Continuing with my NaNo story
tentatively titled Night Shift. Devorah knows Kazimir has set up a trap
in the basement of the synagogue to catch the demon Thaumiel. Thinking she
might be able to help Kaz, she opens a door when she hears some very creepy growling coming from behind it. We pick up immediately after she
opens the door.
To the left stood a figure with Kazimir’s face, sort of, but more skeletal with red eyes. His long hair looked more like black feathers. Leathery blue-black skin covered his body. A pair of black wings, lined in fire, spread out behind and above him. One hand held a fire whip and the other held a dagger with a clear blade, poised to hurl it in my direction.Icy terror shot through me. I dropped to the floor. Almighty God, save me, I beg you!
Are we having fun yet? J Our heroine is not! I’ve
tweaked a few words in this excerpt but once again it came out to exactly 8
sentences.
Collected excerpts for this story are here. Have you hopped around the Weekend Writing Warriors blog hop yet? Please
do, you’ll find a whole bunch of that are hard to walk away from! Trust me, I’m
picky about what I read and I’ve found 6 or 7 stories I can’t wait to read. More get added to my "must read" list every week.
Thanks for coming by, peeps. There is one spot in my excerpt today
that strikes me as a bit bumpy – let me know what you think!
Geez, I think I will be scared to open closet doors for a while after reading this passage. Very effective with the fear factor.
ReplyDeleteHee hee! Thanks Chelle.
DeleteOK wow, no mistaking the fact that this is a Demon! Really a vivid description, excellent excerpt. Can't wait to see what happens next...
ReplyDeleteSo glad you enjoyed it :)
DeleteYou rascal, Marcia. You've given us a Psycho moment-the scene in the shower. Where oh where do those demons come from described so well? Do you eat a magical potion before writing? Well done.
ReplyDeleteHee hee! I am truly humbled by your comment, Charmaine. And okay, pretty darn pleased too! Thanks so much.
DeleteWow. Excellent visual description. Is it wrong of me to think that the demon is beautiful? In a terrifying way, of course...
ReplyDeleteI hadn't thought about beautiful. That's pretty cool. Thanks for that :)
DeleteBlack wings lined in fire! OMG. So excellent. Please, next week, continue right from where you left off!!!!
ReplyDeleteaww. I'm tickled you like it that much, Millie.
DeleteGood grief, that would be enough to make you wet your pants! Nicely done.
ReplyDelete*laff* Holy cow, I think my work here is done! :D Thanks Cara.
DeleteThat is one scary passage!
ReplyDeleteThanks for coming by, Elaine!
DeleteTHAT was freaking scary! What a description, Girl! Wow! Great job! :-)
ReplyDeleteHee hee! Thanks very much. :D
DeleteWell, I guess whatever little bumpy thing I thought was there might not be of much concern after all. :D
Thanks so much, everybody. Your comments make my whole week!