Onstage in front of several thousand people, Neal has done something rather unlike him: he’s gotten down on one knee and asked his girlfriend April to marry him. He’s terrified but determined to keep her.
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Her eyes popped open wide. She looked from him to the ring and back. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he was aware of the crowd clapping and cheering.
Both of his hands went cold. He blinked up at her, wondering if the pounding in his ears was something anybody else could hear. At least he wouldn’t drop the mic because he pretty much had a death grip on it.
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Tight sentences. Thank you for sharing. I loved the death grip on the mic. LOL
ReplyDeleteThanks Summer. Even though I wasn't planning to include this scene in my WIP, I may have to find a way to do it.
ReplyDeleteAww, I feel bad for him!
ReplyDeleteOh, please include it, Owllady. It is full of atmosphere. And I am on edge for Neal...
ReplyDeleteThe death grip, cold hands, pounding in his ears...and his uncertainty.
Oh my, he's so vulnerable at this moment. Bared his soul in front of a lot of people.
Is this near the beginning of the book?
Actually Teresa it would be at or near the end. One of the reasons Neal's so nervous about committing to April is that his previous girlfriend died in a fire and he's afraid of somehow losing April too. I think I have to cut some of the earlier stuff though...too long of a MS...ugh.
DeleteLOL I love the description of him holding the mic. Great six, and I want to know what her response is. :)
ReplyDeletePoor guy. Hope she answers him before he passes out! Great job of ratcheting up the tension.
ReplyDeleteOh, GOD, we *still* don't know her answer! Great stretching of tension, 6 sentences is to dang few...
ReplyDelete*pumps fist* I am so jazzed that you guys GET this! Holy cow, I may have to add more to the scene to stretch it out for SSS!
ReplyDelete