. It sure had looked destructive to me.
Every friendship has misunderstandings ;-) I’m having to re-work the plot so I don’t know how many of these scenes will make it into the next draft, but certainly some will. Thanks so much for your encouragement, it means a lot :-)
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