Pulling again from my NaNoWriMo story, Night Shift. The previous excerpts are here and here. The male main
character, Kazimir, is explaining to the female main character, (and POV
character) Devorah, and the angel Adrael what his plan is—to trap the demon
Thaumiel. This is still pretty early in the story. When Adrael asks Kazimir why
he wants to involve Devorah in something so dangerous, Kazimir replies that
Thaumiel was the one who ordered Devorah’s father to be murdered. Kaz is the
first speaker.The imaginative participants at Weekend Writing Warriors will show you snippets of romances, breakups, fantasy lands, cities on other planets, lands far back in Earth's history and some far in our future. I'm pretty picky about the stuff I read and I've found lots of stories I can't wait to read more of!“Dev’s been pretty active and outspoken herself so if he thinks she’s continuing her father’s efforts, he’ll be itching to get her too.”Adrael’s eyes narrowed and his whole form wavered faintly, like fog moving on water.Kazimir set both fists on his hips and glared back; I shivered.“Are you saying what I think you are?” said a voice that sounded like mine but from far away.Kazimir’s eyes bounced from the angel to me and back. He rubbed his hands together slowly and approached me one step at a time; I backed up.“Dear Devorah, if Thaumiel considers you a prize worth having, he’ll come after you. My friends and I will be there to protect you, all you have to do is show up at a certain place and time. You’d be the proverbial carrot on a stick, always out of reach.”
Thanks for visiting my blog today, and for all the continuing wonderful comments. They really make my week :-D
Well written. You drew me in with the first few words. Thanks and a Happy Holiday to you.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Charmaine. Hope your holidays are wonderful too.
DeleteOh goodness, the tension is great. I don't know if she wants to be a carrot on a stick...that's a scary place to dangle : )
ReplyDeleteIndeed it is! Really nice to see you, Millie.
DeleteUh oh, not a good idea to be the carrot on the stick, methinks. Enjoying this story a LOT, can't wait for more. Excellent excerpt!
ReplyDeleteGreat snippet to draw us in and leave us wanting so much more! Great 8!
ReplyDeleteAlways out of reach? Let's hope so! Tense and exciting snippet!
ReplyDeleteI always enjoy when you post a back and fort between your characters. They always do such a great job playing off one another. Also, I love the name Kazimir.
ReplyDeleteYou have such great imagery here: "fog moving on the water," "always just out of reach." Although I have the feeling that last bit may not be entirely true for our dear Devorah. I'm so excited to see what happens next. Great eight!
ReplyDeleteAs long as the carrot is firmly attached to the stick!
ReplyDeleteTheir a plotin' and a schemin' and using her for bait! Love the last paragraph. I can just hear a coniving voice saying that. Well done!
ReplyDeleteHistory Sleuth's Milk Carton Murders
Thank you all VERY MUCH for the touching comments. You guys rock my world!
ReplyDeleteThe black screen of death has hit my laptop and my iPad is just difficult to do certain things on, so I didn't post today. But maybe if you guys keep your fingers crossed and say a prayer, I'll get the laptop back soon and it will be safe from further black attacks :)
How do you come up with your names?? since you didn't post today am replying here and I can't believe you didn't edit this either lol
ReplyDeleteHi Sue :) I found Kazimir's name through the name generator in Scrivener. I looked there for my FMC also, didn't like the others but Devorah is a name I've always liked. I found Adrael's name while trolling ---er researching angel names online :)
DeleteIn my fantasy world, black screens of death are forever banned. Just sayin'...
ReplyDeleteI really like your characters' names, Marcia! And the story sounds intriguing. What a neat change-up from SG. :-)
*laff* Thanks Rees. Wish I could ban black screens in this reality too!
DeleteI have to wonder what the cost of protection will be. Definitely intriguing.
ReplyDeleteWell, once I get Lance the laptop back, you might get a hint ;)
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