Sticking with the story I started for NaNo 2013, working title Night Shift. You can find previous excerpts here. Last time, Kazimir admitted to Devorah that he was forced to promise to bring the demons a soul, her dear friend Rabbi Abbatoy. Set-up for this excerpt: Not having anybody else she can talk to about the situation, she asks to talk to the angel Adrael. They are outside; walking a little distance away, she and Adrael leave Kazimir on a bench to recover from the beating inflicted by the demons. Adrael has told her that demons are everywhere, including in the synagogue congregation. She speaks first here.
“I know there’s evil in the world, Dad fought it every day. But I have real trouble with the idea that people who work alongside the rabbi every day could be demons and be able to hide that from him so completely. Kazimir might know who told the demons he visited the synagogue."
I strode back through the trees; the bench was empty. I walked around calling Kazimir, wondering where he would have gotten to in a cemetery.
“Oh, Devorah, dear daughter,” Adrael said, sounding like he was about to cry.
Turning, I saw his expression matched his tone. Too confused to complain, I let him put both arms around me.
“He cannot leave his promise unfulfilled . . . daughter, my heart breaks for you.”
Blogger can be such a pain in the ass. Today the "quote" option keeps deleting all the extra spaces between paragraphs. In two or three weeks I'll have trouble with something else. I just don't get why this happens!
Be sure to visit the Weekend Writing Warriors homepage for snippets from some pretty cool writers. I'm pretty picky about what I read and I've found several stories I can't wait to see more of every week. We range from lighthearted and romantic to sci fi, and historical. It's like being in a library, only better, 'cause you get to interact with the authors!
The setup for this bad event is intriguing! I wonder what else you have up your writer's sleeve. :-)
ReplyDeleteAnd, I love your last para about Weekend Writing Warriors. So true!:-)
Wow. Lots of problems and conflicts between the goals of the characters. Well done!
ReplyDeleteTrue dat about WWW. I missed you guys while I was off and I'm behind on my favorites. :)
History Sleuth - A different murder.
Blogger has been a bit cranky of late. You're doing a great job of creating all sorts of issues for your characters to sort through. The last paragraph in this snippet is spectacular. Great job. Happy New Year!
ReplyDeleteSeems like such a no-win situation so I can't wait to see what happens next, and then after that! Excellent excerpt, the emotions come through so clearly.
ReplyDeleteAh crap. She shouldn't have left him alone! I'm still wondering how he's going to get the rabbi's soul. Shoot, I'm all nervous now!
ReplyDeleteEmotion-packed snippet! Can't wait to find out what happens next.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you about WWW... love reading all the snippets and finding new reads. I don't have a lot of time to indulge, but when I do, I have a great list to choose from. :)
A cemetary, angel, demons,rabbi, love all packed into eight sentences and written so well. Thank you . What happens next? We'll tune in Sunday week.
ReplyDeleteangels and demons. good mix. I'm polishing a nano project too. hope to read more next week
ReplyDeleteI still don't see how they can deliver the soul without the "consent" of the soul.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm here; just didn't remember to sign up.
That really stinks. I wonder if the Rabbi will volunteer in order to try and save Kazimir?
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year, Marcia!
a promise may be a promise, but I am intrigued as to how this is all going to work out. great 8
ReplyDeleteAn intriguing eight there.
ReplyDeleteThank you all so very much. I'm sorry I didn't respond sooner. I had computer issues most of the week, and New Year's, and it just didn't work out. But please know that I love seeing you guys every week. I'll do better this next round :)
ReplyDelete