Sunday, July 8, 2012

Six Sentence Sunday #11

Welcome! The scene I'm using for SSS is not currently intended to be included in my WIP, but is something I'm having a lot of fun with. Six Sentence Sunday is a blast: sign up here, make sure your six sentences are posted by Sunday morning, and then tour the list of other SSSers and see how creative everybody is!

My snippet this week picks up from last week, when Neal's girlfriend April said she would marry him, on one condition.
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What was she trying to do to him in front of fifty thousand people? Still holding the ring, he dropped his hand but she reached out and held it in both of hers.

He swallowed, cleared his throat and said, “A condition like I have to walk over hot coals? Aren’t I doing that right now?”

Faint laughter from the crowd surprised him. He’d zoned out trying to figure what April was up to.
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To catch up with the scene, click on the Six Sentence Sunday tag in this post and you'll see how Neal got to this point.
I'm still looking for a crit partner/beta reader or two. My muse is running away with this story and she's not listening to me when I holler "whoa!" so maybe she'll listen to somebody else. If you can help me cut the unnecessary parts with a minimum of blood loss (mine, because I've poured so much of it into the story!) I promise, you will be blessed for seven lifetimes.
Thanks to everyone who stops by today. I do appreciate it.


  1. Oh crikey, he's still waiting for an answer? This is getting really edgy, poor man.

  2. Wonderful, wonderful tension, Marcia!

    The poor fella is so emotionally beaten, and his insecurities are pouring out.

    That girl! lol...whatever her condition is, its good for Neal (I'm guessing :-))

    Great six :-)

  3. Eek! I still want to know what the condition is. My heart is pounding.

  4. Another cliffhanger? Hmmmm....if it wasn't so good I'd have to consider not reading any more.

  5. Thanks for sticking with me, guys :) If the snippets were read one after the other without a week in between, they wouldn't seem so drawn out. I've got next week's excerpt ready to go, and she tells him exactly what the condition is. Will it make Neal happy, or not??

  6. Poor Neal! Love his humor here :) Tension-filled 6, for sure! Can't wait to see next week what happens!