Sunday
Sunday, so good to me . . . Why? Because that’s the day when I get to curl
up on the couch with a whole bunch of fabulous story excerpts! How? Through WeWriWa, of course! (I’ll admit that with
all this horrid winter weather, I’ve been California dreaming, too.)
Collected excerpts for this story
are here.
Last week, we left Devorah face to
face with a demon made of blackness and eyes of fire, reaching toward her. To
make up for the times I ran to 9 or 10 sentences, today I’ve got 7 :-)
As a reminder, this story is still in Draft One, tentatively titled Night Shift. It will probably go through several versions by the time I consider it “done” but the basic ideas and character personalities will stay. I’m having a lot of fun with this one, I hope you’re enjoying these excerpts :-DArms locked around me from behind, the long sleeves sky blue. “I deny you.” Adrael’s voice was barely above a whisper yet clear as a bell.I shrank against him. The dark hand paused but did not pull back. The eyes flared and turned deep red. I wanted to look away — tried to — but couldn’t.
Scary. Good description. Great8, er, 7 ;)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Chelle! I'm looking forward to filling this scene out a bit more.
DeleteI can just picture those flaring red eyes. Intense and intriguing!
ReplyDeleteHey Debbie! Thanks so much. I wish I could draw the way I picture the scene, it scares *me*!
DeleteVery intense. This is my favorite>“I deny you.” Adrael’s voice was barely above a whisper yet clear as a bell.
ReplyDeleteVery powerful moment. Well done.
ReplyDeleteMakes it sound like humans are helpless participants in the war between angels and demons.
ReplyDeleteOh wow. Another very intense moment. Nice 8. :)
ReplyDeleteVery intense, Marcia.
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's the limited snippet, but I'm a bit confused. Is there a third person wearing a sky blue shirt who has grasped her from behind? Or, did Adrael spin her after he grasped her? I'm getting a goofy visual (probably just me). I think it's because she was grasped from behind but she's looking at his red, flaring eyes. Hmm, maybe I need to step away from the computer lol. In any case, it is full of tension and you did a great job writing that in. :-)
Dramatic for sure! An intense snippet from this engrossing story...
ReplyDeleteI had the same 'who are the players' moment as Teresa, but I that's the limitation of a snippet.
ReplyDeleteThe visual of the bad guy is really striking, though. Scary eyes!
Man, I think I just shite meself! Yikes. That was completely clear to me. Adrael stepped up behind her and wrapped his arms around her and told the demon to piss off! Right? She saw Adrael's blue sleeves. The demon, however, isn't easily dissuaded.
ReplyDelete"I deny you" doesn't seem to be enough. I wonder if Adrael knows something else to get ride of the demon.
ReplyDelete