While some of the plot is subject to change (draft two is a
pretty early draft, after all) the basic elements will stay, as will the
character "voices." So these excerpts will still give you a good idea
of how the plot plays out and what the characters are like. The year is 1986,
in Los Angeles, California.
Moving ahead a little, Neal has
begun the drug rehab program that Sandy threatened him with promised
him. About
a week into the 4-week program, he runs into his old friend Dario, who
managed to escape the street gang and live to talk about it (how he dodged the
rule of “if you leave, we kill you” is explained in the story J)
Dario says he’s being released in two days. Neal devises a plan.
This section has been condensed to
fit the rules so it reads a bit choppy here.
Aaack! September? Say it ain't so!He and Dario followed the nurse to the front door where a middle-aged Latina gave Dario a hug.The nurse wished Dario luck, told Neal morning therapy sessions would be starting soon, and walked off.“Hey,” Dario said, “you remember mi madre, Mercedes?”She chattered about how good it was to see Neal again so he must’ve met her before. Making sure that the nurses still weren’t watching, he shouldered Dario closer to the door.Outside, Mercedes turned to look at Neal with a question on her face.“He’s coming with us,” Dario told her, “and he’s gonna stay with me.”“How nice that both of you finish treatment at the same time,” she said with a smile.Dario shook his head but didn’t answer.
Tag along at Weekend Writing Warriors as we blog hop all over the world, reading fabulous snippets from works in progress, works just published and some just about to be. You'll find various genres and blends of genres. Believe me, our participating writers have full and active imaginations!
Thanks for visiting my blog today. Comments gratefully accepted :-D
Interesting snippet ... and a broken promise :-( nicely done, intriguing.
ReplyDeleteYes, indeed. Thanks so much Susan.
DeleteOh dear, so Neal is trying to leave the program early? Not a good thing, but realistic. Another intriguing excerpt!
ReplyDeleteNice to see you, Veronica. Well, some people find it easier to hang on to old habits, at least until they're forced to really think about what they're doing ;-)
DeleteGreat 8 to build interest and the title is awesome! Can't wait to read story...
ReplyDeleteThanks very much. I'm collecting the excerpts in one post, and I always include the link to it in my WeWriWa posts.
DeleteNot good.
ReplyDeleteHi Sue Ann, thanks for coming by.
DeleteEscaping rehabilitation. Not good but so realistic (unfortunately). I'm curious to see how this turns out.
ReplyDeleteHi Emilie. It's true, some people don't make it all the way. And relapsing is far too common. Check back next week!
DeleteUh oh. Running away from rehab.
ReplyDeleteUh oh is right :-) Because we don't want a boring story, do we!
DeleteSigh. Neal, just turn your butt around son...and head back through those front doors. And Dario...some friend you are!
ReplyDelete*laff* Millie, I love it! Thanks so much for your comment.
DeleteYou guys rock! I really appreciate the comments :D
This is perfect! Me as the reader is thinking, "Oh Neal, don't F up now!" But as a writer, truly perfect. Adds some great inner conflict to his character as well as adding to the story. Well done Marcia!
ReplyDeleteHistory Sleuth's Milk Carton Murders
heehee! Thanks so much Cindy, that's so nice of you :)
DeleteDamn that guy really, if he gets back into drug he will fall back into the gang to, does he really has no better plan for his life?
ReplyDeleteHi Linda. Well he's still a little messed up. He'll get the opportunity to re-think this decision. Thanks for visiting.
Delete