Sunday, March 3, 2013

Weekend Writing Warriors 3/03/13

Street Glass is my novel-in-progress. My tagline: Underprivileged 18-yr-old Latino leaves street gang and befriends white, over-privileged musicians.

While some of the plot is subject to change (draft two is a pretty early draft, after all) the basic elements will stay, as will the character "voices". So these excerpts will still give you a good idea of how the plot plays out and what the characters are like. The year is 1986, in Los Angeles, California.

All the previous excerpts are collected here.

There is swearing in today's snippet!

 
Following what happened last Sunday, I’ve skipped most of the argument the guys in the band get into. Suffice to say that Eric—guitarist, lead vocalist, and frontman—has accused Sandy and Lennie of always backing each other up because they’re best friends, and shove his opinions aside. Then Eric says the band owes him. For Sandy, drummer and co-founder of the band with Lennie, that’s just too much. We pick up with Sandy’s reaction, in his POV (this is the first time readers see references to Eric’s and Sandy’s families). 
“What shit! You came to us begging to get away from a family of religious fanatics who told you playing rock music would damn you to hell, so I think you should get off your high horse.”

Eric leaned closer to Sandy and growled, “At least nobody in my family cut my face in a drunken rage!”

Of all the fucking things to say. Sandy’s muscles tensed. “You do realize you’re talking to somebody who hits things for a living?”

“Somebody who can’t handle a drunken woman is no match for me.”

“You fucking asshole!” Sandy shouted.
For more excerpts from a wide and wonderful variety of stories, visit Weekend Writing Warriors. We have fun blog hopping all over the world, and we hope you'll come along!

Thanks for visiting my blog today. Comments gratefully accepted :-D

28 comments:

  1. The dialogue here is good, it's saturated in each characters voice. Thank you for sharing and I'll be checking out this weekend warrior thing. :)

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    1. Oh great, we'd love to have you Summer :D

      I have a lot of fun with these characters. Nice of you to stop by.

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  2. I like the dialogue too. I can just see them swearing at each other.

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    1. Cool, I love it when readers say they get a clear visual!

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  3. Intense! "“You do realize you’re talking to somebody who hits things for a living?” Go Sandy!!

    Eric can be such a jerk!

    Nice snippet, Marcia! :-)

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    1. heehee! Thanks. Yes, Eric has some diva issues, though in his defense he's not *always* like that. When he is, that's the stuff of stories!

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  4. Very real and gritty. Can't wait to read what happens next!

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    1. I appreciate you coming by Debbie. The guys in the band used to be pretty nice to everybody, including each other -- I like them better now that I've discovered their mean sides!

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  5. Wow! You've captured the tension perfectly. I love, "you're talking to someone who hits things for a living..." What a wonderful intimidation line!

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    1. Thanks. I actually stole that line from myself. Sandy originally said it to somebody else in a different scene that I've since dropped, but I like how it fits here.

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  6. Emotions are running high in this tense snippet!

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    1. Yup. I'm thinking of tweaking what happens after this part so that tension doesn't dissipate too quickly ;-)

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  7. Your friends always know the most sensitive places to hit in a fight with words - excellent excerpt!

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    1. Yes! This scene was originally written tamer, but a critiquer suggested I needed a better reason for Sandy's eventual reaction at the end of this scene, and suggested that I make the argument with Eric into something personal.

      Critiquers sometimes make all the difference between a so-so scene and a powerful one.

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  8. I think Debbie hit the nail on the head calling your excerpt gritty. Intense. I like the way the explicit language adds to the immincence of the situation. Very nicely done.

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    1. Oh I'm so glad to hear you say that. Originally these characters didn't have much of that grittiness; I resisted making them less nice but it's definitely improved the story.

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  9. I'm still jealous of this title. I love all the images Street Glass conjures. This is a great, intense scene and I think you used the swearing perfectly. You should be very proud of it.

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    1. aww thanks so very much, that's humbling and wonderful :)

      The title comes from a poem one of the characters wrote. He tells me he had that "I think something wants to get written" feeling and it was set free when a Rod Stewart song came on the radio. :)

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  10. This is awesome! I never even thought of the fact that drummers hit things for a living.

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    1. Thanks Kate. Yes indeed, keep that in mind next time you run into one!

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  11. I think this is the first time I've stopped here. I love it! Gotta love rock bands and gotta love people who can nail it on the head with the right words. Way to go. I can't wait to read more.

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    1. Well hi, nice that you came by! Thanks for the encouragement, it's always appreciated.

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  12. Oh drama. Sounds like a fist fight brewing ;)

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    1. Drama indeed. They are rock stars, after all ;-)

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  13. It made me think of in high school, or a bar when someone screams, "Fight! Fight!" and everybody comes running to watch. I think the fists are going to be fling if someone doesn't step in. Great scene.

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    1. lol! Pretty good analogy; in fiction, everybody watches too :D

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  14. Of course friends say the cruelest things during a fight. I hope it's nothing they can't forgive - and forget - later once they've cooled down.

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    1. Hi ED! Well. rock stars are volatile you know, which is good for writers :)

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