Monday, January 6, 2014

Full scene from yesterday 1/5/14

I’m posting the full version of this scene because the bits posted for WeWriWa don’t show the full impact of Kazimir’s action on Devorah. Some of that doesn’t come out till later, but this is where the impact is felt most strongly. Keep in mind, this is Draft 1 with minimal editing.

Devorah is talking to the angel Adrael in the cemetery where her dad is buried. He was the local police chief, recently shot dead though the case is unsolved. As this part opens, she’s talking about trying to reach the rabbi before Kaz does. (my angels have eyes that look like mosaics or stained glass windows, hence the reference to “crazy-colored”)

I tried to push away from Adrael. “Maybe I can get there first! I have to try!”  

He kept his hold on me. “Kazimir will already be there. He cannot forgo that promise. It is better that you don’t see.”  

“I’ve got to do something, don’t you understand! I can’t stay here!”

The angel let me go. One tear slid from his crazy-colored eye. “I don’t know how he intended to do this but I’m positive you will only be hurt more if you rush to the house. You can’t help the rabbi now.”  

“I’ve got to try!”

Eyes blurring, I ran as fast as I could to my car. As I tried to get the key into the ignition, sirens started up, low at first. More joined in. Out across the cemetery, just above the tree tops, a thick line of gray smoke drifted up, tinted pink in the sunset. My hand froze. I sat staring. “You lousy bastard, how could you?” My voice sounded shrill even to my own ears.  

“Devorah,” said a soft voice from the passenger seat. “You’re in no condition to drive.” An almost-solid hand eased the key out of my limp fingers. 

"Maybe he's not gone yet, maybe I can still stop him. Give me that damn key!" 

He held it out of my reach. "Daughter, by the time you could arrive at the house, Kazimir will have made certain the rabbi's body has given up his soul and he will have taken possession of it. I'm so very sorry it came to this."

I hit the steering wheel. “No!” I repeated it, shouted it, until Adrael gently pulled me toward himself. Tears, anger, and frustration burst out of me with sobs so deep I could hardly breathe. I pounded on his shoulder.  

After a minute or so I forced myself to stop. Sobbing like a schoolgirl wouldn’t help anything and it didn’t particularly make me feel better. I moved back then rubbed my eyes. My tears stained Adrael’s t-shirt.

“Sorry, I need to get a grip on myself,” I murmured.

“No need to apologize. One of the purposes of an angel is to absorb tears.” Compassion filled his face.  

“What about fury? Because I’ve got a lot of that too.”  

“We help transform fury to love. But I don’t think you’re ready for that at the moment.”  

Now that it was full dark outside, Adrael emitted a very soft glow. I guess maybe I’m never going to wake up. My life’s just going to be this Dan-Brown-in-the-Twilight-Zone thing from now on. “You’re right, I’m not. Can I have my key? I’ve got to be sure that really is the rabbi’s house. You can come with me. In fact, I might like it if you did.”  

He smiled though it was subdued and held the key out. “I hoped you would want my company.”

As it turned out, I couldn’t get very close because of all the emergency vehicles. Once I could see flames dancing on the roof of the rabbi’s house, the urge to jump out of the car and run over there evaporated. I really couldn’t help him now. All the officers knew me by sight. They’d tell me if they’d found anybody inside. But it didn’t matter if his body was there. I scrubbed away fresh tears. I wished he was simply dead. I didn’t know how I could live with myself, knowing the truth of what really happened to him.

“I need to go home and wash up before I go to Mom’s. I may spend the night there. She’s going to need a lot of support. I have no idea why I’m telling you that.”   

Adrael held one of my hands between both of his, enveloping it in fleece-soft warmth. “Devorah, again, I’m so very sorry this happened. Trust your heart to make the right decisions. If you have need of me, simply call me. No one else will be able to see or hear me. Know that I am never far from you.”  

“You know what, that helps. Thanks.”  

He smiled again.  
Can I just say that I'm kind of hating Blogger? Extra blank lines, not enough lines, wtf?!
photo credit: <a href="">bogenfreund</a> via <a href="">photopin</a> <a href="">cc</a>


  1. Thanks for the extra context. Sometimes it is tough with only 8 sentences isn't it? Blogger can be a pain. I find sonetimes I have to look at the html view and delete the extra breaks to get rid of the extra lines.

  2. Hey Cindy! Thanks for visiting & reading.

    html view ..... yeah, that's over my head! I kind of know what html is, but don't know how to find it for regular posts. I'll have to look into that, thanks!