Saturday, October 5, 2013

Weekend Writing Warriors 10/6/13

Street Glass is my novel-in-progress. My tagline: Underprivileged 18-yr-old Latino leaves street gang and befriends white, over-privileged rock musicians.

While some of the plot is subject to change (draft two is a pretty early draft, after all) the basic elements will stay, as will the character "voices." So these excerpts will still give you a good idea of how the plot plays out and what the characters are like. The year is 1986, in Los Angeles, California.

The previous excerpts are collected here. 

While watching the band rehearse, Neal is unpleasantly surprised by the fact that Sandy’s drum tech, Phil, is a black guy; but Phil’s not like the creeps Neal knew back in the ’hood. He offers to teach Neal about the drum kit.

For reference, remember that these scenes take place in 1986. Coyote is the leader of the gang Neal left. The throne is what the drum seat is actually called. Also, please keep in mind that my excerpts are condensed quite a bit.

Because Phil remains a secondary support character in the story, he doesn’t get much “screen time” so I’m lingering on this scene to give him his due. Next week I’ll continue from where this week’s snippet ends. Phil tells Neal to tap one of the furthest-away cymbals, but Neal can’t quite reach it. Phil speaks first here.
“Second lesson: sit up straight and in the middle of the throne, not on the edge. Good posture is how you play better, faster and longer; plus, ya know, you feel better. President Reagan and Governor Deukmejian stand tall--there’s no doubt these guys mean business. You carry yourself like you’re worth something, and people will treat you that way.”

Neal blinked at him; who was he to be talking like that? He was right, though--Coyote got people out of his way just by how he looked at them. Neal shifted on the throne and sat up. He touched the cymbals easily.
The imaginative participants at Weekend Writing Warriors will show you snippets of romances, breakups, fantasy lands, cities on other planets, lands far back in Earth's history and some far in our future. I'm pretty picky about the stuff I read and I've found lots of stories I can't wait to read more of!

Thanks for visiting my blog today, and for all the continuing wonderful comments. They really make my week :-D

25 comments:

  1. Very good lessons here. Now Neal needs to know how to be inside what he is supposed to show outside.

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    1. Yes indeed Linda. That's an ongoing struggle!

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  2. Excellent use of the 8's! I love how this story is unfolding. Well done

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    1. How sweet of you, J.A. I really appreciate that.

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  3. 'carry yourself like you're worth something'. Perfect lifetime lesson and to read it within this story is way cool. Thank you, my friend. Wonderful.

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    1. Aww, thanks so much! :-D Comments like that make my whole week!

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  4. Neal's absorbing some good life lessons along the way here. I enjoy this story, thanks for letting us have more of Phil. Excellent excerpt!

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    1. Veronica, I'm pleased & humbled by your comment. Thanks!

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  5. Very well done, can't wait for next week. Great snippet.

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    1. How nice of you. There's more of Phil next week. I'm trying to come up with a way to bring him back into the story near the end; still working on that. Thanks for stopping by.

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  6. Lovely snippet - so much in so little and placing in historical context AND realization/character growth too. Very nicely done.Excellent 8!

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    1. Hi Susan :) It took some work but I like the scene too. I think I like this condensed version better, lol!

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  7. Very nice snippet! Neal's learning a lot more than just drums which is a good way to show both characters,

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    1. Thanks Emelie. Yeah, he's got a lot of learning to take in. Necessary learning!

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  8. I like how Neil still hangs onto that cockiness from being part of la familia, yet when he thinks about it, he knows how right the guys are when they tell him something. This is an interesting story, watching Neil evolve from who he was in chapter one, to the "saved" person he's becoming. :-) Nice 8!

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    1. Hey Teresa. Appreciate that.

      Maybe, just for the fun of it, I'll post from one of the chapters I've done recently. He's developed some personality issues ;-)

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    1. Hi Frank. Thanks so much for coming by.

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  10. Nice 8. I like how Neal is still trying to be so hard and street wise and yet he is just a young man who is learning so much about life - and it is not all bad.

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    1. Hey there Chelle. He's still finding it a little hard to let go of the familiar, but slowly, it's coming :)

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  11. Neal is evolving. You're doing it at a good pace too I think. He takes a few steps forward, one back but keeps on going. Despite his self doubt he's determined. Can't help routing for a character like that. Even when he messes up once in a while, we can't help but to pull for him.
    History Sleuth's Milk Carton Murders

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    1. Hi Cindy! Thanks so much. There's more messing up to come, because we wouldn't want a boring story ..... insert devil-horned-emoticon here!

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