Saturday, May 11, 2013

Weekend Writing Warriors 5/12/13

Street Glass is my novel-in-progress. My tagline: Underprivileged 18-yr-old Latino leaves street gang and befriends white, over-privileged musicians.

While some of the plot is subject to change (draft two is a pretty early draft, after all) the basic elements will stay, as will the character "voices". So these excerpts will still give you a good idea of how the plot plays out and what the characters are like. The year is 1986, in Los Angeles, California.

All the previous excerpts are collected here.

Part I’m skipping: Razor explains that he really wants to find somebody from his past. Sandy says he should be able to get a private investigator to look into that. Eventually, Razor agrees to go with Sandy and leave the gang for good. This section is in Sandy’s POV and he’s the first one speaking.

(Razor has previously explained that if he leaves the gang and they see him again, they’ll kill him. He also mentions that he’ll have to get another car because the gang has taken the only one to go on their “job” that night.)
“Hey, if you really can’t come back, maybe you should let a few of your friends know.”

Razor shook his head. “No time, an’ they safer if they don’t know.”

“Well, is there anything you want to take, something to remind you of anybody?”

Razor seemed about to answer but didn’t; he rubbed an earlobe and kicked at something in the dirt.

His head snapped around to face the door leading to outside.

“What?” Sandy said.

“You deaf? Car’s back.”
Join us at Weekend Writing Warriors. We're a pretty friendly bunch. We'd love to see what you're working on and we hope you have fun blog hopping all over the world reading bits of what we're working on. 

Thanks for visiting my blog today. Comments gratefully accepted :-D

18 comments:

  1. Uh oh! Sure hope Razor can make a clean break of things. This is one helluva good story, Marcia and I'm looking forward to the next instalment.

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    1. Thanks so much Debbie! Razor might want a clean break too, but I can't let him off that easy ;-)

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  2. I love the way you captured the moment of indecision in this snippet. Compelling snippet!

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    1. Nice of you to say, Jess. We pick up the pace after this.

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  3. I really enjoy how much we get to find out about your characters through their dialogue and speech. That's not an easy thing to do.

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    1. Why thank you :-) For some reason it's much easier for me to do that with Razor than with Sandy, but I'm working on it.

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  4. What do you mean you pick up the pace after this? Heck, I think you did that already as this just adds to the high tension of last week. When I read the last line I thought, oh crap. Great build up here. Can't wait to see what happens next week!

    History Sleuth's Writing mysteries

    Ps.. No mine is not published yet, I'm editing. But thanks for asking.

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    1. heehee! I really appreciate that.

      I'm waiting for that book of yours, woman :-D

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  5. Uh oh, the tension just ratcheted up even more with that last bit - excellent excerpt! This story keeps me on the edge of my seat...

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  6. Kind of you, Veronica. Previous critiquers have helped me improve this part.

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  7. He better move quickly if he's leaving now. Probably no time to grab any mementos. Excellent tension.

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  8. Uh oh. Not good. Nicely done. My heart dropped when he said that last line.

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  9. sounds like could be a good piece of contemporary sociology with a positive message. Like his mannerisms - make sure it's not preachy though

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  10. This was a tense moment! When I read it, I worried that the gang was going to get back in time to stop Sandy and Razor from escaping. :-)

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  11. Oh crap! I wonder how they are going to handle the gang coming back.

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  12. You guys are all so nice :-D Thanks so much.

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  13. Thanks for the comment on my poetry. But WWW is not a good fit. I’ll be participating with a story this week

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  14. And there goes their opportunity to leave, doesn't it?

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