Weekend Writing Warriors 3/16/14

Sunday Sunday, so good to me . . . Why? Because that’s the day when I get to curl up on the couch with a whole bunch of fabulous story excerpts! How? Through WeWriWa, of course! (I’ll admit that with all this horrid winter weather, I’ve been California dreaming, too.)

Collected excerpts for this story are here.

Last week, we left Devorah face to face with a demon made of blackness and eyes of fire, reaching toward her. To make up for the times I ran to 9 or 10 sentences, today I’ve got 7 :-)

Arms locked around me from behind, the long sleeves sky blue. “I deny you.” Adrael’s voice was barely above a whisper yet clear as a bell.

I shrank against him. The dark hand paused but did not pull back. The eyes flared and turned deep red. I wanted to look away — tried to — but couldn’t. 

As a reminder, this story is still in Draft One, tentatively titled Night Shift. It will probably go through several versions by the time I consider it “done” but the basic ideas and character personalities will stay. I’m having a lot of fun with this one, I hope you’re enjoying these excerpts :-D

Weekend Writing Warriors 3/9/14

Hello again, peeps! It’s that day of the week again, #8sunday, where the Weekend Writing Warriors get together and post 8 sentences from a work in progress or something already published. If it’s cold in your part of the world, get a steaming mug of your favorite brew and curl up on the sofa with a good blog hop.

I’m skipping ahead with my WIP, working title Night Shift. Devorah has agreed to join Kazimir as a Crosser, one of those special humans who work to regain the balance of power between Light and Dark, good and evil. Crossers are Servants of the Light who work undercover as demons, thus treading a very fine line every day. Collected excerpts for this story are here.

The set-up for this scene is a bit involved so I’ll try to simplify it. Kazimir wants Devorah’s help to capture one of the demons by luring him to a gathering where several religious leaders will be present, including Devorah. Kaz knows the demon won’t be able to resist making a grab for a bunch of souls like that. Devorah is called to a meeting at the synagogue and is surprised to find all of those leaders there; she makes an excuse to leave because she knows the demon might be drawn to the group, and Kaz isn’t ready to spring the trap.

Outside, she’s surprised that a storm has rolled in, complete with lightning and great crashes of thunder. This bit picks up as she comes out of the synagogue into the parking lot.

This is all Draft 1 so far. Some of the plot will be changed but the basic ideas will stay. I’ve tweaked this part to flow a bit better though there is some creative sentence structure to keep to the guidelines. The final sentence is the 9th and was not in the original scene, though I think it adds some drama. What do you think?

Another lightning flash showed dark clouds spiraling together right over the parking lot. My jaw dropped and I ran for the woods across the parking lot. As I reached the canopy, lightning hit the evergreens in front of me with a loud crack, sending flames shooting higher than I expected for living trees.

A tall shadow formed in front of the fire, so dark I couldn’t see through it. My blood ran cold and I froze where I stood: eyes made of fire stared at me. The pure sense of evil flowing out from the demon almost choked me. Enormous black wings unfolded behind and above it, not reflecting the fire at all. A black hand, outlined in fire, reached toward me.

Devorah Moore, rumbled a voice in my head, your soul is mine.

Thanks for coming by! It’s always lovely to see you. Don’t forget to hop back to the WeWriWa homepage for more excerpts from fabulous writers. And if you have any spare sunshine, please, please send it my way! I’m going to lose my mind shortly if we don’t see that glorious yellow orb!

Not a good day in Buffalo

You know, I always sit down on Saturday and look over my chapters, deciding what I want to post for Weekend Writing Warriors (8sunday). Just before I did that today, however, I heard that my hockey team the Buffalo Sabres lost Director of Hockey Operations Pat Lafontaine (he resigned). You've heard the idea that bad things come in threes? Yesterday the Sabres traded revered goalie Ryan Miller and captain Steve Ott. Now with Patty also gone, my heart's just not in anything tonight.

If you're not much of a sports fan this won't mean much to you, but my town is hardcore hockey. (Football is a big deal too, but I've never been interested in football) We get behind our team full throttle. Home games are either sold out or close to, even though the Sabres have been in last place all season.

Ryan's been here for 12 years; we've seen him grow from a young guy full of promise who spoke his mind without shame, to a married man considered by most people in hockey to be one of the top 5 best goalies in the world. He's backed two USA Olympic teams. He does a lot of charity work locally. To say the fans adore him is an understatement.

Steve came to the Sabres in 2012 as an "enforcer." The Sabres back then were pretty weak as far as hitting and hard checking. Steve was somebody the organization hoped would change that. Some people accused him of taking cheap shots; I don't think I saw any of that with him, though he did hit hard and often. It's hockey, that is part of the game. Steve quickly earned the respect of his team mates and was awarded the coveted C for "captain." He also got involved in local charities. To help our local zoo, he and the Sabres sold Ott's Otters. This Facebook page shows the cute little thing. He helped bring some respect to the Sabres and helped them realize they should stand up for themselves in the face of other guys' cheap shots. And the Sabres were on the receiving end of several cheap shots, one resulting in Ryan's concussion.

Since Ryan and Steve were both approaching free agency, on one hand it's no surprise they got traded. Rumors have been out there since last summer. Still, reality bites. In his farewell press conference, Ryan was so emotional he had a hard time answering media questions.

There's no explanation yet why Patty Lafontaine resigned. When he came on board at the long-overdue firing of GM Darcy Regier, all signs seemed to point to Pat settling back in town for a while. When fans heard that not only was thorn-in-our-sides Darcy gone but that Pat was back, bringing Ted Nolan with him, the whole town took a Mardi Gras atmosphere. This was what we'd been waiting for, for years! People who actually know and love Buffalo, know hockey, know what they're doing.

We aren't 100% surprised to hear that Ryan and Steve are gone, but Pat, we really thought you'd thrown your lot in with us. From the fan comments I'm seeing around the internet, I'm not the only fan who feels let down and even kind of betrayed. I don't blame Pat. If he felt he had to resign, I'm positive he had good reason. It's just that we're tired of waiting and rebuilding and shuffling and hoping. We had a bit of progress and now everything is up in the air, yet again.

I'm not even a player who has to deal with this, and I'm tired of it. St. Louis, you have Steve and Ryan, is there room for me?

Weekend Writing Warriors 2/23/14

Thanks so much for visiting and commenting last week, everybody. I’m sorry I didn’t respond to your comments much. Sunday evening I didn’t feel well and then I started a temp job, so have been more tired than usual. I really appreciate your uplifting comments, please know that. Here I am again, ready to continue with my NaNo story, working title Night Shift. Collected excerpts for this story are here.

Skipping ahead in the current scene, Kazimir has tried to convince Devorah to join his group of Crossers to help restore the balance between the powers of Light and Dark. Hearing that he’s actually over 400 years old, she asks him if he’s immortal; all he’ll say is that he should be leaving because he isn’t supposed to pressure anybody into joining the Crossers. Devorah speaks first here.

“Someday I’d like to hear more about your wife, I bet there’s a lot to tell.”

Kazimir just shook his head; on his way out of the kitchen he said, “Thanks for asking Adrael to heal me, I’ll look you up in a few days to get your final answer.” 

I stopped him before he reached the front door. “You’ll help me, right? I’m afraid to do this but I will. I’ve got to believe I’m stronger than I think I am.” 

His face lit up and he threw both arms around me. It made me smile in spite of what I was agreeing to do.

Thanks for coming by, peeps! Get a “jump” on Easter and “hop” over to the WeWriWa homepage for links to fabulous story excerpts :-D There’s probably a dozen stories that I follow regularly, because it’s so easy to get caught up in the truly wonderful writing we have access to every single Sunday J

Weekend Writing Warriors 2/16/14

Here we are again, continuing with my NaNo story, working title Night Shift. Commenters last week seemed pretty interested in Devorah's response to the news that Kazimir is over 400 years old, so I'm picking up from there. This is still a first draft so a lot is subject to change. Collected excerpts for this story are here. This snippet has been tweaked to fit WeWriWa's guidelines ;-)

My head would not wrap around that; four-hundred-plus years? Really? “Whoa. That’s pretty incredible . . . how does that happen?” 

“A gift from the Dark side once I reached a certain level. The Light doesn’t really approve but it’s not one of those things they can interfere with, and now you know.” Kazimir didn’t face me.

“So does that mean you’re actually, like, immortal?” But he looked so normal. I stepped back; he finally turned toward me, and I took one step closer to him.

Thanks for coming by, peeps! Get a “jump” on Easter and “hop” over to the WeWriWa homepage for links to fabulous story excerpts :-D And here’s hoping your Valentine’s weekend is a great one, if you celebrate! My sister made a heart-shaped red velvet cake with fudgy frosting, to celebrate family love. Any holiday that encourages the giving and eating of chocolate, I'm in! :-D

Weekend Writing Warriors 2/09/14

Hello again, new peeps and previous peeps :) Continuing with my NaNo story, working title Night Shift. It’s all still basically first draft; I tweak the excerpts for posting here but parts of the plot are subject to change. Collected excerpts from this story are here. 

For this snippet, Kaz has been trying to convince Devorah to join the Crossers. He comments that even though Crossers have to do some things they otherwise would never think of doing, he’s been doing it for a long time. He’s also said that picturing his wife’s face helps get him through the bad days. Devorah speaks first here.

“I keep hearing that you’ve been a Crosser for ‘a long time’ but what exactly does that mean?”

He scratched his ear and scuffed one foot against the floor. “People don’t believe me about that anymore.”

“Try me--you want me to trust you, right?”

“Telling you won’t help with that. What’s happening now is what counts.”

“Not if remembering someone you knew a long time ago is what helps you get through today.”

He folded his arms, walked a little further off, and said, “My wife died in 1562 … we lived in Tuscany.”

I tried not to stare but couldn’t help myself.

Thanks for stopping by my blog today. For more excerpts from dozens of other writers, hop back to WeWriWa--you won’t be sorry you did!

To all our long-term participants of WeWriWa, thanks so much for making this blog hop tons of fun. To our new peeps, we hope you’ll be comfy enough to stay--there’s no wearing out your welcome with us! :)

Weekend Writing Warriors 2/02/14

Well well, it’s finally February! I am *so* excited to leave January behind! Not just because so much of the U.S. had such terrible weather--and it was terrible, some people lost their lives in the blizzards and extreme cold--but the good news is that Weekend Writing Warriors turns one year old! :) Having recently gathered a bunch of comments from you, our wonderful readers/participants, we are thinking about some kind of celebration. Stay tuned to the WeWriWa main page!

On to my sentences. This scene has kind of come full circle, because immediately following last week's excerpt would come the part I posted as my first snippet from this story (working title Night Shift) here back in November. 

So--Devorah has left Kazimir on the floor in her entryway, where the angels healed him. Feeling a bit guilty over shooting Kaz, she brought him a pillow and a throw from the sofa. The next morning, she finds him sitting up and in the middle of reciting what sounds like a prayer. She starts to leave but he calls her. She apologizes for shooting him. [Creative punctuation is in use ;-) I’m sorry for running over the limit a little, but I condensed as much as I could without losing important parts.] 

“I was hoping you’d shoot me,” Kazimir said. 

I came all the way down the stairs. “What?”

“I wanted you to go into your own Dark side; I needed you to see that anger and hatred can drive even you to do demonic things.” 

“You . . . egged me on to make me shoot you? I could’ve killed you, and you manipulated me!” 

“Yeah, and yeah. You almost did kill me, but then you asked Adrael to help me--there’s no way I’d be completely healed by now without his help.”

I didn’t know what to make of him; he pushed me to shoot him, knowing I could have sent that bullet into his head as easily as his leg. “Selfless, or just determined to prove you’re right about me?” 

“What’s the point of being right if I’m dead? Everybody’s got a price--you get it now?”

Thanks for stopping by my blog today. For more excerpts from dozens of other writers, hop back to WeWriWa--you won’t be sorry you did!

To all our long-term participants of WeWriWa, thanks so much for making this blog hop tons of fun. To our new peeps, we hope you’ll be comfy enough to stay--there’s no wearing out your welcome with us! :)