While some of the plot is subject to change (draft two is a pretty early draft, after all) the basic elements will stay, as will the character "voices". So these excerpts will still give you a good idea of how the plot plays out and what the characters are like. The year is 1986, in Los Angeles, California.
All the previous excerpts are
collected here.
Last week, the guy who nabbed Sandy outside of an alley and cuffed
his hands behind his back began to taunt him. He forced a terrified Sandy to
his knees and said “Beg me not to kill you.” Sandy sputters something but doesn’t
know if it’s what the thug wants. We pick up in Sandy’s POV.
For more excerpts from a wide and wonderful variety of stories, visit Weekend Writing Warriors. We have fun blog hopping all over the world, and we hope you'll come along!Damn, his voice sounded weak.The guy laughed. “You as scared as you sound?”He sprang in front of Sandy and grabbed a fistful of Sandy’s t-shirt. He leaned in close to Sandy’s face. Curly dark hair seemed to fly everywhere but didn’t hide the hatred burning in his eyes.“My God,” Sandy whispered. “You’re just a teenager.”
Thanks for visiting my blog today. Comments gratefully accepted :-D
So young and so hateful! Wonderful character portrayal, Marcia! Hope nothing horrible happens to Sandy.
ReplyDeleteYeah he was pretty awful in the beginning :D In the full chapter, it's easier to see that he's acting this way with Sandy because he just got beat up himself. Hopefully readers will sympathize with Razor when they realize he's angry because he feels trapped.
DeleteThanks for visiting.
A very intense encounter!
ReplyDeleteThanks Veronica :)
DeleteGreat snippet. The dialogue is well done I can get a sense of the main character pov and a sense of the other person. Well done.
ReplyDeleteOne thought though- you use the word 'sprang' and what i picture was him jumping over to the front of Sandy, but I don't think that was your intention- maybe try a different word?
~Summer
My 8
Possibly. I'm only on draft 2 with the novel so focus on word choice is yet to come - should I be scared? lol!
DeleteSuper intense! Great excerpt.
ReplyDelete'preciate it, Elaine.
DeleteDude, that comment is NOT going to help. Nobody likes to be judged because of their age. I don't think Razor's really going to hurt him though.
ReplyDeleteGreat eight, Marcia!
laff! Kate you're right, although Razor's got bigger concerns than being judged by his age. Nice to see you :)
DeleteIntense scene. You have captured the characters perfectly.
ReplyDeleteReworked it a few times, but I kind of like it now. Thanks, Paula.
DeleteThat was a good spontaneous reaction. His first thought. Well done.
ReplyDeleteI feel you on the spam too, I don't mind filling it in on everybody's blog either. I find my WordPress blog to be 100 times worse!
PS.. I see you are from western NY too!
Well thanks :)
DeleteWNY yeah, I got away once but darn, here I am again!
I love how you added the revelation at the end. Scary, high-tension snippet!
ReplyDeleteThanks. The scene has gone through a bunch of revisions but I like it a lot now.
Delete