Saturday, September 14, 2013

Weekend Writing Warriors 9/15/13

Street Glass is my novel-in-progress. My tagline: Underprivileged 18-yr-old Latino leaves street gang and befriends white, over-privileged rock musicians.

While some of the plot is subject to change (draft two is a pretty early draft, after all) the basic elements will stay, as will the character "voices." So these excerpts will still give you a good idea of how the plot plays out and what the characters are like. The year is 1986, in Los Angeles, California.

Last time, Neal skipped out of rehab and got a rude surprise. In the current draft of the full story, I pick up with Sandy at the rehab hospital. It sounds like he's seen the last of Neal--for my 8sunday excerpt, I continue with Sandy still at the hospital.
Sandy crossed his arms and said, “You owe me some explanation of why you ran off, and why you came back.”

Neal shuffled down the hall, seeming to speak to his sneakers when he answered, “Just couldn’t deal with it. An’ I met up with Flaco.”

“If that’s the guy who left the gang before you, how did he wind up here?”

“Long story, we went to his apartment an’ some assholes lookin’ for somebody else shot him.”

“Oh my God, what happened to him?”

“They said he’d prob’ly make it, but who knows.”

“After your family getting shot, I suppose you came back to rehab because another shooting made you pretty nervous.”

Neal shifted his suitcase to the other hand, walked quicker, and said, “When I go back with you, I get more’n livin’ in a mansion.”
This scene takes place on the day Neal is legitimately released from the rehab hospital.

This excerpt has been condensed to fit the 8sunday format :-)
The imaginative participants at Weekend Writing Warriors will show you snippets of romances, breakups, fantasy lands, cities on other planets, lands far back in Earth's history and some far in our future. I'm pretty picky about the stuff I read and I've found lots of stories I can't wait to read more of!

Thanks for visiting my blog today. Comments gratefully accepted :-D

14 comments:

  1. Hi there, nice to see you again! This is an intriguing bit, but I feel like I'm not sure what matters to these characters yet, if there's conflict between them. It's hard to squeeze that into eight sentences I know. ;) Thanks for sharing.

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    1. Hi back hun! Yeah, it's hard to convey all the things that go into a new friendship forming in just a few sentences once a week. The full chapters show friendship and conflict better. The story itself spans six years, so what I share here is a tiny, tiny portion.

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  2. Sounds like Neal's blunder and the reality of life hit him and he had an epiphany---hopefully. Nice writing, Marcia!

    History Sleuth's Writings No snippet for me this week, I've got veggies to process. Just hopping to a few on breaks.

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    1. Yep, he hit that reality wall pretty hard. Sometimes you have to, in order to understand the bigger picture.

      Veggies? What fun. Hey, if you have any left over, my bunny will take them off your hands :D :D

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  3. Sometimes it takes a shock to get someone to open their eyes. You've conveyed that well with Flaco's violent death. Good job, Marcia!

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    1. Hey :D Thanks!

      You know, I don't want Flaco to actually die; there are other people thru-out the story who get shot and several get killed, I just didn't want it to become, well, overkill ;-)

      This excerpt is condensed *a lot*. Some of the subtleties are left out but it gets the basic ideas across.

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  4. First, I love your description of the Weekend Writing Warriors' excerpts, don't think I'd said that before! Second, I'm so glad he went back to rehab and hopefully this incident will give him what he needs to persevere this time. Such a gritty, true to life story - great excerpt!

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    1. Veronica, that's so nice of you! I love the way WeWriWa authors are all over the map; really, if readers can't find stories to get interested in, they're not trying. lol!

      I love throwing obstacles at Neal. Sometimes I throw too many. But it is a sad fact that people who live like Neal tend to be caught in a revolving door. Some get free but not enough.

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  5. Nice job showing Neal's slightly sheepish acceptance of Sandy's help. I like that he realizes she's offering more than just luxury. Great 8!

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    1. It's tough for Neal to admit he's wrong. It's especially tough when he's proven wrong so dramatically! Thanks for visiting.

      [Sandy's a guy but that's not obvious in every excerpt :)]

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  6. I really love that last line. Lots of folks would just love to live in a mansion, but that's not what he's returning for...so telling. Kind of made me want to hug Neal this week. Poor kid, he's been through the wringer!

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  7. Sounds like he might feel he's found another family.

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  8. I love all the body language, it gives the dialogue depth. They're certainly living in dangerous times!

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  9. Nicely done! Neal is starting to like his new world.

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