Saturday, March 15, 2014

Weekend Writing Warriors 3/16/14



Sunday Sunday, so good to me . . . Why? Because that’s the day when I get to curl up on the couch with a whole bunch of fabulous story excerpts! How? Through WeWriWa, of course! (I’ll admit that with all this horrid winter weather, I’ve been California dreaming, too.)

Collected excerpts for this story are here.

Last week, we left Devorah face to face with a demon made of blackness and eyes of fire, reaching toward her. To make up for the times I ran to 9 or 10 sentences, today I’ve got 7 :-)
Arms locked around me from behind, the long sleeves sky blue. “I deny you.” Adrael’s voice was barely above a whisper yet clear as a bell.

I shrank against him. The dark hand paused but did not pull back. The eyes flared and turned deep red. I wanted to look away tried to but couldn’t. 
As a reminder, this story is still in Draft One, tentatively titled Night Shift. It will probably go through several versions by the time I consider it “done” but the basic ideas and character personalities will stay. I’m having a lot of fun with this one, I hope you’re enjoying these excerpts :-D

13 comments:

  1. Scary. Good description. Great8, er, 7 ;)

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    1. Thanks, Chelle! I'm looking forward to filling this scene out a bit more.

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  2. I can just picture those flaring red eyes. Intense and intriguing!

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    1. Hey Debbie! Thanks so much. I wish I could draw the way I picture the scene, it scares *me*!

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  3. Very intense. This is my favorite>“I deny you.” Adrael’s voice was barely above a whisper yet clear as a bell.

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  4. Makes it sound like humans are helpless participants in the war between angels and demons.

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  5. Oh wow. Another very intense moment. Nice 8. :)

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  6. Very intense, Marcia.

    Maybe it's the limited snippet, but I'm a bit confused. Is there a third person wearing a sky blue shirt who has grasped her from behind? Or, did Adrael spin her after he grasped her? I'm getting a goofy visual (probably just me). I think it's because she was grasped from behind but she's looking at his red, flaring eyes. Hmm, maybe I need to step away from the computer lol. In any case, it is full of tension and you did a great job writing that in. :-)

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  7. Dramatic for sure! An intense snippet from this engrossing story...

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  8. I had the same 'who are the players' moment as Teresa, but I that's the limitation of a snippet.

    The visual of the bad guy is really striking, though. Scary eyes!

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  9. Man, I think I just shite meself! Yikes. That was completely clear to me. Adrael stepped up behind her and wrapped his arms around her and told the demon to piss off! Right? She saw Adrael's blue sleeves. The demon, however, isn't easily dissuaded.

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  10. "I deny you" doesn't seem to be enough. I wonder if Adrael knows something else to get ride of the demon.

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