Street Glass is my novel-in-progress. My tagline:
Underprivileged 18-yr-old Latino leaves street gang and befriends white,
over-privileged musicians.
While some of the plot is subject to change (draft two is a
pretty early draft, after all) the basic elements will stay, as will the
character "voices." So these excerpts will still give you a good idea
of how the plot plays out and what the characters are like. The year is 1986,
in Los Angeles, California.
Last week, a drive-by shooting
resulted in a picture window being blown out at the band's mansion. Nobody was hurt but Lennie, band
manager as well as keyboard player, is pretty angry. He leaves the room to
answer the phone, knowing it’s the security company, then we pick up in Neal's POV:
(Coyote is the gang’s leader)
Len leaned in from the doorway and pointed at Neal. “You said we were safe in the hills, how the hell did they find you?”Neal rubbed the back of his neck and said, “Coyote got Sandy’s wallet. He musta seen the address.”“Are you serious?” Len looked about to hit the roof. “Neither of you jerks thought of that?”“Judging is easy from a distance,” Sandy said. “If you’d been in the middle of all that shit, you might not have been able to think straight either.”
Sandy’s referring to being held hostage at the gang’s
hideout and being chased by them. Next week I’ll skip ahead further.
Thanks for visiting my blog today. Comments gratefully accepted :-D
The dialogue reads so "real!" Nice job.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Adrienne
http://WritingNovelsThatSell.com
Thank you!
DeleteYou bring the language and characters to life. Good eight.
ReplyDeleteThanks Charmaine. I'm feeling an itch to skip further ahead into the story, so stay tuned, you never know what else might happen!
DeleteYeah, that's some oversight! Although I understand why neither Sandy nor Neal thought about it right away. I like the reality and tension of this story - great excerpt!
ReplyDeleteI appreciate that, Veronica. I've realized that's what I like about my first draft--the characters spontaneously react to each other. I think that's where the feeling of it being real comes from. Not to dis plotting a story before writing it out, but there's something to be said for just letting your characters run wild for a bit :D
DeleteVery nice eight. The dialogue works well. Feels very real. And I hear you on letting the characters run wild. I loosely plot, then pants away when I write : )
ReplyDeleteOh yay, so there's at least two of us who do that. Thanks for the support Millie! :-D
DeleteYour dialogue reads so natural. And this scene is intense! Sandy's response is so believable. Who would think straight after what he's been through? :-)
ReplyDeleteaw thanks for that. I wasn't real fond of this snippet after I posted it, but maybe it's not so bad.
DeleteGreat dialogue, believable too. Good point on Sandy's part, and in tune with his character. We all think we know what we will do in a tense situation, but the reality is, most of us wouldn't.
ReplyDeleteHistory Sleuth's Milk Carton Murders
Hey Cindy :-) Thanks muchly. Yeah that's Sandy's point. Still, I sympathize with Len too--the house he lives in has just been raked by gunfire!
DeleteLove the 'judging is easy from a distance line'
ReplyDelete~Summer
Thanks! Nice to see you Summer.
DeleteNice bit of tension and dialogue. The stress, the mistake and the voices are all very believable (and interesting)!
ReplyDeleteWell hi, thanks for coming by. I *never* get tired of these characters. That either makes me dedicated or psycho :-D
DeleteThis book just seems so real and authentic. You've done a great job.
ReplyDeleteThat's sweet of you to say. It's taking a pile of work but if something's worth doing, we might as well put our backs into it!
DeleteLeaving a gang is not easy.
ReplyDeleteSandy has a point but that doesn't excuse the mess they are in now.
ReplyDeleteInteresting snippet. I'll have to go back and catch up on what's going on but I can say the tension feels real. Also, their dialogue is great and is what I'd expect in their situation.
ReplyDelete