Saturday, April 26, 2014

Weekend Writing Warriors 4/27/14: You don't need a costume for Halloween, do you



Continuing with my NaNo story tentatively titled Night Shift. Devorah knows Kazimir has set up a trap in the basement of the synagogue to catch the demon Thaumiel. Thinking she might be able to help Kaz, she opens a door when she hears some very creepy growling coming from behind it. We pick up immediately after she opens the door.

To the left stood a figure with Kazimir’s face, sort of, but more skeletal with red eyes. His long hair looked more like black feathers. Leathery blue-black skin covered his body. A pair of black wings, lined in fire, spread out behind and above him. One hand held a fire whip and the other held a dagger with a clear blade, poised to hurl it in my direction.

Icy terror shot through me. I dropped to the floor. Almighty God, save me, I beg you! 

Are we having fun yet? J Our heroine is not! I’ve tweaked a few words in this excerpt but once again it came out to exactly 8 sentences.

Collected excerpts for this story are here. Have you hopped around the Weekend Writing Warriors blog hop yet? Please do, you’ll find a whole bunch of that are hard to walk away from! Trust me, I’m picky about what I read and I’ve found 6 or 7 stories I can’t wait to read. More get added to my "must read" list every week.

Thanks for coming by, peeps. There is one spot in my excerpt today that strikes me as a bit bumpy – let me know what you think!


16 comments:

  1. Geez, I think I will be scared to open closet doors for a while after reading this passage. Very effective with the fear factor.

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  2. OK wow, no mistaking the fact that this is a Demon! Really a vivid description, excellent excerpt. Can't wait to see what happens next...

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  3. You rascal, Marcia. You've given us a Psycho moment-the scene in the shower. Where oh where do those demons come from described so well? Do you eat a magical potion before writing? Well done.

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    1. Hee hee! I am truly humbled by your comment, Charmaine. And okay, pretty darn pleased too! Thanks so much.

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  4. Wow. Excellent visual description. Is it wrong of me to think that the demon is beautiful? In a terrifying way, of course...

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    1. I hadn't thought about beautiful. That's pretty cool. Thanks for that :)

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  5. Black wings lined in fire! OMG. So excellent. Please, next week, continue right from where you left off!!!!

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    1. aww. I'm tickled you like it that much, Millie.

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  6. Good grief, that would be enough to make you wet your pants! Nicely done.

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    1. *laff* Holy cow, I think my work here is done! :D Thanks Cara.

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  7. THAT was freaking scary! What a description, Girl! Wow! Great job! :-)

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    1. Hee hee! Thanks very much. :D

      Well, I guess whatever little bumpy thing I thought was there might not be of much concern after all. :D

      Thanks so much, everybody. Your comments make my whole week!

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