Saturday, June 7, 2014

Weekend Writing Warriors: 6/8/14 Someday I'll make you pay



Hello again, peeps. Watching Stanley Cup Finals 2014 but taking time between periods to give you my current excerpt for Weekend Writing Warriors. Keep in mind, this is all Draft 1. I’m in the process of revamping the plot so some of these scenes will not stay, but I have a feeling some version of this scene will. Collected excerpts for this story are here.

Set-up for this scene: Kazimir has set up a trap for the demon Thaumiel. Devorah knows about it but didn’t expect to find Kaz in a frightening demon form she’s never seen before. Kaz enticed Devorah to join the group of demons called Crossers by promising to help her find out who is ultimately responsible for her father’s death; here, Kaz has Thaumiel caught in fire chains, and Thaumiel has just said something unexpected regarding Devorah’s dad. It’s clear to her that Thaumiel knows something. Kaz, however, was about to destroy Thaumiel so Devorah had to throw herself against him, knocking Kaz off balance. Some unhappy words are exchanged and Devorah realizes she cannot reason with Kaz while he’s in demon form. 

Somewhere under that horrid demon skin was a human soul, if only I could reach it.  “Kaz. You promised me I’d get answers. I’ll never trust you again if you break that promise.  I nearly got dragged into hell twice while helping you, and I don’t expect to be thanked by having a sacred promise broken.” My voice shook. If he brushed me aside, somehow, someday, I’d make him pay. 

I’m liking my girl Devorah. She does not take stuff laying down! Hope you guys are enjoying the WeWriWa blog hop. I can’t wait to get to it myself, to find out what everybody’s working on J  

Do you guys have any version of a local food fest? Here we have Taste of Buffalo, billed as the largest two-day food festival in the U.S. I’m planning to go to search for more Kahlua gelato—if you’ve never had it, you are seriously missing the best thing since people first discovered how to make ice by themselves!

10 comments:

  1. Typical demon! Kill first, ask questions later...oops :)

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  2. I like how stubborn and determined your heroine is! I hope she gets her answers. Excellent excerpt. I'm glad you're continuing with this story (so we can read it LOL).

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  3. I agree with every thing both botanist and Veronica already said, and I want to add that I think you're writing voice is getting stronger. Lovely snippet.

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  4. I like Devorah, she is strong-willed and determined. And I have a feeling that even in demon form, Kaz will find he cannot dominate her.
    (...and wasn't last night's SC game nail-biting?)

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  5. Strong snippet. I feel her determination to find answers and not let hm get in her way.

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  6. I think she's getting more than a little annoyed with him.

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  7. Nice job writing this snippet. She has strength of conviction! Excellent 8, Marcia!

    I think Pgh has a really big food festival, but I've never been. We are such a melting pot of ethnicity, it doesn't matter what festival you go to in small communities, they so many great foods for sale. Ford City is my fave. Their Slovak food booths are to die for. A small town, but still managed to support 3 catholic churches at one time, each with a different ethnic group. The local Diocese combined (forced) them into one not too too many years ago. That one is over the 4th of July. Tangent. :-) Your snippet is wonderful this week. :-)

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  8. Atta girl, you tell that Demon off! And he'd damn well better listen!

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  9. Thanks so much, everybody. Sorry I'm late returning visits; I've got less time for fun stuff than I expected, but I *will* visit :) As for my story, Devorah does not like people to take advantage of her trust in them. I think Kaz can expect a little ass-kicking :)

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  10. When will I learn not to place comments from my ipad. Sigh.......

    Tossing the sacred promise card ought to work. I like the character of Devorah. She's a spunky gal. I think she is catching on to the demon stuff despite being new to all of it. The conflict is great!
    History Sleuth's Milk Carton Murders

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