Letter Go

“Drumbeats” by Kevin J. Anderson and Neil Peart

2012-02-04T09:56:00.000-05:00

I confess, this is the first work of Anderson’s I’ve read. Maybe his novels are better. This short story has potential but gave me the feeling that the authors had a word limit so some things were left simplified.

As a Rush fan, I believe the bulk of this story was written by Anderson. I read part of one non-fiction book that Neil wrote and even that much reflected Neil’s affinity for detail. About his lyrics, I've always felt any amibiguity was there purposely, so listeners could easily adapt songs to their own lives. Parts of “Drumbeats” strike me as timid writing. The author could have been more imaginative or redolent, but decided to take the easy way out.

And frankly, what disappoints me just as much is Neil’s afterword. He spends far too much time singing Anderson’s praises (if I may crack a pun). Even if Anderson’s novels are considered successful, maybe not all his works are gems. A little backstory on how they started corresponding is fine and even interesting, but honestly, I wound up feeling all that “Kevin is really, really wonderful” stuff was either forced or Neil felt he owed Anderson something for being a Rush fan.

Because my Kindle tells me how far along I am by percentages rather than page numbers, I can tell you that that the story ended 53% of the way through the download. The rest was Neil’s afterword and synopses of Anderson’s other books. So while I only paid $2.99, there wasn’t much actual story.

On the plus side, the story’s big twist did surprise me. It is a bit creepy but in a good way. I’d definitely like to see the idea expanded, provided a longer story was better written. There were spots where the setting and characters came to life. With more effective showing, this could be a great story.

Then I found out that Sammy Hagar has a book out, and there went $12.99. I’ve read the foreword by Michael Anthony and the first few pages of chapter one. I suspect Sammy made use of his imagination when talking about his childhood, but one wouldn’t really expect much different. I’ll have a review of his Red: My Uncensored Life in Rock next week or the week after.

Writing and forcing are like oil and water

2012-01-28T11:09:00.000-05:00

One of my Christmas 2011 gifts was a book—yay!—called Writers Workshop in a Book: The Squaw Valley Community of Writers on the Art of Fiction. (edited by Alan Cheuse and Lisa Alvarez) As you might guess, it’s a compilation of essays; some nearly put me to sleep and others that had me saying “yes! I know exactly what you’re saying!”

I’m 90% of the way through the book and my favorite essay so far is by Lynn Freed called “On False Starts: How Not to Begin a Novel When You Don’t Have One to Write.” What an awesome title! It speaks directly to one of the things I sometimes mention when I give critiques. Namely, when you get seriously stuck while writing a sentence or a paragraph, you need to pay attention to the fact that nothing seems to complete the passage. For myself, I’ve found that if I force something to go where I think something needs to be, it’s usually a round peg stuffed into a square hole.

Lynn’s essay extends that thought logically. If getting stuck within a novel is your inner editor’s way of saying that nothing further needs to be added, what’s the lesson when you get stuck before you’ve written the first word?

I bet you can guess, but I’ll explain in case you have too many characters talking to you to think straight. (Even that’s a good problem to have.) When saying to yourself, “I want to write a novel” or maybe “I’m gonna sit down and crank out that short story”, you’ve got to be sure you have something to say.

Not all works of fiction need to be grand pieces of insightful and pensive material; there’s a place for stories that simply entertain us. Either way, you need some idea of what story to tell. Lynn describes two years of writing the beginning of a novel. She gifts us with this eloquent literary shoulder-shrug: “Several times, I threw the book out and decided that that was it, I would not willingly and knowingly play Sisyphus with fiction.”

I love her honesty. I think that’s the secondary message of her essay. As writers of fiction, we are driven to weave wonderful lies. It can be hard to know when to face the truth. It’s a cruel and inhuman thing to admit to ourselves that we just don’t know what to write about; or we don’t have any idea what this character wants or what their personality might make them do; or how the hell to wrap up that damn story at last.

When spinning cloth is the most important thing in the world, you’re upset and scared when you reach for more thread and the spool is empty. But being a writer is about having blind faith. When you stop frantically grasping empty spools, and learn to wait, you’ll find that one by one the spools become full again.

While you’re waiting, smell the roses. Practice writing metaphors J

Our stories may be our children, but we don't always know what's best for them

2012-01-21T11:49:00.000-05:00

Critiquers and fellow writers are often heard to remark: “These ideas are just for you to kick around, because this is your story and you know best what direction it should go in.” I disagree.

Well, sometimes I disagree. Thing is, as inexperienced and/or unpublished writers, we ask for critiques because we want help with our work. If several readers comment that the mystery seemed to be solved easily, or the main character’s motivation to uproot her family and move everybody to Tibet seemed weak, that means something. It isn’t only editors who can pick up an “off” vibe.

It’s nice that people can be polite enough to say they don’t want to change your work. Let’s face it, though: sometimes that’s exactly what it needs. As the author, we’re usually too involved with our work to see all the weak parts and/or how to fix them. Somebody coming into your project cold, without the emotional attachments that you have, is more able to see reality.

In my own WIP, I know the plot needs help. That’s why I’m trying to hash out an outline before delving into the thing too far. There are plenty of things I’m not aware of that others are able to spot. In my first couple of drafts, critters told me that Sandy was just too nice; where was his motive for wanting to help a gangbanger who’d just tried to kill him?

Well says I, I did show how Sandy spent a few hours with this gangbanger, then realized the guy was a just a young dude who never had positive role models. Wouldn’t anybody want to help someone living by their wits on the street?

—Uh, no. Truthfully, most people would have a very different reaction. It took me a while to come around, but I did realize that Sandy needed better motivation. I’d been trying to make a story out of basic scenes that were three decades old. Youthful optimism gave me tons of scenes that I fell so in love with, I didn’t see that they couldn’t hold water in a serious story. The idea of changing the characters and therefore, what they did, was like changing my own past.

I cried and carried on about it, then picked myself up and asked: Do you want to make this a marketable story? Yes? Then fix it.

Sure we need a basic, solid idea to build on. Publishers and agents don’t agree to take on a work unless it has potential and intrinsic value. If the writer is unpublished up to that point, the work is going to need revision. Plain and simple. Indie-published stories that are not *superbly edited* will not sell as well as they could.

Any number of things may wind up changed from the manuscript we submitted. Because we don’t always know best. Even many-times-published authors get rejected, and their accepted manuscripts don’t go to the printer without spending time with an editor.

Not every suggestion from critiquers needs to be taken, but you want readers to like your stuff, right? Their gut feelings are important. You don’t have to throw out previous versions, but don’t scoff when the people you asked for their opinion give it to you. If you’re not ready to make changes, drop me a line when you win a literary award for “didn’t need any editorial help.”

Scene, Sandy and Sophie recording, pt 7

2012-01-14T11:16:00.000-05:00

This scene takes place somewhere in the middle of Street Glass, so the year would be '89 or '90. As currently written, this scene is not intended to be included in the novel. Its purpose is to practice writing, explore the earliest beginnings of Sandy and Sophie’s relationship, explore a bit of her relationship with Adam, and have some fun that wouldn’t be appropriate for the novel. As everything is in this novel, the scene is in close third POV.

Background: Adam and Sophie are members of the rock/pop band Xenith. Sophie has also started the band Obsession to showcase her solo work; she’s active in both bands. She and Adam went through a very public and acrimonious breakup of their romantic relationship a few years prior, though they’ve continued to play in Xenith.

The term “track” is sometimes used here as a synonym for the verb “record.” The term “cans” is used as a synonym for “headset.” Lennie is producer as well as engineer for Sandy’s song, with only Neal assisting him; that’s why I don’t mention anyone else. The term “studio” can be a bit confusing. Used here, it refers to the specific room that the artist stands in to sing or play, not a building. If anything else confuses you, drop me a comment.
________________________
Sophie glanced at the ceiling and her lips thinned into a line. She hung the headset on the mic stand hook.

“He just can’t give you a simple compliment,” Sandy said, hanging up his own cans.

“He’s said it before. He’s such a—whatever. You wrote a beautiful song. How did you come up with that rhythm?”

“I was thinking about how the ocean creeps up and slides back, and keeps going up and down. I just don’t get how the two of you can work together.”

A tired smile touched her mouth. “Well, we’re both too stubborn to quit Xenith. Without the outlet Obsession gives me, I might have strangled him ages ago. Honey, if you want help with lyrics or music, come over to my place sometime. I like to keep busy.”

Maybe he’d died and gone to heaven. “Really? You mean it?”

“Sure. If Adam knows I’ve got a friend over, he’ll leave me alone. Mostly though, it’s very satisfying to help somebody do something they didn’t think they could. I’ll leave you my private number and you let me know.”

“Damn! I’d love that. I’ve got a bunch of stuff that’s been giving me headaches for months. You know, all you have to do—never mind. I’ve got some tracking coming up but as soon as that’s done, I’ll call you.” All you have to do is tell Adam not to come over, or just don’t let him in. But you guys must have one hell of a complicated relationship and I don’t want to get in the middle of it.

They went into the control room. Lennie’s hands flew over the board. “Listen to this, everybody.”

He played the whole track with a touch of reverb added to Sophie’s vocal. That was the proverbial frosting on the cake. Sandy nodded along as he listened. A shiver ran up his spine. He grinned. It might be the first of his songs to go gold.

Sophie asked for some paper and didn’t seem to listen as Lennie and Neal enthused about the song. She waited until everybody was saying goodbye to slip Sandy the paper with her number.

Adam must have seen though. On his way out, he winked at Sandy and said, “Another one bites the dust.”

Scene, Sandy and Sophie recording, pt 6

2012-01-07T11:50:00.002-05:00

This scene takes place somewhere in the middle of Street Glass, so the year would be '89 or '90. As currently written, this scene is not intended to be included in the novel. Its purpose is to practice writing, explore the earliest beginnings of Sandy and Sophie’s relationship, explore a bit of her relationship with Adam, and have some fun that wouldn’t be appropriate for the novel. As everything is in this novel, the scene is in close third POV.

Background: Adam and Sophie are members of the rock/pop band Xenith. Sophie has also started the band Obsession to showcase her solo work; she’s active in both bands. She and Adam went through a very public and acrimonious breakup of their romantic relationship a few years prior, though they’ve continued to play in Xenith.

The term “track” is sometimes used here as a synonym for the verb “record.” The term “cans” is used as a synonym for “headset.” Lennie is producer as well as engineer for Sandy’s song, with only Neal assisting him; that’s why I don’t mention anyone else. The term “studio” can be a bit confusing. Used here, it refers to the specific room that the artist stands in to sing or play, not a building. If anything else confuses you, drop me a comment.
___________

She took her headset off, peered at Sandy then looked down again. “You did great.”

“Me? Oh my God, Sophie! You just elevated ‘Summernight’ to something holy! I had no idea it could sound like that.”

“I always do live tracking with Obsession, I think the vocals are better that way. But you did the work here. You just needed a little encouragement.”

Sandy put his headset back on, gestured at her to listen in her own and waited till she raised one of the cans to her ear. Pressing the button on the mic, he toward the control room window. “Tell her she turned this into something that belongs in a church.”

“He’s right,” Lennie said. “I’ve heard Sandy do the vocals several ways and nothing comes close to this. This one’s a hit. It’s too bad we didn’t film you guys. A blind man could’ve seen the electricity between you.”

“Don’t sell him short,” she said. “I wouldn’t have been any help if he hadn’t been capable of singing like that anyway.”

Standing beside Lennie, Adam leaned toward the mic. "You're a freak and a genius and you know it. You'd really have something if you'd control the freak part."

[to be continued in one more part]

Scene, Sandy and Sophie recording, pt 5

2011-12-31T10:54:00.000-05:00

"writing what you know" the painless way

2011-12-24T12:07:00.000-05:00

We’ve all heard the admonishment “write what you know”. That’s how the best stuff gets written, even in fiction, right? Never mind that inexperienced writers of sci fi and fantasy don’t get much help with applying that decree. My novel is about a guy who starts out in a street gang in Los Angeles then becomes involved with a rock band. I didn’t know facts about those things; I wasn’t even sure I knew much about guys, though that can be a problem no matter how much experience is involved.

I was a little worried about it, but the story was intended to focus on character interaction. The music part was supposed to be in the background. Ha!

A curious thing happened, gradually. I did believe that the better you know your characters, the better your story will be. When you know what really makes them tick, they come alive not just for you but for readers. Writing a convincing gangbanger meant trying to find out what that life was like—in reality, not assumptions.

No, I didn’t prowl the streets. I read. Mind you, I needed info about the lifestyle in a very particular place and time, and I discovered that in fact, not everything is on the internet. A freaking lot of stuff is, but not everything. And people can be willing to tell you that what you’ve written is “off” but not offer to help with facts. So that part is the weaker area of my research. But I haven’t given up.

Sandy is a musician in a major rock band. Okay, specifics on how high-profile, high-income folks live is also a bit of a weak spot, but I was able to find info on the music business. Music has always been the soundtrack to my life and what keeps my heart beating. So I’ve paid attention over the years to interviews. Back when roadies still set up the stage when the audience took their seats, I’d always bring binoculars and study what was happening onstage. During a show, I’d watch performers when the spotlight moved *off* them.

Everyplace I thought I might read, hear or see something interesting, I paid attention, and often picked up a tidbit or two.

Then I realized that I couldn’t keep *everything* about the music business in the background. Neal roadies for Sylvyr Star and that couldn’t be glossed over. People have written books for public consumption about how to be a roadie! I couldn’t function without the internet. Found a documentary that follows Rush’s road crew on tour.

And that’s how writing what I love turned into writing what I know. Find the thing that you can honestly say is your reason for living, and no matter what you have to do to turn it into a book, it won’t be work. Love your subject and you’ll love research. I can prove it J

Scene, Sandy and Sophie recording, pt 4

2011-12-17T17:00:00.001-05:00

Scene, Sandy and Sophie recording, pt 3

2011-12-11T12:13:00.000-05:00

This scene takes places somewhere in the middle of Street Glass, so the year would be '89 or '90. As currently written, this scene is not intended to be included in the novel. Its purpose is to practice writing, explore the earliest beginnings of Sandy and Sophie’s relationship, explore a bit of her relationship with Adam, and have some fun that wouldn’t be appropriate for the novel. As everything is in this novel, the scene is in close third POV.

The term “track” is sometimes used here as a synonym for the verb “record.” The term “cans” is used as a synonym for “headset.” Lennie is producer as well as engineer for Sandy’s song, with only Neal assisting him; that’s why I don’t mention anyone else. The term “studio” can be a bit confusing. Used here, it refers to the specific room that the artist stands in to sing or play, not a building. If anything else confuses you, drop me a comment.
______________________
Sandy held the studio door open for Sophie. “I don’t need the lead sheets if you want to keep them with you.”

“Good. And if at any time you want to do something different, you just interrupt me.”

Neal followed close behind with another mic and headset. “This is the type of mic you prefer, yeah?”

She glanced at it then took a second look. “Yes, hon. That’s thoughtful of you.” She smiled before moving away.

He shot a grin at her though she didn’t see.

Sandy gestured for him to set the equipment up. It’s not thoughtful, Adam would’ve told him.

She told Sandy to stand at his mic then seemed to be gauging distance to some nearby spot. “Reach your hand out and touch my fingertips.” With her warm fingers just touching his, she backed up until their arms were completely outstretched. “This is where my mic has to go.”

“That seems pretty close,” Neal said.

“Don’t question the judgment of a seasoned artist,” Sandy said.

Neal scowled at him.

Sophie looked around the studio. “You haven’t got any ambiance here. That might have something to do with the problem. I always have candlelight and a bunch of beautiful things around the room, but we can at least cut the lighting here.”

“You have lit candles in the studio?” Sandy asked, picking up his headset.

“Sure. Full candelabras, four feet tall, each holding a dozen tapers. Usually I have incense too. Me and the girls dress up—well never mind. I’m sorry, you’re Neal? I need the lights lowered by half.”

“Yes ma’am. By half? Isn’t—never mind.”

He continued setting up her mic as she read over the lead sheets. At times she sang in a whisper. She took the headset from Neal without raising her gaze. He shifted his weight and looked over the new setup.

“Done?” Sandy said. “Or are you gonna do this too?”

Neal shrugged and went out. Sophie tried the lyrics as she read, her voice barely audible. She had the melody, all right. She pressed the button on the mic. “Thanks for dimming the lights. Can I have the music while I read this? Send it to Sandy too. I want him to get into the right headspace. I know you want to get levels on me, so let me hear this first and then I’ll run through it with Sandy.” She listened and read, continuing to sing to herself.

Sandy listened to the music in one ear so he could also hear Sophie. Maybe the song had been waiting for a woman’s touch. And maybe dimming the lights was a good idea. He’d been awfully nervous when she came into the studio with him, but now he breathed easier.

“Okay,” she said at the end. “Let’s do this. It’s not just for getting levels on my mic, it’s also so we can get a feel for how our voices blend. I’m going to stick to doing harmony. You look right at me while you sing, got it? You reach as far as you can for what you want, and then you reach further. You’ll see what I mean.”

The music started again and Sandy did as she told him. Her eyes held him. She didn’t look down at the words often but didn’t make any mistakes. A subtle electricity built up as the song carried on; even with her mysterious brown eyes fixed on him, the words and emotion flowed out of him easily. During the last half minute, while the chiming Rickenbacker faded into delicate piano, he couldn’t look away from her gaze. A sense of anticipation came over him.

[to be continued]

Scene, Sandy and Sophie recording, pt 2

2011-12-04T11:21:00.001-05:00

This scene takes places somewhere in the middle of Street Glass, so the year would be '89 or '90. As currently written, this scene is not intended to be included in the novel. Its purpose is to practice writing, explore the earliest beginnings of Sandy and Sophie’s relationship, explore a bit of her relationship with Adam, and have some fun that wouldn’t be appropriate for the novel. As everything is in this novel, the scene is in close third POV.

Background: Adam and Sophie are members of the rock/pop band Xenith. Sophie has also started the band Obsession to showcase her solo work; she’s active in both bands. She and Adam went through a very public and acrimonious breakup of their romantic relationship a few years prior, though they’ve continued to play in Xenith.

The term “track” is sometimes used here as a synonym for the verb “record.” The term “cans” is used as a synonym for “headset.” Lennie is producer as well as engineer for Sandy’s song, with only Neal assisting him; that’s why I don’t mention anyone else. The term “studio” can be a bit confusing. Used here, it refers to the specific room that the artist stands in to sing or play, not a building. If anything else confuses you, drop me a comment.
_______________________

Sandy leaned against the wall. Maybe he shouldn’t get mixed up in whatever weird thing they had going on, even from the sidelines. Still, she had a reputation for getting what she wanted out of studio sessions. He, on the other hand, had spent a ridiculous amount of time on one track.

Lennie and Neal both leaned toward her with barely concealed desperation on their faces.

Sophie looked a little uncomfortable. “I feel like this is infringing on your work, but would you like some help from Adam or me?”

“Oh, God! I’m not stupid, I’d love some help.”

“Let’s hear what you’ve got so far,” Adam said.

Sandy grinned. “Damn! Thanks, I really appreciate you guys listening to this. Lennie, turn it up just a bit in my cans.”

Lennie and Neal both scrambled to offer Sophie their seats. Adam retreated to the rear of the room. How he managed to work with her years after they broke up was a mystery.

Back in the studio, the piano intro eased into Sandy’s headset. He didn’t need the lead sheets for the lyrics and being able to see Sophie just made him nervous, so he turned away from the window. Technically, he sounded fine, but still couldn’t find the soul the piece needed. If anybody would have ideas on how to fix it, Sophie or Adam would. Sandy wouldn’t turn down an offer of some magic Adam Emerson guitar, either.

He gave it everything he had. Maybe some of it sounded better, but by then, he just didn’t know. When he faced the window again, Adam had joined Sophie at the board. Nobody moved as the final notes played. Sophie’s eyes had become unfocused and her expression was so far away, Sandy half expected her to physically disappear.

She blinked several times. “Hon, I have an idea, if you don’t mind me singing with you.”

“Mind? I’d love to get this thing finished before I die.” Besides, I was hoping you’d say that.

“All right. Give me a few minutes to warm up.”

Everybody in the control room started talking then Lennie went out with Sophie and Adam. Neal was still looking after them when Sandy came into the room. “Forget it dude, that ivory tower is too high for almost everybody.”

“Don’t have any idea what you’re talking about.” Neal pushed some of the sliders on the board.

“Go ahead, play dumb. I’m getting some hot tea while Sophie’s busy. We might need to track it several times so be sure you record all of it.”

(to be continued)

Scene, Sandy and Sophie recording, pt 1

2011-11-27T11:02:00.001-05:00

I've been continuing to play around with various scenes from Street Glass and have been able to expand one whose roots go back to the early 1980s. It was inspired by a song that I only heard once. I recently was able to track it down and it was a great help with the scene. I decided to make the scene the best I could, as if it had primary importance in the story, as practice for scenes that really are essential.

It came out well enough that I'd like to share it on the blog, but it's too long for a separate page like the other scenes I have up. So I'll break it up into 4 or 5 parts and add it as the main post.
___________
This scene takes place somewhere in the middle of Street Glass, so the year would be '89 or '90. As currently written, this scene is not intended to be included in the novel. Its purpose is to practice writing, explore the earliest beginnings of Sandy and Sophie’s relationship, explore a bit of her relationship with Adam, and have some fun that wouldn’t be appropriate for the novel. As everything is in this novel, the scene is in close third POV.

Background: Adam and Sophie are members of the rock/pop band Xenith. Sophie has also started the band Obsession to showcase her solo work; she’s active in both bands. She and Adam went through a very public and acrimonious breakup of their romantic relationship a few years prior, though they’ve continued to play in Xenith.

The term “track” is sometimes used here as a synonym for the verb “record.” The term “cans” is used as a synonym for “headset.” Lennie is producer as well as engineer for Sandy’s song, with only Neal assisting him; that’s why I don’t mention anyone else. The term “studio” can be a bit confusing. Used here, it refers to the specific room that the artist stands in to sing or play, not a building. If anything else confuses you, drop me a comment.
___________
In the studio to lay down the vocal track for one of his songs, Sandy wrapped up another effort. That hadn’t sounded right either. Standing at his mic in the studio, he shook his head at Lennie who sat in the control room with Neal. “I don’t know, maybe I don’t do this enough, but it somehow doesn’t feel right. Your piano must be off.”

Lennie laughed. “I don’t think so! Maybe the fact that’s it’s 2:30 in the morning and we’ve been at this for four hours has something to do with it.”

“Maybe it’s knowing that you’re staring at me while I’m trying to do this.”

“Oh good, how are you going to handle this live, then?”

“Ah, that’s different, I won’t have you in front of me.”

“Thirty thousand people in front of you will be better?”

As Len spoke, Sandy heard knocking at the control room door. Neal got up and went to the back of the room. Sandy swiped his bottle of water from the floor and took a drink. Four hours, damn. He should’ve been able to track a simple vocal in less than that.

Movement through the control room window made him look up. Oh God, Sophie and Adam! Sandy almost dropped the bottle. What in the world were they doing at the studio? And look at Len and Neal, chatting up Sophie. Adam looks like he might throw up.

Sandy hung his headset on the hook clipped to the mic stand and reached the door in a few long steps. Adam was in his usual jeans and dress shirt. Sophie wore a flowy deep blue dress with a sparkly necklace that dripped down the front. She tugged at a curl of her long, dark hair. She must be closing in on forty years old but man, she was hot. “Hey, hi. Those two aren’t the only people here tonight.”

“Hey ace,” Adam said. Sophie smiled.

Lennie said, “Aren’t you supposed to be working on something?”

“I need a break after four hours. It is really good to see some different faces.”

“Seriously, are we interrupting?” Sophie asked.

“Damn, no! I’m not even sure I like this song anymore, and I wrote it.”

“What’s the problem?” she asked, looking in at Sandy.

“It’s the vocal. I can’t put my finger on it, something just doesn’t sound right. I know what I want from myself but somehow it’s not coming.”

“Offer to help,” Adam said to Sophie. “That problem’s up your alley.”

She crossed her arms. “I’m not here to push myself on anybody.”

“Hey, a problem’s a problem.” He turned to Sandy. “She can nail a track in one take. Vocals are her thing.”

Lennie raised his eyebrows at Sandy. “I wouldn’t let this chance get away if I was you. Getting home before sunrise would be, like, really great.”

Adam bowed his head in Sophie’s direction and held out a hand toward her. “Miss Sophie Linn, fixer of vocal issues. Problems in the studio don’t stand a chance against her.”

She narrowed her eyes at him.

updates

2011-11-19T12:36:00.000-05:00

So you know, I've updated the character interview page and the scene of Sophie's Christmas tree. I've also deleted the page with the scene of Neal and Lola, because it's no longer accurate. I've added a Cast of characters page. My posts often refer to people that casual blog readers may not be familiar with, so the list is an easy reference. It'll be adjusted as necessary.

Character fracking - in this case, it's good to keep digging

2011-11-19T12:13:00.002-05:00

I've been asked about the interview I did with Neal to figure out what it is he wants at the start of the novel. It's a short interview so I'm including it here. I'll have some comments afterward. Since I talked to him while he was still with the gang, I refer to him by that name.
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Owlie: Here you are, member of a street gang, with no permanent home and no family. What do you want to do with your life?

Razor: I wanna get away from Coyote. What’s this shit, nobody can look at his woman? She stands in front of me, what’m I supposed to do? If I can’t touch her, I don’t wanna be around her.

Owlie: That’s a start. What else? You must think about your life, up there on that roof you like to sit alone on.

Razor: I look at the little lights, some close, some far. Some of my friends let me help with fixing cars. I could do that, if I got out of MF. My friends make enough money to live on. But that’s just a dream. Coyote don’t let nobody out.

Owlie: He doesn’t let people out, but Flaco got out. You’re pretty sure his family, scattered around L.A. County, hid him. What if you got out too? Imagine MF is no longer in the picture.

Razor: Yeah, well, that’s hard because MF is everyplace. I used to want that, y’know, it was good to know they had my back. I had nobody else so it was good to see MF stand up for me. But Coyote got real crazy, rivals act up and you gotta defend your territory, there’s always shit happening that ain’t as cool as I thought it was.

I just want to know why mi madre left me to MF, y’know? What kind of mother just takes off and leaves a 10-year-old, when she knows there ain’t nobody to take care of him?
Mi padre, who knows who he was. Lola married some Anglo, but I ain’t Anglo, so who was he? Why didn’t she leave me with him?

Owlie: He might have died, like her husband Edward.

Razor: Both of ‘em kicking the bucket? What, did she slit their throats? No, I don’t know why she married somebody else, but I know she left me. Sonofabitch, I was ten years old! Who’d she think was gonna take care of me? Maybe she died, maybe she got jailed for the rest of her life. Blood family is everything and mine fell apart. It’s not knowing that kills me. I just gotta know why.
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I think there was more going on behind his answers, and it's important to be aware of that because he may be holding out on me. At this stage of his life, it's very hard for him to be honest with other people.

Wow, that line of thought just led to a whole cascade of things. See, never accept the first couple of answers your characters give! Maybe Neal also wants to figure out who he really is. Before leaving Mi Familia, he was known to others as Razor, one of "that gang". His non-MF friends know him a little better, but he feels he can never completely let his guard down. MF always comes first.

Wanting to know more about his mother is a very personal thing; he must think about other personal things.

Why am I different? I'm in tight with MF, but I ain't got my own cantón, my own place to live. I got women and kids, but no other family. I live in the barrio, but my given name is Anglo. I got half a handful of lots of stuff, but I ain't got a whole handful of anything. But here I am - I'm alive. What am I, really? I wanna see stuff, do stuff! I wanna take these twisted up thoughts and feelings inside me and do somethin' with 'em.

That came from sitting up on the roof alone, as Neal often does. He likes to go up at night; everything looks more alive with all the lights. Wanting to know more of who he really is ties in with deciding to take an active part in co-creating the non-profit group. He wants to know not just his family background, but who he is personally. He doesn't think of it this way, but he wants to know what he's capable of.

Always pay attention if you sense something with your characters is not quite complete. Your intuition about these things is usually right.

What's going on

2011-11-11T15:05:00.000-05:00

I’m putting Street Glass on hold because I’ve found an online course I think will help with the plot, but the course doesn’t start until February. I strongly feel I need a more experienced hand to guide me.

My plot problems, I believe, arise from Neal not having a strong enough goal at the start of the story. I may need to intensify things before he even meets Sandy. Readers have to care about Neal and sympathize with him very early on, or the chance to leave the gang won’t mean much.

But I’ll still play around with scenes as they catch my interest. Moving to the forefront is an idea I’m turning into a short story, with an eye toward making it the first of a series of shorts. I aim to submit the first story to some as-yet-unfound contests. This will keep me writing, and will help with the all-important skill of reducing my words. You may have noticed I like to talk J

This story is a fantasy, set in a medieval sort of era. It concerns the rediscovery of magic. Be assured it will not be a clichéd piece! Using this magic has definite physical consequences, unpleasant ones. This magic cannot do everything though it has certain attractions. I’m still filling in some of the details, but it’s already quite a bit of fun.

One of the members of my local writers’ group gave me a copy of yWriter5 to try. I’ve just started playing with it. It looks like it could be helpful for keeping people, places, and plots straight. Sure, you could use a spreadsheet, but yWriter lets you keep the lists and the story in one program. Okay, you could make lists in Word too. In fact I do that for Street Glass and I have two spreadsheets that I use less often. I’ll let you know what I think of the program in another week or two.

Speaking of lists, the discography for Sylvyr Star has been completed. You’ll find it on a separate page, here. It starts with the band’s first release in 1980 and goes up to 1991. I had to work hard to convince them to tell me the whole catalog; I think they had copyright concerns ;) I assured them that there’s nothing to worry about.

Neal tells me that at some point after he’s become comfortable playing rhythm guitar, he does some CCR covers with Star. He’s gotten so wrapped up in the project that when I listen to CCR, I can hear Star’s versions playing just underneath. It’s a weird effect, let me tell you. Just when I get a handle on the character voices in my head, I get fictional music playing along with the real stuff (insert googly-eyed smiley here!)

what do you want and why do you want it?

2011-11-05T10:17:00.000-04:00

Multitasking here; writing a blog post and working on my plot at the same time. You’ve probably heard it before—your Main Character needs to have a strong goal in order for the story to work and for readers to care about him. Case in point: the reason I have plot holes in my outline is because Neal does not have a strong enough goal that would drive the plot.

Don’t ask me why it took nearly three years to figure that out, but at least I realized it before cobbling together a shoddy plot then sending the manuscript out J

How do I find out what he wants? Why does he want it? One night, after having given up on the notion of sleep, I interviewed Neal to try to find out. He told me that beneath his hatred of his mother for abandoning him, he wants to know why a mother would leave her ten-year-old child to the clutches of a street gang.

With that as his original goal (the secondary goal being making a better life for himself), and seeing that Sandy has so many more resources than he ever did, he could become obsessed with finding out what happened to her. This of course leads to all sorts of questions I’ve barely started to realize—would the band’s “people” be able to find any trace of her? If not, how does the plot advance? My muse shakes her head at me:

“Come on, it’s obvious. By the time Neal moves in with the band, Lola’s been involved in Tony’s illegal activities for eight years. She doesn’t want any attention. So Tony would have to step in, leaving Neal with an ever-shifting series of tantalizing clues that may or may not be real.”

Well fine, I say, but how do you expect to pull that off? She just gives me that enigmatic smile. Maybe her name is really Mona Lisa.

So what I pull from this is to question your characters’ motives often. I thought that it was enough to show readers what an awful life Neal was stuck in. I forgot one of Art Edwards' valuable lessons—make your major characters more than you think they should be. Give them truly powerful motivations and they will drive your story. Art calls it “overshooting the runway”. He’s not only great for ways to bring a rock lit novel to life, he’s a straight-to-the-point, excellent general writing teacher. Best money I ever spent was for his class in Basement Writing Workshop!

I also want to say that this new goal of Neal’s makes me a little uncomfortable, because it changes the way he’s always been. However, changes are necessary to make the story better. It’s okay to need time to adjust yourself to character changes, but it’s really important to accept that sometimes big changes need to happen. Don’t let your attachment to anything keep your story from becoming the best it can be. Michelangelo saw the form of a finished sculpture while the marble was still uncut, but for most writers, it usually takes more work J

Reason vs justification

2011-10-28T16:55:00.000-04:00

I want to say a few words on the idea that writers should be sure everything they include in their fiction is necessary, whether it's purpose is to move the plot forward or for characterization.

It's related to my opinion that many unpublished writers don't have a lot of confidence in their ability. We don't have an automatic filter that lets us know what can stay and what doesn't need to be there. Most of us don't know anybody with editor training who can walk us through the process. Basically, we have to guess.

That leads us to worrying that we aren't explaining the characters clearly enough. We add on. We get sucked into that ubiquitous quicksand of characters and plot. We tell ourselves the MC's flashback to the time his sick puppy was kicked by the mailman is necessary to show why the MC is a twisted adult. It's showing, to boot, so of course the flashback is necessary.

Well, maybe, and maybe not. It's perilously easy to cross the line between what's necessary and what's justification.

My crit buddy told me that the fight scene between Razor and Coyote in my current draft of chapter one doesn't need to be that long. I have reasons why it's written that way, but his reaction makes me question whether those reasons are in fact justification.

Do I need to make the point that scene is there for? How would the story change if I did shorten it, or remove it? Is all that detail there because the truth is I think I did a great job on it?

I'll add that my local writers' group liked the fight, but that doesn't mean it wouldn't benefit from tweaking.

It's good to have self-confidence in what we write. It's even necessary in my opinion. It's got to stay manageable though. It's hard to write something we love (a phrase or a chapter) and then hear that people are not getting out of it what we intended. Really listen to yourself and your inner editor. If you find yourself offering reason after reason why you've included something, consider that maybe it needs to be changed. Ouch, I know.

Robert Kernen said that not every idea, not even every good one, needs to be included. I'd rather take out some stuff I like and have most people tell me they really enjoyed the whole work, than keep stuff I like and have readers point out bunches of stuff that didn't work for them.

Getting out of the "character comfort zone"

2011-10-22T11:31:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I get so immersed in chapters of my WIP, and my main characters as they are in those chapters, that I have trouble remembering the characters are supposed to grow and change as the story progresses. When I think about the arc for each MC, I can see that change, but when I’m down in the trenches from chapter to chapter, it’s easy to get a handle on someone’s personality and then not want to struggle with changing it.

Of course, protagonists must have some degree of change. And for Street Glass, personality change for both Neal and Sandy is a major part of the plot. One way to keep from getting too comfortable with someone’s personality at any point in time is to jump ahead.

What I do for writing fun is think of an interaction I’ve never written out before; recently, it was events on the morning of Sandy’s wedding, and now I’m playing around with the evening of Neal’s first live show as second drummer. Neither of these may ever make it into any part of the novel. Critters may never see any version of them. But I write them mostly stream-of-consciousness style, with little thought to word choice, pacing, or those other things that tend to slow writers down. I just turn the characters loose and see what happens.

Not only is it incredibly fun (because there’s no pressure), scenes like that remind me of how the characters’ personalities change over time. Neal gets to a point where he eases from slangy English to grammatically correct English to slangy Spanish and back again, all in one paragraph, and Sandy has no trouble following his meaning. They’ve been through so much together that Sandy hardly even notices Neal’s language changes. However, in order for that to be plausible even in my own head, I have to show those changes happening gradually.

That keeps me focused on the chapters I know will be included in the novel. I tell myself that I’ll never be comfortable with those scenes that take place in the future if I don’t set them up right in the first place. Because I tend to be pretty literal and linear-minded, this works well for me.

By the time readers get to the end of your story, they should sense that your MC is not the same person he or she started out as. If you’re not sure that’s happening, or if critters are telling you they don’t think your major players have been affected by the big happenings, consider bouncing ahead several years. It make take you a few scenes to get the feel of how your character should have changed, but see what develops.

Don’t be afraid to get carried away. If you write enough future scenes that can be strung together, you might do half the work for a sequel!

“Building Better Plots” by Robert Kernen, part 31

2011-10-14T14:39:00.001-04:00

We’ve arrived at the final post in this series!

Kernen ends his book by giving a short rundown on non-traditional plots. He has concentrated on the usual ways plots are constructed—and published—and those probably do garner the most attention and sales. It makes sense, though, to at least be familiar with other ways of working. The best writing often uses bits of this and some of that in striking ways. You can’t do that if you only know one way to do it.

The epistolary novel and different ways of manipulating time are the two ideas he spends a fair amount of time on. As usual, he offers examples of works that have used each method. He suggests trying various twists on traditional plot construction to see if a stronger story emerges and just to improve your writing chops. He also suggested, earlier, to take all the index cards you’ve written your plot on, mix them up, then lay them out to see what you get. For some people, that’s going to be pretty tough to do. Mess with my plot? How dare you!

Yeah, guys, that’s the idea. It’s surprisingly simple to work yourself into writer’s blocks just because you think various things have to happen in certain ways. Writing is a creative process, so get creative!

Kernen then gathers all the exercises and quizzes together at the end, so you can have the tools all in one place as you go through your projects. I find that helpful. After that, he includes a glossary which is equally helpful. Things like “allegory”, “catharsis”, and “resonance” are briefly explained, as well as concepts like “conflict” and “raising the stakes”. If you’re going to talk about how to do anything, you ought to be sure everybody means the same thing when they use various terms.

In all, this is a darn useful book. The novel I’m working on is not really traditional, but I’ve gained a lot from Kernen’s methods. I’ve come back to the original idea that Neal’s and Sandy’s growth are the main focus. In other words, the rock-n-roll part of the story is part of the framework, not the plot itself. It’s a part that readers can see sometimes, but the details don’t matter as much as how the characters react.

I’m convinced that because all writers have trouble with various parts of their projects from time to time, that writers of any level will benefit from this book.

I recently got two books for research and started reading one, Street Wars by Tom Hayden. I’ll post a review of that at some point, plus I plan to read one of the rock lit novels out there and review that. Also, a member of my local writers’ group showed me a book on “creating original characters” that looks intriguing, so that may be on my “to review” list.

Thanks for coming along with me and Bob Kernen on the safari through plotting my novel! The process has to be internalized now. Feel free to add insights, tips on what works for you, or comments on failed efforts. We learn even when something bombs!

pt 30 of Robert Kernen's "Building Better Plots"

2011-10-08T10:45:00.000-04:00

Plot devices! Kernen says these are ways to focus the plot on the most important parts of characters’ lives, to clarify the context, or sharpen the story so that its fundamental meaning is well-defined—I like that. I think that’s just what I need to tackle the murky issue of Neal’s life during months-long tours.

The framing device. This is pretty much what it sounds like: circumstances and interactions happen at the start that we don’t fully understand, a narrator takes us back to where everything started and shows us how we got to that opening scene, and now we understand the connections and happenings. Kernen uses the example of the movie The Usual Suspects as one effective way the framing device has been used. I can see how some stories would gain excitement and tension from this device, but I don’t think it’s what my story needs.

The episodic plot. Kernen doesn’t really define this one, but says that this device is often used badly because the episodes are not well connected. He refers to Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales. Each story is almost completely unrelated to the others. I personally think that something like the Tales remains popular partly because the society they show us is so different from what modern readers know. I do show glimpses of closed societies in Street Glass, but the differences are not as dramatic. Anyway, I don’t think an episodic form will work for my novel either.

The flashback. Yes, it’s true, the flashback is often a cliché. But the device can still have value if you use it right. Don’t stick one in just because you’ve thought of a clever way to ease into and out of it. The information you offer has to be important, and preferably, the flashback should be the best way to get that info out. Kernen relies on two movies for examples of this device, but I think that’s a failing. We’re talking about writing flashbacks so I’d much rather have an example of a book where that’s done well. I do have one flashback in an early chapter but I’m going to stop there. I think telling this story in a linear way will help readers experience the changes along with the characters.

Parallel stories. Kernen says you need balance and timing to pull this off. I can see how it could be tricky. You don’t want to confuse readers but parallel stories can add depth and tension. I could say that Sandy’s changes parallel Neal’s as the story progresses, though both characters change because of their interaction with each other. There’s no separation in time or location. I’m sure that many fiction pieces use more than one of these plot devices.

It occurs to me that my original pile of individual scenes could be considered an episodic plot form. As Kernen mentions can happen, they were too loosely connected in that form to make a coherent story.

Kernen points out that the way to use any plot device successfully is to let it happen. Trying to force something onto the characters never works. For example, the first couple of times I posted early chapters of Street Glass to Critique Circle, readers complained that Sandy seemed too nice. Why did he offer to help Neal, who had nearly killed him? Sandy only had one dimension and it wasn’t even an appropriate one for the situation.

In Art Edwards’ Rock And Roll Writing course through Basement Writing, we were challenged to get to know our characters better. I combined this with an exercise designed to help us create compelling characters. We were told to write about an alcoholic coming home for Thanksgiving. I discovered that Sandy had a cousin who resented his success and blamed him for her life falling apart; when she died, he shouldered the blame. With Neal, Sandy sees another young person whose life is out of control. By helping Neal, Sandy hopes to right a wrong and maybe put his cousin’s memory to rest. Now Sandy isn’t just Mr. Nice Guy, he has a personal reason for helping Neal. That background info comes out in a flashback.

Next post in this series is the last! I discuss the final sections of the book and wrap up my impressions of the whole work, and add some comments on other stuff coming down the pike for me.

“Building Better Plots”, part 29 by Robert Kernen

2011-09-30T15:00:00.000-04:00

In chapter 9, Kernen gets into the nitty gritty of using the 3 x 5 index cards to complete my plot outline. He seems to expect that once I write out all my plot points, major and minor, and include blank cards for spots that I know need tweaking, I’ll be able to see and solve plot problems. He talks about writing the plot as fully as I can in outline format on a bunch of index cards then laying them out to study how the plot threads interact.

Well, okay, but I am not going to be able to fine tune my plot at that stage. I consider the nature of an outline to be an abbreviated form; therefore, I’m not going to see everything that needs tweaking or tossing until I flesh out each scene.

But that doesn’t mean using index cards is nonproductive. I cobbled together an outline on the computer, including spots where I’m unsure how to handle a scene, and adjusted the margins so I could fit individual plot points onto 3 x 5 cards. I haven’t printed them onto the cards yet because as I continue to read the book, I get possible ideas for spots where I’m stuck.

I do think that even without fine tuning my plot in outline form, being able to physically see what I do have all laid out in front of me will be helpful. I’ll get a good sense of how the major points fit together, and where subplots would be effective. I have enough of the plot to know that some areas are still weak.

Kernen suggests something to help in finding hidden connections: once you have the index cards printed out and in the order you think they should go, number them, then shuffle them like a deck of cards. Lay them out one at a time and see if any adjacent cards trigger new themes or make connections clear.

Yeah, I’m gonna pass on that, at least for now. I’ve already moved stuff around to the point of knowing which major points need to stay together and which are subject to being moved again. But I’ll keep the technique in mind in case I get stymied along the way.

In chapter 10, Kernen talks about the movie Rain Man and how the physical road traveled by the brothers is a metaphor for several things, as well as a simple and effective way to physically move the characters. This is encouraging. In my own story, Neal travels roads of various lengths which mirror his personal development. He eventually journeys around the world and always comes home to the same city, but a different neighborhood than where he grew up. Psychologically, he becomes more of a well-rounded person though he still has tendencies that make him wonder how much he’s really changed.

Kernen’s certainly right that having unifying elements throughout a story help give it depth and power. He refers to how James Michener uses places essentially as characters in his novels, and how that enriches the entire tale. Okay, I don’t expect that I’m going to write something that will be compared to Michener, but it’s a good point.

In a more distant way, Los Angeles might be seen as a character in Street Glass, or maybe several characters. Some neighborhoods shape the lives of residents and hold them there, while other areas encourage freedom. Neal’s basic personality was formed in the barrio—once he gets out of that stagnant atmosphere, how much is he able to change himself, and change society?

This is fun! I like thinking about broad themes. It gives me a sense of direction not just for the characters, but the story as a whole.

Next post: breaking down the usual ways to work a plot. Part 30 is the penultimate segment in this series!

“Building Better Plots” by Robert Kernen, part 28

2011-09-23T11:05:00.000-04:00

Kernen’s idea for using 3x5 cards to list scenes and plot points seems to be a good idea. Since I’m well along in the plot process though, I’ll have to tweak his method. He says not to worry if you feel that some scenes or plot points need to be connected but you don’t know how yet; just put in one or more blank cards as placeholders.

He has a series of questions to help you decide if something’s missing in your plot. For example, how’s the level of tension; are major plot points spaced properly; and is something needed to keep or perfect the overall story’s pacing.

These and the other questions are not ones I feel capable of answering. If I knew those things, I wouldn’t need help with plotting. But then, I’ve never worked with an editor or agent, so maybe once that happens I’ll gain new skills that will allow me to see those issues myself. I’ll keep my fingers crossed J

As I create more scenes for major plot points, I’ll become aware of the story’s rhythm? Well, Robert, I’m not so sure, because I’ve worked through dozens of complete scenes since beginning this adventure, and I haven’t any idea of how the pacing or the rhythm are. The more I read about “how to write”, the more I feel that some of the things I’m “supposed to” be aware of are things that my subconscious may know, but my conscious brain just doesn’t have the room.

I think I understand what Kernen means by plot points being spaced properly. Major scenes shouldn’t happen too close together or too far apart because that will feel stilted and unnatural.

I guess what I’m having the biggest problem with as I go through this book is that it’s aimed at a huge group of writers (as in, anybody who buys the book). The best thing about having a teacher or editor work with you is that they focus on your story. They give advice for your issues. So, I’m very much looking forward to the new online writing course I’ve started.

I’ve interrupted my process with Kernen’s book because this online course came up. It’s called “Laws of Motion: Plotting the Compelling Story” and it’s through Writer U on Yahoo! groups. The instructor is Laura Baker. So far, I like the course because Laura is forcing the students to focus on what’s really important for our plots. Unpublished and therefore inexperienced writers (like me) have a tendency to think everything should be included in our plots. But like Kernen says, not every idea needs to go in. We need help deciding exactly what it is we’re trying to say, and the best way to say it.

An interesting idea that Baker puts forward is that the main character’s basic nature drives his choice of actions, which drive the plot. She forced me to pin down one protagonist; it was easy enough to say that Neal goes through the biggest changes and causes the most important plot points to happen. What’s harder is identifying his basic nature. Baker suggested that it could be he fears being vulnerable. While that’s true, I do feel that alone doesn’t adequately describe his basic nature. Like people in real life, Neal is complex and he sometimes acts in contradictory ways. But I’m far from done with the course!

In my next post on “Building Better Plots”, James Michener makes an appearance, in a sense!

Robert Kernen’s “Building Better Plots”, part 27

2011-09-16T13:55:00.000-04:00

Well, regardless of who’s right about the definition of “interpolation”, Kernen says something pretty helpful about how to solve plot gaps. He says to put plot points on an arc, wherever you think it makes the most sense for each scene to fall. If you have two scenes that you don’t know how to bridge, consider the plot arc they form. What characters are necessary to move the plot to that empty place? You want to raise the tension a little from the previous scene, but not so much that readers are jarred.

If you have a blank space following two scenes, think about those two scenes. Look at the plot arc. What elements do you need to build tension and drama that will reach the next scene? What will raise the tension a bit from the last scene? What subplot needs development?

These are all great hints to help me get past that block of “what happens during these world tours.”

Kernen suggests using 3 x 5 index cards to write your plot points, because the cards are small enough to move around very easily yet are roomy enough to write a fair amount of scene information. He says the biggest problem he’s found with computer outline programs is that he can’t see the whole plot on a single screen, and that’s something I’ve thought about before.

If you aren’t bothered by how much you can see on a computer screen, and you find a program that lets you move plot information around to your satisfaction, run wild. I love computers (though I do wish programs were more customizable and I wish “in the background” online stuff really would be in the *background*), but for fiction writing, I need to see the whole picture as well as the parts. Currently my outline is just a straight listing of events in a word processing document because that’s a simple format I can manipulate, but it does have that visual limitation.

You guys born and raised in the digital age, don’t knock pen and paper! There was even a time when people didn’t leave the house with a phone. The authors of classic fiction from the 1800s wrote their drafts either in longhand or on a manual typewriter. The simplicity of paper has advantages. And besides, if you never hold a brand-new *book* in your hands, you miss that unique and special scent that whispers, “Fresh paper, just feel how soft I am, ahhh, a new story!”

Of course, one could argue that paper books are not ecologically sound, but that’s beyond my little blog. Which, ironically, is totally digital.

Anyway: Remember that writing advice is just that: guidance, suggestions. If you find a way of doing any part of the process that gets you to the end product better, go with that. No two writers work exactly alike. I am finding a bunch of advice that does work well for me, however, so it makes sense to start with that and adapt as you find necessary. Chances are you already have occasional “writer’s block” or “dry spells” or whatever, so don’t add to your stress by thinking that this or that method is the only way.

Having done a first draft, and therefore collected a large number of scenes big and small, I’ll need to adapt Kernen’s suggestions for working with a 3 x 5 card system. But, I’ll read through the section on using the cards and I’ll get back to you with thoughts on how I (and maybe you) can use the system.

Robert Kernen’s “Building Better Plots”, part 26

2011-09-11T13:04:00.000-04:00

I’m a little annoyed with Kernen’s chapter on constructing an outline. Funny, that’s what I’ve been waiting for, and he starts out telling me some things he’s already mentioned, and telling me other things too cryptic to be of use.

He says that to build an outline, I should decide how the story ends and start there. Well, he’s previously given exercises on plots, so by now I have a bunch of plot points that span the novel. He tells me to focus on the climax scene and list all the elements that need to converge in that moment: which characters need to be present (I’ve done that) and which points need to be cemented in that scene. Well, but I won’t know *all* of them until I know how the story plays out. Unexpected themes and plot twists happen while I’m capturing scenes, so I can’t project that far ahead.

I suspect there’s a boatload of themes, metaphors and motifs in Street Glass, because they intertwine and some are subtle. Aren’t those terms synonymous in this context? I know many of the themes I want to explore, but as I see it after having done a first draft, some of them are *felt* rather than *heard* in the climax, to use a music comparison/metaphor/trope/thing.

For example, by the time I get to the scene with Neal and his mother Lola where they talk about his past and his future, readers should realize that Neal feels his past is smothering him without my having to be blatant about it. It’s a gradual build-up.

Neal struggled to make a good life once he got away from the gang. Attempts on his life were made. He overcame racial and social prejudice. He gave up a safe, private life to co-run a public, non-profit group that works to prevent kids from turning to drugs and gangs. He thought that at long last, his past no longer had a hold on him.

But then he’s caught in a riot and picked up by cops who think he’s just another troublemaker because he looks the part. He’s tossed in a holding cell with gangbangers and miscellaneous rabble-rousers. That’s bad enough. Then his biological father Tony (whom Neal hates) shows up. A brawl breaks out in the holding cell, and Neal is handcuffed, his ankles are chained together and he’s tossed onto a plane. He winds up clear across the country, where he doesn’t know anybody. He’s now battered and at the mercy of a father who has already made it clear that his only interest in Neal is to get money from him.

Locked in a lightless room, Lola visits him, the mother who abandoned him as a child. By this point, readers should realize that when I say he finds it hard to get enough air, it’s not just because there are no windows. Realizing that Lola is the only person who can free him makes everything worse. When Neal gets his hands on Tony and nearly strangles him, readers should understand why.

So I guess I’ve already got the bones of the climax scene. I know generally what leads up to it.

This is kind of funny: Kernen says that one way to bridge the gap between the inciting incident and the climax is through interpolation, which he defines as “predicting the location of something by knowing two points, one on either side of it.” But the dictionary in my word processor defines it as to “insert something into something else: to add one thing, often an unnecessary item, between the existing parts of something else.”

Contradictory information even at the most basic level! I’ll say it yet again — people wonder why writers drink!

Coming up: the physical side of outlines, and I don’t mean the “word” part.

Bob Kernen's "Building Better Plots", part 25

2011-09-03T12:38:00.001-04:00

This comment scares me. A “vast, complete knowledge of the world in which you are working will help you to avoid making poor decisions or untenable leaps of logic.” I get the point that the more the writer knows about the universe she/he is writing in, the better the story will be, but I’ve also read comments from published authors who say that a particular plot point or theme didn’t appear until the story was being written.

As in most (if not all) writing advice, I guess it depends on the specifics of your story and maybe somewhat on your way of working. All this “it depends” can get annoying. After all, why read advice if it can’t help you with specifics? It does, but you have to think about it. I’ve signed up for my third writing course so I do believe in getting advice. I’ll have to look at what I’m being told and see how it applies to my situation. Yes, sigh all you want, learning how to write well is cerebral and usually not quick.

I’ve discovered that just because most of the characters in my WIP have been in my head for a few decades, I didn’t necessarily *know* them. When I wrote out exploratory scenes and filled out character profiles, I discovered things I had no idea about. I knew Sandy liked his Ferrari, but I didn’t realize that when he got his first one, he went tearing all over the county and wound up in the Angeles Forest where he smashed into a guard rail. Despite his main quirk of being naïve, this also shows he does sometimes take chances. So, it is in fact realistic that he wants to take a chance on helping Neal.

My only concern is the idea that getting to know characters can be done in a few writing sessions. Maybe some people can work that way, but I think what worked for me are the dozens of scenes I wrote over a few years. Every new situation I explored showed more of each character’s personality. The characters evolved one way, but I realized that wasn’t realistic, and so I had to change things up. The guys in the band, originally, were too nice to each other. Sure, they’re friends, but they spend so much time together that it’s natural for nerves to fray and arguments to explode.

At first, it felt wrong to introduce a bunch of changes. I didn’t want to change characters’ fundamental natures. Now that I’ve had time to adjust to that idea, I see that I’ve simply enhanced their personalities. I always knew that Eric came from a religious family that he felt was too restrictive, and then I discovered that his family ran a mission/soup kitchen in the Denver area. He saw a lot of the dark side of life there. Being front man for the band is how he distances himself from his past. Of the band members, he reacts the strongest to Neal showing up at the band’s house because of his own background.

I discovered Sandy had a relative who resented his success because she couldn’t seem to get her life together; he felt tremendous guilt when she died an alcoholic. That makes him more than just a nice guy trying to do a good deed for Neal, it gives him an emotional connection to Neal. Those are concepts a lot of people can relate to.

So don’t be afraid to change your characters to bring out drama and realism. Delve deep and see what happened in their childhood, teen years, and early working life. Take a seed idea, plant in a big pot, water with “what if”, and then let the result break out of the pot. Climb that beanstalk and see where you wind up. I’ll bet you have great fun!

When my series resumes, I’ll touch on themes and the climax.

Some help from "The Farmer's Daughter"

2011-08-27T13:19:00.000-04:00

Hot damn. I downloaded Fleetwood Mac’s 1980 “Live” album; I bought the LP when it first came out so I knew what it's like. But I haven’t heard any of the tracks in several years and I’d forgotten what a tight, top-notch, truly professional band those guys were. Because this is my blog, I’m going to rave about it. --A little, and then I’ll connect it to writing. Really!

You’d think a live “Rhiannon” when Stevie Nicks’ vocal prowess was at its peak would be the point at which I lost awareness of the room and whatever I was doing. No, it was the two-and-a-half-minute rendition of “The Farmer’s Daughter”. It’s a simple, rhythm-laden version with vocal harmonies so flawless and sweet that I’m quite sure my eyes glazed over. I’ve always thought that song was something special, but since delving much more deeply into music when I got serious about writing my novel, I’ve become more acoustically sensitive, or something. I hear instruments I never knew were there, I feel things in songs that my ears don’t pick up (which I understand is what a lot of music producers intended), and generally enjoy what I listen to a whole lot more.

(And I know that plenty of people already appreciate music this way. I don’t mean to imply that I’ve acquired some special power, here.)

Find that song online, put on a kick-ass headset, and just listen. Guitar and bass whup up and down like rubber bands the size of the Earth. There’s a shaker hissing in there and Mick manages to thump the drums gently. I think it’s Lindsey, Stevie, and Christine singing. No one voice stands out. They blend so very perfectly it sounds like totally different people (at least to me). I put this on repeat and trance out. The overall tone is soft and breezy with a bit of wickedness from the rhythm section. It beats in my ears and my gut like my own heart.

Now, this sort of examination helps in my WIP, because I’m writing about musicians. There are times when the storytelling segues into “music telling”. I’d love to have readers click a button in the e-reader version of my book and hear the music as they read about it, but that probably ain’t gonna happen. Therefore, I have to write as clearly as I can especially about those parts so readers can hear something in their heads.

You can benefit from that sort of observing. Pay attention to how different people speak; you’ll hear different accents and cadences. This is endlessly helpful for tips on how to make your characters sound different from each other. Think about how you’d write out slangy speech, for example, and how much or little to change it so readers consider it unique but not annoying. Think about tone and timbre of voice.

An easier one is to study how people dress. Practice describing them. What is it about one person that draws your eye but not somebody else? Does one person seem to stand taller, move more confidently, project an air of meaning business? How detailed can you get describing that person? How much can you then cut out but still get across a basic of sense of the person?

Sharpen your ability to see unexpected connections between things. Study everything, no matter how small. The process as I describe it does rely on eyesight, but I am confident that sight-impaired people are just as capable of “looking at” things in unique ways. As a writer, you have a superpower—a potent imagination that can turn you into a fly on any wall.

I’ve never been backstage at a rock show. I’ve done some research, but it’s not easy for me to find out the sort of details that would make it sound like I hang around backstage all the time. So, I have to work harder. As I do research reading, I picture things in as much detail as I can. I grab everything I read and drop it into my muse’s Magickal Crockpot. It simmers together continuously underneath my conscious mind. When I sit down to write, stuff pops out of that Crockpot.

Music has a way of freeing our emotions and our minds. The next time you find you’re really stuck on a scene or on characterization, get out your i-pod or other portable music, queue up your favorites, and go people-watch. Become a sponge. Be alert to the interesting, the thought-provoking, the different, the beautiful. Feel impressions sink down into you. Eat, nap, repeat. You’ll know when your cauldron of impressions has a batch of “alphabet soup” ready to go!

What! I have to meet your eyes when I crit your piece?

2011-08-20T12:19:00.000-04:00

I joined a local writers’ group! A physical, face-to-face group, not another online one. I plan to stay active on Critique Circle, because I get some good feedback and I enjoy that particular online community. But let me say a few words about the value of live interaction.

Those of you born into the electronic age, for whom social networks have become the main way of keeping in touch, allow me to say that you’re missing out. When all you have is text, you don’t get facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice. It’s the reason that some innocent posts are misinterpreted and start a flame war. When you have to look somebody in the eyes and say what you think of their writing—that very personal part of themselves—it’s different than hiding behind your laptop.

No more grimacing and eye rolling but then saying, “I loved your piece”. Of course not everybody is going to be totally honest in this context, but then humans are like that. I just think the interaction encourages a sense of togetherness and empathy that you don’t feel when texting and posting.

This local group meets in a coffee house. The ambiance, for me, is similar to that of an old, beautiful library. We sit around a real wooden table with our favorite drinks, maybe a snack, and dig into some writing. We’re surrounded by beautiful wall art, classy light fixtures, windows looking out at a busy intersection. Last time, we critted a short poem, and some members said they thought the single punctuation—a period at the end of the last line—should be deleted, and others said they thought it could stay but commas could be added elsewhere. Someone said that the lone period seemed to enhance the poem’s feeling of alone-ness. We looked to the author for clarification, and he shrugged and said “It’s just a period.”

How cool is it that one period can cause so many different opinions? Writing is so wonderful because the same thing can have as many meanings as there are readers. Sculpture, music, painting, and other forms are the same way. Art truly lifts us above the mundane.

I’m not sure that interaction would’ve happened the same way online. Face-to-face, you get lightning conversation. When everybody is respectful, you see a lot of light bulbs go off, one after the other and sometimes all at once. Trust me, it’s faster than texting.

I kind of laugh at myself, because in general, I don’t prefer groups. I’m waaay more confident when I don’t have to meet somebody’s eyes. But here, among people who share my most basic urge, I’m settling in faster than I would in other places.

Anybody who hasn’t tried being in a writers’ group, do a Google search and see if you can’t find one. You may decide it’s not for you after you go to some meetings. That’s fine. There is, of course, no set-in-stone way to get crits and improve your writing. This is, however, a time-honored way to bounce your ideas off people who share your love of words.

Keep your Facebook account, keep posting in your online crit group, but find some room in your life for live action. The nitty-gritty part of writing does happen alone; even if you do it in a crowded room, you’re the only one in your own head with your characters. I feel I write best when totally alone. Finding what doesn’t work often requires other eyes and that’s where crit groups are invaluable. I love seeing that spark of “I really get what you’re saying!” there on somebody’s face.

I do have one caveat for my comment on art and the mundane. The crazy conglomeration of life-size canoes in front of a local art museum just makes me scratch my head. Oh, and the weird yellow-orange thing that looks for all the world like a giant cheese curl? I much prefer the statue of David.

"Building Better Plots" by Robert Kernen, part 24

2011-08-14T12:24:00.000-04:00

Still grappling with the issue of those two world tours Neal comes along for, and how they should be represented in my manuscript. I’ve been stuck on the questions “What happens to the main characters during those tours? How can events during the tours advance the plot?” Maybe I’ve been stuck inside that “what happens?” box.

In chapter 7 Kernen says that “creating good plots is distilling a character’s life down to just the good stuff.” Recently, I’ve begun thinking that maybe it’s really not so important to show the details of those tours; maybe what I really need to show are the results, the impact on Neal’s character. Maybe some entries from his journal can be blended with interpersonal scenes that could happen anywhere in the world. That would allow me to focus on what happens between characters without having to fret over what goes on behind the scenes on tours.

“…Pull the noteworthy events together to become the major plot points of the story.” Ha! Really? But that’s sort of what I started out doing: only writing pivotal scenes involving the same set of characters. I didn’t think at all about how to bridge the scenes to make a coherent story.

I have a feeling Kernen is not telling me it’s okay to string together (mostly related) scenes and call it a novel. Darn.

Narrowing the scope of a story is one way to distill events. In my case, I’ve finally decided where the story should end, so where should it begin? I don’t think readers will be able to appreciate Neal’s changes unless they see what his life was like before he met Sandy. That’s not a failing on the readers’ part, it’s simple logic. So I can give a definite start point and end point now — yay!

I’m very interested in Kernen’s example of the movie Two for the Road. He says it’s about the disintegrating marriage of a couple, as shown through the prism of their yearly trip to the south of France. Viewers get to watch the couple without the distractions of friends or family, and they get to see how the couple changes over the course of the annual trip.

That’s a brilliant idea, if you want the focus of the story to be on the couple. I’m pretty much focusing on a couple too. Therefore, I should be able to show that while keeping other parts of their lives in the background. Theoretically, anyway!

I’m still needled by the idea that all of Neal’s experiences once he leaves the gang contribute to his development, and therefore need to be shown. But another little voice whispers that I should remember Kernen’s statement that not every idea, not even every good one, needs to be included. I need to keep the spotlight on what’s *important*.

Geez, this is slow. It’s late June and I’m not done with my plot. Well-crafted stories don’t write themselves! A look at any first draft will confirm that.

Next time — write yourself a beanstalk!

pt 23 of "Building Better Plots", by Robert Kernen

2011-08-07T09:55:00.000-04:00

At the end of Part 22, I said I’d be back with a clearer idea of where to end the story and what to include in what I will call the first book. I’m going to write it with enough stuff hinted at for the future that a second book will be possible.

Ending Book One is a matter of acceptance. My gut is telling me where the climax is. Trying to turn another scene into the climax will only mess things up for the reader. I still have to decide what to include in the resolution, but that can wait. I can live with that.

On to Part Two of Kernen’s book: Building the Plot. Kernen says that, over time, plot archetypes have developed. That makes sense, since there are character archetypes. I think plot archetypes are related to genre. He says that these archetypes help writers, because:

they offer a solid foundation with a “sub-frame” on which to build the story (there are some things the writer won’t have to make up or research exhaustively);
writers “can assume a certain body of knowledge on the part of the audience” (they’ve probably read similar stories and will be familiar with certain concepts).

Readers benefit from the patterns also because they can “more easily follow the story and understand the underpinnings of it.”

For the purposes of his book, he uses nine types:

Vengeance
Betrayal
Catastrophe
Pursuit
Rebellion
The quest
Ambition
Self-sacrifice
Rivalry

Kernen offers a list of criteria and examples of stories for each archetype, in addition to an in-depth discussion of each type and why they work so well. I like this approach, but I have a problem with some of the examples he uses. Some authors of “how-to” books for writers stress classic novels as resources, but frankly, I don’t think the classics are that much help. I need to know how to apply these lessons with modern writing conventions. I don’t want to hear, “Your writing would fit right in with Shakespeare’s contemporaries. But we don’t publish that.”

Maybe this is why successful authors are often asked “What do you like to read?” The masses of unpublished writers assume that if they want to write kind of like Stephen King, and King likes another particular writer, that writer must “know how to write.” Maybe that person’s style is a bit more accessible to us than King’s.

I started to worry about seeing so many of these archetypes throughout my own WIP, but Kernen seems to imply that’s a good thing. What a relief.

Next installment talks about keeping a spotlight on without using a wash over the whole stage. Now that’s an appropriate metaphor!

Come bloom with us

2011-07-29T15:43:00.000-04:00

Okay, I admit it: I live in Buffalo, New York. Yeah, okay, it gets cold here sometimes (but we hit 95 degrees F last week). Yeah, the local economy has been depressed since well before the recent national financial woes. But you know what we do have, that other people wish they had? Garden Walk Buffalo.

The 17th annual walk is this weekend. It's not the only garden walk in our town, but it's the largest and best attended. According to this article in The Buffalo News, people not just from coast to coast are saying the garden walk is fabulous, people come here from other countries to see our gardens. The part I love best, maybe, is that organizers in Cleveland were so impressed that they modeled their own garden walk after ours.

Ha! Take that, Clevelanders.

Seriously, the event is something that people have begun to plan their vacations around. Many of the gardens are in historic neighborhoods with beautiful old homes, but many are also part of smaller properties. The vast majority of participants do not use professional landscaping services. All that blooming beauty comes about because the homeowners love to garden.

That, friends, is more than 350 gardeners who invite literally thousands of people to view their handiwork. Some folks offer cold drinks to the walkers (for a small fee). Check out the official Garden Walk website.

Hey, next year, swing by yourself! I guarantee you, you haven't seen anything quite like it. "Screamin' color" is an apt description. If you wear a CC t-shirt, wave at anybody who looks owly, and maybe I'll wave back :)

What's this post about?

2011-07-22T15:52:00.000-04:00

I’m halfway along my month-long course through WriterU on Yahoo! groups. The course is called “Laws of Motion: Plotting the Compelling Story” and the instructor is Laura Baker.

Maybe I really am a character in somebody else’s story. If stories are about characters going through struggles and learning something, I sure am struggling, so the learning part must be around the corner!

I’m having trouble with describing Neal’s basic nature, and with pinning down what my story is about (and what it’s *really* about, Laura makes a distinction).

One of the reasons it’s hard is that I’m not sure what aspects of someone’s personality make up their basic nature. To me, at this point in my WIP’s development, at the start of it all Neal *wants* a better life but feels helpless to go after it. He says it’s because life conspires to keep him in the barrio, but secretly he’s afraid that he’s really just a gangbanger at heart, nothing more.

I could say that my story is about discovering that while none of us is perfect, we all deserve a life worth living. Or, as Neal puts it, “Live like you mean it.” Or maybe the story’s about:

The way we grew up doesn’t have to pigeonhole us for our entire lives (or, as Lola puts it, “You are more than where you came from”)
Finding inner strength when we think we’re least able to find it.
The blooms of friendship and love make their thorns worthwhile.

See, most stories are “about” more than one thing. That’s why reading is so wonderful. I think my story Street Glass is about certain things, but readers may think it’s about other things – and they’d be right. Good stories are about lots of things, minor and major.

Laura says that your story is about what your main characters has to *do*, his struggle. What it’s *really* about is the personal discovery that character makes because of the struggle. I think I’ve got that right.

So, my WIP could be about a young man (if you hear a sound at this point, it’s Neal. He always laughs when I refer to him as a “young man”) struggling with wanting a better life but feeling that fate has decreed he can never be anything but a street thug.

And the story could *really* be about any of those things listed above.

This is why some people pay fat bucks for an editor: personalized attention, narrow focus on *your* story. *sigh* I miss the days when somebody in the biz would spot potential in a writer and help them develop that into a successful first novel. It just figures that that blew over before I got serious about being published.

Am I gonna give up? No. Why not? Because Neal has important things to say, and I’m the only one who can help him with that. I’m glad he picked me J

hiya

2011-07-17T13:55:00.000-04:00

A big welcome to Sunburstcp! I'm so glad you joined our little group, and hope to see a comment or two from ya.

I have the feeling I've forgotten to say Hi to somebody else, so if that's you, please know I didn't mean to overlook you. As the Rolling Stones so aptly put it, "What a drag it is getting old!"

Bob Kernen's "Building Better Plots", part 22

2011-07-15T11:26:00.000-04:00

In discussing how to construct an effective climax in chapter 5, Kernen says that when many authors reach that point in their stories, they’re tempted to throw in every additional problem they’ve thought of (and maybe couldn’t work in earlier). They think that tossing in new stuff heightens the drama. All that manages to happen is that the moment they’ve spent 75% of the novel building up to becomes muddy with so much happening, and readers trying to figure out where all this new stuff came from.

Sometimes writers will find new connections to earlier plot points when they’re working through the climax. Then, they put things in because it seems to add dimension to the climax. Usually that just results in the same confusion.

I need to sit with my outline and pinpoint the climax, because right now it could be either of these moments:

Neal and his mother have a conversation about their lives
Sandy and friends break Neal out of the place he’s locked up in and Neal tries to kill his father

Either could have enough emotional drama to be the climax. I’m tending toward the second scene, however. But again, more stuff happens after that, and it’s absolutely critical to Neal’s character development. I am waffling over whether or not to include the scene where Neal confronts the mayor and shames him into agreeing to tour some of the barrios still scarred from rioting. If I show some of the actual touring, that will illuminate the social theme of the novel as well as show the kind of man Neal’s grown into.

Decisions, decisions. What is the point of highest emotion? Where do the threads come together? I have to laugh. Kernen says that “not every idea, not even every good one, has a place in a given story”. Do I have to throw out some of my plot? I’m between a rock and a particularly hard place here, because this is my first effort at publication. If I had at least one successful thing out there, I would have a bit more leeway with how long the novel is. I could work on getting something else published first, but that would take additional months (if not years). The longer the themes in “Street Glass” go without light shed on them, the less interested people may be.

Mainly though, I’ve spent the past two years on this project, and while I don’t feel that would become wasted time if I moved to something else, I have the momentum to keep going.

In order to sort this out, I’ve written a summary of the scene involving Neal and his parents, starting when Neal’s swept up in the L.A. rioting and ending at LaGuardia airport in New York City . In that short summary, I can easily sense rising tension, a climax, then a wrap-up. That’s disappointing, because so much could happen after that! Well, how necessary is that stuff?

I’ll adjourn here to hash this out on my own time. I *will* resolve the issue before the next post in this series. J

"Building Better Plots" by Robert Kernen, pt 21

2011-07-09T17:51:00.000-04:00

Kernen compares writing to music, which really resonates with me. I’ve realized that point before. Each has its own sort of rhythm and guidelines; each requires its artists to tune in to their own creative process. Just as some musical effects are meant to be felt rather than heard, some writing effects are meant to impact readers subconsciously.

There’s “sledgehammer” writing and there’s metal music. There are stories you could describe as love songs, and there are ballads in music. Lots of similarities. As I’ve paid close attention to some songs with lyrics I particularly admire, I’ve come to realize how hard it must be to write a few lines that can only fill a 2 to 4 minute slot, leave room for music, yet impact listeners deeply. (Okay party songs are probably easier as far as lyrics, but then you’ve got to come up with punchy, edgy, or danceable music.) You think writing 70,000 coherent and striking words, put together in a unique way, is tough? Try to create a tiny story using form guidelines that fits into a 2 to 4 minute timeframe, has music with a strong hook, and present that in a unique way. And rhyme it, too! I’ve written things I think of as lyrics, though I’ve never written music, and I can tell you—sometimes (like fiction writing) it flows out of you already put together, other times you have to rehash and put everything back in the blender. Fiction writers haven’t cornered the market on doing something difficult with words.

I just needed to say that. It helps me feel connected to writers of various kinds. A lot of people have published books, some that might have benefited from further editing that became big sellers anyway, and a lot of people have written songs that don’t especially move me but get bunches of people up and dancing. If they can succeed, I can too. I’m putting effort into succeeding.

Anyway. Kernen says that just as musicians learn the time signature of a piece of music, writers can learn to “hear” the rhythm of their own stories. Finding that rhythm helps you to keep things moving forward and does help you find the best places to put plot points. I worried about having Neal at home for six months without the band, because I was afraid I didn’t have compelling enough plot points to carry that much time. I was afraid of breaking the rhythm by not having him continue to interact with the other major characters.

Then I realized that he doesn’t just sit there thinking the whole time, he interacts with other people. Plus, the band sort of shows up for radio interviews, then physically shows up when they decide to move to another house. Each appearance is brief but reminds readers what those characters are like.

Kernen suggests some exercises for finding fiction rhythm. Take several short stories, and write down each major plot point and when it occurs. Notice how much distance is between them, and the intensity of the points.

Move on to plays or novels. Make note of each major point, but before you reach the climax, try to predict when it’ll happen.

Take the same novel or play and try to tune in to its rhythm. See if you can figure out how the author controls the rhythm to keep readers on their toes and on the edge of their seats.

I recommend doing that. Having said that, I’m not going to do it right now, because I feel it would throw me off the rhythm of working on my plot. I’m in a groove now and I can sense that too long an interruption will spoil it. But it’s helpful to study successful works. Published authors continue to read, partly for that reason. They know they can always improve.

The rhythm of this blog series continues next time with thoughts on endings—when to apply the brakes to a runaway muse train.

pt 20 of Robert Kernen's "Building Better Plots"

2011-07-02T12:33:00.000-04:00

Who’s seen the Bela Lugosi version of the movie Dracula? I absolutely love it. I’ve seen it a couple dozen times. Even though I know exactly what’s going to happen, I watch anyway, because of the way suspense is handled. Since it’s a visual medium, I feel the creepiness even when none of the characters talk. The physical set, gestures and expressions are exquisite. Lugosi’s “I never drink . . . wine” is in my top 3 list of favorite movie lines.

Way harder to do in a written medium. If we wanted to do something easy, we’d take up flower arranging. Kernen reminds us that suspense is necessary to a great dramatic story, but we have to be very careful with it. Too much suspense and readers feel continually on edge. Too little of course doesn’t work either. If you increase suspense at the wrong time, the natural flow of the story is interrupted and readers may be tossed out of the story. Back to juggling on that tightrope again.

Kernen says a couple very important things about suspense. “Creating suspense is all about revealing part of the picture . . . Knowing a little bit about a situation, an audience will almost always desire to know more . . .”

And: “Suspense is also the clever balance of timing. It is giving the audience a piece of information and then knowing just how long you can keep them waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

Ways of doing this are the “time bomb”; the “puzzle”; and “truncating”, where you start a scene after some major event has happened or end the scene before that event occurs. An example of “truncating” is showing a couple in a heated argument and one pulls a gun. Then you cut to another scene where the character who was threatened is noticeably missing. Did the person get killed or not? Imagine the suspense if said character is your MC.

This is something I’ll have to work on a little at a time. I have some plot points that lend themselves to building suspense, but doing so I think isn’t something I can describe beforehand. It’s a very fine line. Some readers will “get it”, some will probably wish I’d hurry up, and some may think I’m going too fast. I won’t have specific examples for using suspense until I get to chapters where it’s relevant.

Kernen does recommend planting the seed of suspense that will carry readers to the climax early, even before the inciting incident. I can do that with Neal thinking about life with Trist outside of the gang, then dismissing the thought because he’ll never be free of the gang. Readers will remember that when Sandy offers to help Neal.

Also, the way I set up Neal’s eventual decision to leave the gang, I include a mention that the gang *will* try to kill him once they realize he’s left, so that bit of suspense always hangs over the characters and the readers.

That’s just one thread of tension. I’ll need to bring others out to keep readers immersed.

Ah, I thought of another example, using the “truncating” technique. I’ve discovered that Neal breaks out of rehab with his friend but then rethinks the move. I plan to drop the scene at that point, then switch to Sandy’s POV where he hears that Neal has returned to rehab.

Awesome. The more I read in Kernen’s book, the stronger my feeling gets that I’m solidly on the right track. But the devil is in the details, so I don’t expect everything to come easy from now on.

Next post, swinging to the rhythm.

Guest post: Success is a multi-faceted word

2011-06-24T14:22:00.001-04:00

A guest post from Kathy Bennett, who recently self-published her first book. I think everybody, non-writers included, can gain some inspiration from this tenacious lady :) Her post is a bit long, but it's worth the read. Those of us who think 'Oh my life is so busy, I'll never be able to get anything published, I don't have time to put into writing' will learn a thing or two.

I'm excited to help get the word out about her book. You can see the trailer for her novel on Youtube: A Dozen Deadly Roses .
Kathy's blog is at www.kathybennett.com/blog/. Pay her a visit!

From LAPD Cop to Author

I was a police officer for the City of Los Angeles for twenty-one years. The road to becoming a cop wasn’t easy. I’m not a large person; I’m not very athletic, and not particularly intimidating. I also had the disadvantage of starting my career at an ‘older’ age – my mid-thirties.

But what I had going for me, was a strong determination and desire to make my dream of being an LAPD officer a reality. After achieving that goal, and being named Officer of the Year in 1997, I needed a new challenge. That’s how I became a writer.

I didn’t seriously start writing until 1998 – and then, I wasn’t very good. I hadn’t learned my craft. I attended writer’s conferences, took classes, entered writing contests, and used all those experiences to hone my skills. I became a better writer, but still I floundered.

Also in this time period, in addition to working 40-60 hours a week, I was the primary caregiver for my brother who’d suffered a major stroke and was left partially paralyzed. While his care side-tracked my writing, I have never regretted the time I spent helping him to live out his life with dignity and as independently as possible.

In 2008, at the RWA National Conference, I met a writer who invited me to join her critique group. This is where my writing career took a huge turn. The critique group was invaluable in forcing me to write regularly. They showed me my strengths and weaknesses, helping me fix wrong things while enhancing the right things in my writing.

I’d written a good story, and with the help of my critique group, A Dozen Deadly Roses started to garner attention on the contest circuit and from agents. But I started hearing a lot about self-publishing. I did some research, and the more I heard, the more I liked. Two or three years ago, self-publishing your own book labeled a writer as someone who ‘couldn’t make it’, or as a ‘loser’. The new e-readers allowed some authors to become successful and make good money.

But, for me, there’s a bigger draw to self-publishing besides the possibility of making a lot of money. The lure is the ability to control my own destiny. I liked the idea if my book was a hit, it was due to my hard work. If the book flopped, that was my responsibility too.

In June of this year, I self-published my debut novel, a romantic suspense, titled, A Dozen Deadly Roses. The book’s been out about two weeks. I’m pleased with the results. I’ve received some marvelous reviews and made moderate sales.

But it wasn’t a solitary effort to provide my book to readers. I hired a book editor, a book cover designer, and also someone to help format the book to e-reader standards. This was money I shelled out prior to earning a dime. But there’ve been many others who’ve helped make my writing dream a reality too.

I’m sure I’ll leave someone out, but they include my critique group, several beta readers, contest judges, writers, friends but most importantly, my family. My daughter has been instrumental in listening, but mostly being a cheerleader – when I needed cheering the most.

Then there’s my husband. The support from him is extraordinary. I’ve spent a lot of money over the past thirteen years pursuing my dream of being a published author. I’ve attended dozens of conferences, purchased numerous computers, writing classes, and countless supplies. Through it all, he never flinches when I say I’m going to do A,B, or C or I’m going to buy X,Y, or Z. He just smiles and asks when I’m going to make my first million.

I retired earlier this year from the LAPD to help take care of my mother who suffers from Alzheimer’s disease. But I’m also spending time these days promoting myself via social networking, blogging, teaching classes, and speaking at conferences. I’m getting some writing done too. I’m happy.

While writing is not an easy career, I can do it because I’ve brought along a skill-set I used when becoming a cop – determination and desire.

Robert Kernen’s “Building Better Plots”, part 19

2011-06-18T11:47:00.002-04:00

Exposition—that age-old demon who afflicts experienced writers as well as new ones. It’s like the stick that you realized was no good after all, so you threw it away. But look out! It’s a boomerang, and it whacked you in the noggin!

I see writers who haven’t shown their work to strangers much shovel in so much backstory and explanation that it reads more like stream of consciousness. I did it too, so I understand the impulse. Inexperienced writers seem convinced that readers need to know a whole bunch of stuff before they can fully appreciate the story. They don’t realize that when readers get caught up in a story, it’s because the plot—yes, this again—steadily moves forward. It doesn’t stop in the middle of running for your life, and say, “Well, pull up a chair, I want to tell you about the childhood of the guy who’s trying to kill you. And, well, about his parents’ upbringing too, because you can’t understand him without that.”

How about right now we run, and you talk later?

The idea of not dropping in chunks of backstory has been talked about in other places, so I won’t belabor it here. But I do like the way Kernen discusses it, so if you read his book, you won’t waste your time with this section. His main point, perhaps, is that in real life we get to know people gradually, often over a period of years. In fiction, you can mimic that by disclosing things about major characters a little at a time.

I am not fond of one thing he does: using “relevant revelations”. Mentally I tripped over that a few times, and that interrupted the flow!

I do want to mention something else that Kernen touches on. Writing is not a straightforward depiction of reality. Even in a memoir, when you expect more realism than in fiction, you have to tweak *how* and *what* you say to fit the medium. Ever listen to somebody relating information in such a boring way that you covered up yawns as they droned on? You don’t want to make readers feel that way, because they’ll simply put your book down and leave it there.

My friend Ray writes plays. He doesn’t do comedies, but he is the funniest man east of the Mississippi. He can tell a story about the most dull and mundane thing, but spin it so you laugh so hard you literally can’t breathe. You have to make reality more interesting than it is. You have to compress some things, draw out others, talk about things from a different perspective.

What I like to say when I critique is, We write for readers, not other characters.

When I write a scene for the sheer fun of it, I let characters play freely off each other. I can follow the reasoning of their conversations, but people reading it would get lost in places. Every few days I work on the scene of Sandy’s wedding. It starts with him and Neal bouncing their particular quirks off each other. It helps me understand how both characters feel that day, but a lot of it wouldn’t go into a manuscript draft. Long sections *are only interesting to me*.

You gotta face it, champs. A story idea grabbed you, the characters burned themselves into your soul, and the whole thing won’t let you go. This is *good*, but nobody can feel it the way you do. So please, don’t drive potential readers crazy by telling them long paragraphs of stuff they really don’t care about.

It’s hard. I know. I am so in love with my characters that I could write hundreds of scenes without any plot at all and I’d still love it. But I won’t subject readers to that. Slowly, slowly, I’m learning to condense and delete. I don’t have to throw away that stuff because I do find it helpful, but look at it this way.

If you cut some stuff *from the manuscript* that helps you learn about your characters, the end product will look smooth as glass. Readers will think you were born with such an intuitive understanding of your characters and the writing process that writing well is easy for you.

Fiction writers are, after all, liars ;)

Next week: Another guest post, this time by retired Los Angeles police officer Kathy Bennett, who is anticipating the upcoming release of her first novel, "A Dozen Deadly Roses". You can read about it here: www.kathybennett.com/ I think a lot of writers are interested in the backstory of other writers who have made the enviable transformation to author, and Kathy will tell us a bit about what it took for her to reach that goal.

shout out

2011-06-15T17:52:00.000-04:00

A stuffed smiling virtual penguin to Lindsey for following my blog J

I'm thinking "cool" things cuz it's pretty warm here today, for a change!

Lindsey, it's blingy of you to come along for the ride!

Scenes added to blog

2011-06-10T16:59:00.009-04:00

I've included three scenes, each on a separate page. The title of each begins with "Scene" and adds a phrase descriptive of that particular scene. I have Neal and Lola, Sophie's Christmas Tree and Sandy and Neal Before The Wedding.

Each scene was started to help me get a clearer picture of the characters and how they relate to each other. I stuck them in my blog to give readers a feel for my writing and for the characters. As of now, only the first scene "Neal and Lola" is planned for inclusion in a manuscript. It needs additional work but you can get a sense of the personalities of both characters.

I love exploring character interaction. Most of the first scenes I ever wrote with these people were just to see what would happen when they met up. Over the years, they've surprised me and pissed me off, made me laugh and taught me things about human nature. It's addicting to throw characters together and watch the fireworks. I'm sure Freud would have something to say about it!

I think Sandy and Neal are my favorite characters, but the rest of the band and a few others come in as close seconds. Which of your characters motivate you the most?

And a big "hiya" to Lindsey! Thanks for joining my blog. J

Part 18 of "Building Better Plots" and, well, a rant

2011-06-04T11:47:00.000-04:00

In discussing the timing of major plot points, Kernen says that many of today’s movies are “like high-speed freight trains, careening violently from one explosive plot point to another, never giving the audience a chance to relax, reflect or recover”. He describes that as a “sledgehammer approach to storytelling”. I’m guessing producers use it to hide weak plots. I suppose that if all you want in a movie or novel is non-stop flash and bang, you won’t mind that approach. Personally, I prefer the books I read and most of the movies I see to offer insights as well. If you’ve read this far along my series on Kernen’s book, I bet you feel the same.

While plot points should continually move readers toward the climax of the tale, it’s okay to have some slower moments. That lets readers catch their breath and have events sink in, just like the characters. When readers can think about what happened, they can see how characters’ reactions make sense, adding to a feeling of realism. Of course, for that to work, your characters’ reactions actually have to make sense!

I have to laugh at how Kernen says to make sure each plot point keeps the story moving, doesn’t drop the tension altogether, yet sometimes gives everybody breathing space. Again, you want me to juggle 20 eggs while moving along a tightrope??

I seriously wonder how many published authors sit down with a half-formed outline and ask themselves if they have the right number of points that increase tension, the right amount of points that show characterization and just a bit of backstory, the right number of points that pull together subplots with the main plot, all while keeping most readers interested and never bored or feeling assaulted by things happening too fast.

This seems like a fair amount of subjectivism, to me. I’ve read many times how a manuscript was repeatedly passed up, only to be read by somebody at the office who doesn’t normally read manuscripts, who then brought it to the boss’ attention, who then bought the darn thing. Is it really worth spending so much of my time on something, when the people whose attention I try to catch may not feel like giving my work a second glance because they’re running late to meet their friend for lunch?

“Ahhh, this one’s in Courier New, I’m tired of looking at that font today. Toss that one out.”

“Damn, I couldn’t sleep last night. Toss this whole batch of submissions out.”

J.K. Rowling, as I understand it, got a lucky break. Somebody else in the office read her manuscript and said to the boss, “Hey, this is good, you need to read it.”

I bet J.K. didn’t sit at her computer and say, “Now do I have the plot points spaced properly?” Sure, she had editorial help, but that was after the MS got accepted. Something about that first manuscript caught somebody’s attention.

I’d be happy with a fraction of Rowling’s readership. I’ve still got the “geis” feeling about my work in progress. Things need to be said, people need to be encouraged to think about a whole slew of stuff. It feels less like something I want to do than something that needs doing.

What about you? Do you think your project is worth slaving over a hot computer and braving the subjective weather in the publishing industry? What is that drives you to work it every chance you get, week after week? Is your WIP mainly to entertain people, or do you have a higher purpose? Or are you just doing it because it’s fun?

When we meet again, I’ll offer a perfectly acceptable reason for lying.

"Building Better Plots" by Robert Kernen, part 17

2011-05-29T11:06:00.000-04:00

Kernen didn’t say I had to have 6 - 10 major plot points on my first effort at listing them. I have 20. Okay, so I need to cut! Actually, it’s a true miracle that my first pass had *only* 20. After a lot of hemming and hawing and gnashing of teeth, here are my 10 points:

1. Spurred by a beating, and an outside offer of help from Sandy, Neal leaves his street gang.
2. Neal finds his lovers and his kids, all murdered by the gang.
3. Sandy admits to feeling responsible for the deaths of his cousin Renee and of his friend Greg.
4. Neal gives up on drug rehab once, then realizes he has to try harder. Drugs continue to be one part of his past that he can’t seem to leave behind.
5. Neal agrees to Sandy’s suggestion of starting a non-profit, and being an active and equal partner.
6. Neal begins a life-changing relationship with Laurie. Her death sparks a serious falling-out with Sandy.
7. Neal is caught in the Rodney King rioting, and is kidnapped by Tony Esteban, his biological father. While in captivity, Neal meets up with his mother, who abandoned him at age 10.
8. Sandy struggles with the possibility that he can’t save Neal just as he couldn’t save Renee and Greg years earlier.
9. Neal reverts to some gang-like behavior when Tony threatens his friends’ lives; Sandy and April fear how deep the reverting has gone.
10. Neal experiences his first tour as a member of the band. When he gets home, he’s frustrated by the lack of rebuilding after the riots and twists the mayor’s arm till he agrees to a tour of hard-hit barrios. (This point will probably change by the time my outline is finished.)

I cheated a bit by having more than one sentence for some points. I’m still not happy with this list, because I really feel I’ve left out big things that move the plot forward. Maybe professional agents and editors would come up with different points for me. At least it’s a starting place. I’m keeping my list of 20 points, because I think the two lists are important lessons in cutting.

And damn it, I feel like I’m giving my plot away here! :P

Kernen says settings should be chosen with each scene in mind. He uses the example of Hamlet. The prince confronts his mother about her rush to marry Hamlet’s uncle, and he does it in his mother’s chamber—an intimate setting that amplifies Hamlet’s emotions, and is the same room where his mother slept with his father.

In my WIP, Neal and Sandy have their first confrontation—about staying with the gang or leaving—in the gang’s rattletrap hangout. In his comfort zone, Neal seems to hold all the cards in the scene. Sandy got himself lost and doesn’t know what neighborhood he’s in, yet he meets Neal’s belligerence head on. Suddenly Neal feels less sure of things, though he’s still in his own territory.

If that scene happened in Sandy’s neighborhood, the impact would be lessened. Some years later, Neal is kidnapped by his biological father, whom he’s only met recently. He’s hauled across the country in handcuffs and leg chains. He’s worse for wear, having been caught in the Rodney King rioting and been kicked around by cops. That’s all bad enough, because he’s treated like the gangbanger he thought he no longer was.

He’s in his father’s prison (a stinking, windowless room) with his ankles chained together, in pain from beatings. It’s here Neal faces his mother. She tells him he’s better than where he was born, but at that moment, all he knows is that he tried to get away from his past, and it’s swallowing him whole.

This scene would also have less impact on both characters and readers if it happened somewhere else. Plus, even minor scenes benefit from being in the right setting. See Becca’s *awesome* guest post for more on setting.

Next post—a bit of a rant about the sometimes hit-or-miss publishing industry. I learn something from my own rant J

Robert Kernen’s “Building Better Plots”, part 16

2011-05-22T09:12:00.000-04:00

“Many writers construct stories without ever clearly identifying [major plot points] and without looking closely at how they propel the audience forward.”

Argument accepted. This has been my problem, as mentioned in the previous post in this series. I had a bunch of scenes, some related, some not, most written independently of each other. There’s more to a good novel than just a bunch of related scenes. The relationship must be *intimate*.

Kernen suggests identifying each major plot point in my story. For a novel, he says I should have 6 to 10 such points. Ihhhh, wow. That’s all? I’ve started a tentative outline for this draft; I have almost 2 pages and I’m still describing early stuff. Granted, some of what I’ve included is to jog my memory for when I actually get to the writing part, but apparently I’m now confronted with my another problem I’ve struggled with before: condensing. I have to understand the details of how characters get from point A to point B, and I have to include that in my outline so I know how to write each scene. However, that doesn't mean *all* of that is important for anybody else.

Kernen describes the objective of major plot points this way:

How does this event advance the story?
Does it lead the protagonist and the audience toward the climax?
How does this event increase the tension and suspense of the story?
How does this event affect the development of the characters?
Where does this event need to lead the protagonist emotionally/mentally for the plot point to be successful?

Maybe I’ll copy those questions onto another sticky note for my computer screen. If you don’t have a program for sticky notes, a physical note will work.

Kernen then goes on to list some general examples of early, middle and late plot points, such as: the protagonist questioning the status quo; a secondary (and previously neutral) character showing herself to be an enemy; and the protagonist finding a hidden strength. As I read each of Kernen’s examples, I immediately think of scenes I’ve already written. On one hand, that seems good. On the other, I worry that I haven’t put those things in the best places. I guess I should think through what my major plot points are.

I am kind of confused as to exactly what counts as major in my own project. For example, everything starts after Neal leaves his street gang, but is that the first plot point? Without Sandy’s involvement, Neal wouldn’t have made that move. Those two characters interact with each other for the rest of the novel. Is Sandy’s offer of help the first plot point, or should it be included in Neal’s action?

Spurred by a beating, and an outside offer of help, Neal leaves his gang.

Or is it:

Sandy offers to help Neal. (Is that a hair I need to split now?)
Neal leaves his gang.

— then additional points that show how those two continue to feed off each other? Wait, here’s a clue. My plot points should ideally pull off several goals, and the strongest ones will have an intersection of forces. I should bring together setting, characters, current subplots, and the timing.

What Kernen doesn’t mention is that the relationship among these elements has to be clear to me at all times, but when they first show up, readers may not recognize them as important. That’s okay, because it allows for “ah ha” moments. “This character tried to sabotage her sister’s job interview. Ah ha, that’s why she said, during the birthday party days before, that sometimes you have to take fate into your own hands. She actually hates her sister.”

Okay. I’m off to mull over my plot points. I’ll have a report next time.

Coming up — Kernen didn’t say I had to have 6 - 10 major plot points on my *first effort* at listing them. I have 20. :D

Part 15 of Robert Kernen's "Building Better Plots"

2011-05-17T10:43:00.000-04:00

“Each plot point should build upon the one before it to create a gradually growing cumulative effect.” There’s a concept. Novels I thought were great had that impact partly because I saw how each new major plot point grew out of things that came before. Some things were surprises, but even those made sense. Without points C, D, and E, plot point F would never happen.

Characters’ personalities play into it as well. One of the things I love about Katherine Kurtz’ novels is that I can see how and why characters act and react as they do. Person A hears that something happened and goes postal, and Person B gets killed. Person C hears the same news but reacts by getting a group together to talk about how to respond to the event. At the meeting, they decide to do something that Person B could have warned them will be disastrous, but because Person B is now dead, disaster is *not* averted.

Things link together, like falling dominoes.

I’ve had trouble with this, because up until January 2009, I had bunches of scenes that were written mostly independently of each other. I wrote during the first six months of that year with a better sense of things happening based on what came before, but I still didn’t have a coherent sense of *plot*.

And yet, the further along I got, there were times when I’d think, Hey, X could happen now, because that’s logical after U, V, and W happened. Once I hit on Neal getting caught in the 1992 Los Angeles rioting and kidnapped by his biological father, I had a strong sense of holding a gift in my hands. Frankly, when I wrote the first draft of that scene, I didn’t think at all about what might happen afterward. I had no idea that scene would become pivotal. It crystallizes everything Neal has been through up to that point.

So I believe in writing “by the seat of one’s pants”. Yet, for the fantasy short story I’m also working on, I’ve been fanatic about planning major things out and having a ton of backstory that isn’t intended to make it directly into the plot. I guess I’m the writerly equivalent of ambidextrous. I’m sure I’m not the only one. Stories can be like snowflakes: no two alike, from planning to finished product.
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Kernen defines plot beats as “distinct movements of the plot, or individual sequences that make up discreet pieces of the story”. These beats should be like short stories that are linked to create the novel. Each should have rising action, a climax, and a resolution.

This is supposed to make it easier for the writer to handle all the plot points and subplots, but also offers breaks from all the drama for readers. I see the wisdom in that, but wow, really? I’m expected to plot out short story arcs that always bring me closer to the Grand Climax? You want me to juggle twenty eggs *while* walking a tightrope??

And people wonder why writers drink.

I’m not sure those little arcs are *always* necessary. I wish my WIP was an action or adventure piece, where the protagonist has to get from physical Point A to physical Point Z. It’s got to be easier to move toward the climax in every chapter when your characters have to physically travel.

Would you believe I’ve read over this post to see if it has a stated goal and then moves toward that goal? Plotting out blog posts?? My muse says that’s good, but I just think I’m fried. ;)

Next time . . . If you were a major plot point, what would you look like?

Look who's on Celebrity Apprentice!

2011-05-06T17:53:00.000-04:00

While watching “Celebrity Apprentice” recently, I noticed Trump always has at least a couple participants with a career in rock music. Neal would be good at this show. Half the reason he’s been in the public eye since the late ’80s is his charity, Canción de Vida. The other half, of course, is his connection to the band Sylvyr Star.

Who would I like to see Neal paired with? Trump always has a “mens’ team” and a “womens’ team” so let’s run with that. I’d pick—

Dennis Rodman
Arnold Schwartzenegger
David Bowie . . .
Ozzy Osbourne! Nah, Neal would bond with him, and they’d stick up for each other no matter how stupid either of them got.
Paul Hogan
Hulk Hogan too, just for the fun of it
Snoop Dogg? If he kept lighting joints, Neal might slug him ;)
Robin Williams, in his Mork days
possibly Jim Morrison, with all that implies
Craig Ferguson

On the womens’ team, people I think would be interesting counterpoints—

Paris Hilton (“Yeah, there’s not many lights on upstairs, but she’s hot, y’know?”)
Cyndi Lauper (I’d bring her back because she’s bossy and I'd love to see Neal struggle with not telling her to shut the F up)
Dana Carvey’s Church Lady
Betty White
Tina Fey
Paula Deen

I’d love to have a group of strong, kick-ass women show up Neal occasionally. By 2011, he’s learned that he doesn’t know everything and that women are more than eye candy, but he’s competitive and proud. He’d be pissed if his team lost to a group of women more than once.

I can hear it now —

The Donald: I’m hearing some not so good things, Neal. You take action without clearing anything with your project manager.
Neal: I’m not talkative.
The Donald: Your project manager this time around - Arnold - says you’re not a team player.
Neal: I don’t think he’s a good judge of that. I’ve split the last twenty years between heading a major non-profit and being an active part of a successful band. Arnold governed California during some of its worst years. Who’s got the better ability to get things done?
The Donald: I hear you had some sort of altercation with Snoop?
Neal: Oh, that was nothing. Philosophical differences.
The Donald: Snoop needed four stitches. I don’t think he’d call that philosophical.
Neal: I apologized, he accepted, we’re good now. Long as he takes a separate car.

What do you guys think? Pick one of your main characters who might provide some fireworks when mixed with two or three celebrities, and share your ideas.

May the best team win!

"Building Better Plots" by Robert Kernen, part 14

2011-04-29T14:00:00.000-04:00

“How long the [inciting] incident lasts is just as important as when it occurs.” This too is something I’ve seen in a few stories on Critique Circle. The writer wants to be subtle about their Inciting Incident, and stretches it out over three or four scenes. Well, being too subtle for my own good is something I was guilty of myself, and maybe still am. I will say that for the Inciting Incident for my Work In Progress, “Street Glass”, I’ve always known it’d be something obvious. Originally it was the scene between Sandy and Neal where Neal holds a knife against Sandy’s throat but Sandy doesn’t wimp out. Instead, he offers to help. Surprised that somebody takes him seriously, Neal thinks about the offer.

Critting and being critted made me realize that I need to show a bit of how Neal got to the point of being able to accept help. Neal handcuffs Sandy, takes his wallet, and scares the crap out of him by pressing a blade against his throat and demanding that Sandy beg for his life. Then Neal hauls him to his gang’s hangout where the gang’s shot caller (leader) terrifies him again. After exchanging words, Neal again threatens to slit Sandy’s throat. Why would somebody like that care about hearing “I want to help you”? He seems pretty happy robbing and threatening people.

While I’m at it, I also need to show why Sandy wants to help somebody like that, but that’s a separate issue.

That’s why I have to show Neal’s personality and mindset before that all happens. I might do that by adding a scene with him and Trist, who is Coyote’s (the shot caller) girlfriend. Neal’s got a love/hate relationship with her, and a short (page or less) scene with her would show Neal’s humanity. Then, when Coyote pounds him, readers will feel the unfairness of the beat-down. They’ll understand that Neal feels completely helpless when he meets Sandy, and that’s why he behaves so brutally.

But that’s not the Inciting Incident, that’s set-up. Geez, do you guys ever feel overwhelmed by categories and descriptions and labels? I do sometimes, but kept to a reasonable level, they are helpful. If I can pull it off properly, by the time Sandy offers to help Neal, readers will wonder if he’ll accept or if he’s given up on his life. Then, when he accepts, readers should realize there’s a long road ahead.

And again, this should all happen pretty quick. I’m thinking that by the end of chapter two, Sandy should be in the gang’s hangout, and he should already have had one conversation with Neal. I’ve got a lot to get to once Neal breaks with the gang.

Kernen warns us not to make the Inciting Incident so dramatic and intense that everything else feels like an anticlimax. That’s something I hadn’t considered. For example, if Neal tries to stand up for himself when Coyotes thumps him but other gang members join Coyote in beating him, Trist makes a move to break it up but gets punched too, then somebody bursts in saying a rival gang is on their way waving semi-automatics, readers will feel let down when Neal and Sandy talk. Oh, give up the gang? they’ll ask. But that’s the exciting part!

Instead, by making the beat-down between just two characters, giving Neal only minor injuries, and keeping it to three or four paragraphs, I keep the focus on the Inciting Incident. I don’t set the bar so high that the rest of the story reads like afterthoughts.

I like to compare writing well to walking a tightrope. Performers who really do that practice long, long hours. You can’t expect to juggle six or ten things without practicing, either. Rewriting, editing, and revising really do have to happen. I’ve been working on this project for a solid two years now, and I’m not done yet. That’s fine. I could probably find somebody to publish a less-than-good effort, because I’ve read some not-very-good books. But why do that? I want to touch people, to move them, to make them think, and that doesn’t happen with half-assed efforts.

Next entry . . . Juggling eggs while tightrope walking.

Robert Kernen’s “Building Better Plots”, part 13

2011-04-25T16:34:00.000-04:00

Incite: provoke, inflame, ignite. These suggest the sense of intensity necessary, I think, for the moment that sends a main character off on the road through the novel. It doesn’t *have* to be something as dramatic as a beat-down by a street gang, but it should grab readers and pull them right into the story. It’s pretty much the first thing we notice when we pick up a new book and open it. Okay, maybe *first* we notice the main character, but doesn’t meeting that person make you think, “Why am I reading about you? What do you *do*?”

Before I start reading Kernen’s chapter 3 “Inciting Incident”, I’ll state that for Neal, his beat-down by his gang’s leader is the action that crystallizes his need to get out of the gang. That prepares him to grab a way out when it presents itself. We’ll see if I change my view after reading the chapter.

Kernen does say the Inciting Incident should happen a short way into the story rather than on page one, but this book was published in 1999 and that statement may reflect an attitude that’s passed. But that’s not a huge issue, really. As an unpublished (and therefore unproven) writer, agents aren’t going to want 100,000 words from me. I have a fair amount of plot to spin out so my Incident needs to happen fairly quick. My most recent draft has the beating start in paragraph one, though I could conceivably move that down a bit so readers can meet Neal before he gets thumped. That might make it easier for readers to sympathize.

Reading a few paragraphs along, I can compare the Incident to, let’s say, a hammer floating in space. When that hapless astronaut first takes his hand off it, it just sort of hovers there. There’s nothing to move it forward. But then the astronaut creates an Inciting Incident by bumping the hammer, and it spins off recklessly into the starlit gloom stretching out before it. It’ll keep going until a fleck of space dust bumps it again, sending it in another direction.

*sigh* If I had the head for science, I’d write sci-fi. I love to read it though. C.J. Cherryh, Andre Norton, yeah. Space opera is as close as I can get.

Ooops, sorry. Bit of ADD there. Kernen says that many writers wait too long to get to their Incident, because of that issue referred to a few posts back: inexperienced writers feel they have to introduce the Main Character fully, explain why he’s in that particular room, what his hopes and dreams are, why readers should identify and sympathize with him, build suspense by hinting that Something Big really is right on the threshold, and generally talk too much.

I want to spend a minute on this, because it’s important. As I crit stories on Critique Circle, I see this problem come up often. I did it too, so I understand the impulse to over-explain. We want to make sure our readers “get it”. We don’t realize that the best way to make sure of that is through word choice, and leaving stuff out. That’s the inexperienced stage.

If you set up the Incident, and plot points that come after, properly and pay close - obsessive - attention to word choice, and readers *will* get it. Think about novels you are totally in love with. I bet you feel that way because they grabbed you, kept you interested, didn’t bore you, moved the plot along without making you stop to admire the scenery, and by the end, had you hyperventilating for more.

You need some distance from your own work in order to see what should stay and what should go. I’m terrible with reducing my plot to short sentences, such as for a synopsis. Everything is important; haven’t I been working on only including stuff that’s important? If I leave out any action or reaction for a synopsis, then why is it in the manuscript?

It’s really not contradictory. The purpose of a synopsis is different than that of a manuscript. In a synopsis, we don’t need to know *why* stuff happened, only that it did. If we want to know why, we can read the manuscript.

I’ve pre-empted myself by going off on a tangent. Another bout of ADD. Next post will get to the elements of a good Inciting Incident.

"Building Better Plots" by Robert Kernen, part 12

2011-04-14T17:56:00.000-04:00

Questions to help make the best of obstacles:
3) “What is my character’s greatest fear? To draw the most depth from your protagonists, they must face their greatest fears.”
Interesting question. How are fears different from weaknesses? Couldn’t fears be weaknesses? What is Neal most afraid of? I know that what makes him angriest is being treated like dirt. Maybe his fear is that he’ll never really have a say in how he lives. Maybe that’s why he reacts so intensely when his biological father kidnaps him, because he faces his biggest fear and the thing that makes him angriest.

That plays into his friendship with Sandy. Neal values their friendship very much but is sick of people telling him what to do.

Wait, did I screw up? I listed Sandy’s fear under weakness! But no, I really think in his case, they’re the same.

4) “What is my character’s greatest strength?”
Neal turns his biggest weakness into his biggest strength. He grows into his role as co-founder of a non-profit group, to the point of getting the mayor of Los Angeles to do what he wants. He accepts who he really is.

I used to think Sandy was as clear-cut as Neal, but I realized I didn’t know him as well. I think Sandy’s greatest strength is his selflessness. That sounds cheesy, but it’s a real human quality. He gradually realizes Neal needs to make his own mistakes but that doesn’t mean Sandy can’t support him. He learns that by giving his girlfriend room to breathe, she’s more likely to stay around. He lets both her and Neal do what they need to, to be true to themselves.

Next comes a discussion of the four types of conflict:
A) protagonist vs. antagonist - pretty straightforward;
B) protagonist vs. nature - yeah, it’s just what you think, though keep in mind that it’s hard to do when you don’t have a sentient being for your main character to react against;
C) protagonist vs. society - this rings my bell! It’s the main type of conflict in “Street Glass”;
D) protagonist vs. self - the classic struggle against one’s own nature.

Kernen says you should have at least two types in your works to add depth and realism. I’m encouraged, because I can see all four in my WIP.
A) Neal’s biological father is a no-nonsense villain, though he doesn’t show his hand till the second half of the story;
B) a fire caused by hot Santa Ana winds takes the life of Neal’s girlfriend, leading to the meltdown of his friendship with Sandy;
C) this is the big one!
D) the struggle of the:

ex-addict fighting cravings;
ex-gangbanger against old habits;
more-or-less average guy unable to quite believe he deserves the good things that happen to him.

These last three descriptions are all of the same character.

Sandy’s a hard character for me to pin down, because while he’s certainly a major character, he doesn’t undergo the most drastic changes. Neal occasionally acts as antagonist toward him. The fire destroys the band’s house so that affects Sandy to some degree. Rather than fight against society, Sandy attempts to improve it. I’d say “protagonist vs. self” applies the most to Sandy because the problems he faces all stem from either his naiveté or his urge to control.

Awesome. I really feel I’m on the right track. However, I don’t think the hard work is all behind me. For one thing, I’m only on chapter 2 of 11!

Next post addresses the inciting incident, and involves an astronaut ;)

Guest Post: The Devil's in the (Setting) Details

2011-04-08T11:09:00.000-04:00

By Becca Puglisi of The Bookshelf Muse.

Settings are very important to me. Most of my love affairs with books and movies tie directly into where the characters lived, laughed, and suffered: Green Gables, Toad Hall, the Nostromo, Braveheart's Scotland. So when it comes to choosing or creating a setting for a project, I put a lot of thought into it.

Why is the setting so important? Because the character is strongly connected to it, whether positively or negatively, and any emotional connection that your character has will also create a connection with readers. Bilbo loved Hobbiton like it was a person instead of a place, and so we loved it and wanted it to endure for his sake. The Nostromo, the spaceship from the original Alien movie, was cluttered, narrow, and claustrophobic, and Ripley and her crew were stuck in there with an acid-bleeding, face-sucking monster that could be hiding in any of a million crevices. We wanted her to escape that ship almost as much as she did. The settings in these examples were key to helping the reader connect with the character. When choosing a setting, make sure your character connects with it, and your reader will, too.

But what then? Settings, by nature, are spacious and consist of a gajillion minute details, all of which you couldn't possibly and shouldn't ever include. So how do you decide which details to highlight in your story?

1. Details should be necessary. This should go without saying, but it's important to choose only details that are necessary to the scene or purpose you're trying to achieve. It's a hard line to walk. Too little description, and your reader is lost and confused. Too much, and they're skimming ahead, trying to end the pain. To find the right balance, ask yourself these questions: What's the purpose of this scene? What details need to be shared to accomplish this? Stick to those details and you'll achieve the goal of choosing the necessary details.

2. Details should do double-duty. A setting description should tell the reader about the character's surroundings, but it should also do more, like reveal the character's personality, mood, or biggest fear, foreshadow dire events to come, or provide a symbol that will reinforce a theme throughout the story. If you let your descriptions do double-duty, you'll have ample opportunities throughout the story to drop interesting tidbits here and there that will show your reader exactly where in the world the character is while revealing a little something else along with it.

3. Details should be specific. The shelf in Laura Ingalls Wilder's house didn't hold vague, nameless knick-knacks; the china shepherdess and a brown-and-white dog stood there, items that were especially dear to Laura because of their whimsy. They represented frivolity, and possibly expense, and were among the few impractical items in the house. I remembered those knick-knacks without having to look them up because they were specific and memorable. You don't want to be overly specific with every detail, or the story becomes an inventory of beautifully-described but pointless items. Pick a few substantial details in the scene and make them memorable.

I wish I could put all of this together to create the perfect piece of description, but the planets aren't aligned just so and I'm out of Mountain Dew. So to illustrate perfection, I'll let To Kill a Mockingbird do it for me:

Somehow [Maycomb] was hotter back then: a black dog suffered on a summer's day; bony mules hitched to Hoover carts flicked flies in the sweltering shade of the live oaks on the square. Men's stiff collars wilted by nine in the morning. Ladies bathed before noon, after their three-o'clock naps, and by nightfall were like soft teacakes with frostings of sweat and sweet talcum.

There you have it. Great setting description, foreshadowing, and symbolism, all in only 64 words.

Now, I don't pretend to be an expert at writing description; if I was, I'd probably be a bestselling, Pulitzer-prize winning author along with Harper Lee. But the ideas above are a pretty good for a jumping-off point. Apply them and see if they don't give your settings a boost in the right direction.

guest post by Becca!

2011-04-02T10:36:00.000-04:00

The Owl is thrilled to announce that in one week, Becca Puglisi of the famous The Bookshelf Muse has agreed to guest post! As most (if not all) of my readers know, Becca and Angela have compiled one of the best writing resources on the web. Their group of thesauruses . . . thesauri . . . you know! pull together concepts that often have writers stumped, so we can jump start our brains.

I've asked Becca for a post on setting in fiction. Setting can make or break not just scenes, but by extension, your whole novel or short story. Yeah, characters and plot may be paramount, but if you under- or overdescribe your setting(s), or pick the wrong one, readers may be left with an uncomfortable feeling. Worse, they may put your book down and leave it there! Setting is not just a pretty vase of flowers in the background. Please join me next week for Becca's take on using setting effectively.

"Building Better Plots" by Robert Kernen, part 11

2011-04-02T10:09:00.000-04:00

Choosing a suitable obstacle (several, actually) completes my conflict and defines the core drama in the story, according to the book. Kernen’s right: the story of David vs. Goliath is timeless because the odds were stacked against David but he won. It’s not a boring tale. Questions to help make the best of obstacles:

1) “What would make the attainment of my character’s goal the most difficult?”
Back to my idea of chasing characters up a tree, throwing stones at them, then setting the tree on fire. Neal has several things thrown at him:

his ex-gang tries to off him more than once;
they murder his kids and their mothers;
he comes this close to giving up on rehab;
he completes rehab but relapses;
he faces prejudice from some of the people he has to work with;
he’s drawn back to the barrio he grew up in despite trying to forget about his background;
he fights against Sandy’s attempts to control him;
he meets up with his mother who abandoned him at age ten;
he confronts his previously unknown biological father, who knew he wound up in a gang and did nothing to help;
he has to revert to gangbanger tactics to keep his friends safe;
he feels responsible for his girlfriend’s death.

And those are just the things I can remember! I got a bit of a sadistic streak. I think most writers do.

For Sandy, the answer is, again, more subtle. He finds that clearing his conscience isn’t as simple as he thought, and that he can’t go back to life as he knew it because Neal has irrevocably changed it. Helping somebody sometimes means giving up: your hold on them, some comfort in your own life.

2) “What is my character’s greatest weakness?”
I think that changes. Early on, I’d say Neal’s greatest weakness is his lack of self-confidence. Because he doesn’t think, deep down, that he’s worth all the attention he’s now getting, he sabotages his efforts at improving his life. Later, he can’t let go of a need for revenge that takes him to the brink of murder.

Sandy’s weakness is his fear of losing people he cares the most about. It leads him to almost strangle his friendship with Neal; it causes a rift with two girlfriends, the second rift being bigger.

Tune in next time for the last two questions, and conflict types.

Robert Kernen's "Building Better Plots", part 10

2011-03-25T14:21:00.001-04:00

According to Kernen, I need to know my main character’s psychological goal as well as his physical goal. He uses the example of Moby Dick. Ahab’s physical goal is to kill the white whale, and his psychological goal is to have revenge on the creature who took his leg. Without a clear understanding of why my character wants to reach his goal, I will wind up with either a thin plot or my character will reach his goal well before I wanted the climax to happen.

That makes sense. I have two main characters so I need to look at both of them.

Neal’s physical goal is to get out of the gang and stay out. His psychological goal is to escape the feeling of fate, the feeling that he has no say in his future. Sandy’s physical goal . . . is less obvious to me. I know that he wants two things in the beginning of the story: to lessen his guilt over two deaths, and to help somebody who—nah, any way I look at it, it comes back to Neal reminding Sandy of both things:

- how his friend Greg’s life was cut short because of crazy behavior exacerbated by drug use,
- and his cousin Renee’s death from alcoholism. Sandy feels especially guilty over this because Renee blamed him for her life turning out bad.

Fixing Neal’s problems would be like fixing Renee’s and Greg’s, though Sandy soon realizes Neal is worth helping for his own sake. Not sure if my difficulty pinning down Sandy’s goals is a failing of that part of the plot, or of my ability to describe it.

Kernen does say I need to make the physical or the psychological goal clear to readers, so maybe I don’t need to spell out both of those for Sandy just yet. Nah, if I don’t have it straight in my own head, how is his part in the whole story going to make sense?

So far, Kernen doesn’t address the possibility of goals changing during the novel. Sandy starts out wanting something selfish (to stop feeling guilty) but because he chooses a non-selfish way to do it, he sees the value of helping somebody for that person’s own sake.

I could say that Sandy’s physical goal is to set Neal up with tutors and a job, then go back to life as usual. Or is that more of an expectation than a goal? So far, no matter how I look at it, what Sandy wants is simply to stop feeling guilty and to set Neal up to improve his life. In early chapters, readers won’t know yet that Sandy’s plans don’t work out the way he hopes. Are those two goals enough to keep readers interested?
Well, if I’m that doubtful, probably not! Ugh. I’ll continue reading; maybe I’ll find something that will help me sort this.

Here’s something: “the contrast between where your protagonist begins and where he ends up is one of the key elements of good drama.”

Well, Sandy starts out assuming he can purge his demons by helping Neal, without upsetting his own routines. He winds up drawn into Neal’s life to the point of his own life being threatened. It goes beyond Sandy’s penchant for exerting control over people to protect them. I forgot about that. Sandy discovers he can’t just direct Neal from the sidelines, the way he’s done with other people. Okay, I guess this works then.

Next post: obstacles. Character obstacles, not just writer obstacles ;)

“Building Better Plots”, by Robert Kernen - part 9

2011-03-16T18:28:00.000-04:00

I should be able to describe the conflict, the crisis, and the resolution in one sentence or a few words each? Because I’m a bunny person, the example of Kernen’s that I’ll use here is The Velveteen Rabbit.
Conflict: rabbit wants to be alive.

Crisis: rabbit sent to incinerator after child gets sick.

Resolution: rabbit learns that to be loved is to be alive.

Pretty simplistic, huh? Out of only that, a heartwarming tale grew. The way the story was told made me really care about that rabbit. Kernen says that writing out these phrases and keeping them in sight will help if I lose focus and give a “clear awareness of your plan.” Sooo, what do I come up with for those three elements?

Conflict: Neal wants to start a new life; Sandy wants to purge his demons.

Crisis: Neal feels unable to leave his old lifestyle behind; Sandy faces personal limitations.

Resolution: Neal accepts himself as he is; Sandy learns that caring sometimes means letting go.

How’s that? I’m not sure Sandy’s plot is enough. Maybe it’s just that Neal’s issues are more obvious and dramatic. When I think about drafts of Sandy’s important scenes, they feel pretty good. I’ll just keep in mind that his arc may need work, as I progress.

Kernen also uses Gone With the Wind as an example of good plotting, but really, by choosing something as huge as the Civil War, half of Mitchell’s work was already done. That’s almost guaranteed to draw people in, especially once it’s personalized with Rhett and Scarlett. I use the 1992 Los Angeles riots, but that doesn’t have quite the same built-in impact. Well, maybe I’m selling the idea short.

I’m going to touch on why the riots were as much about class as race. Since readers will already have seen Neal deal with those issues, there should suspense and sympathy when the issues explode.

Regarding Gone With the Wind, Kernen says that readers are “compelled through the story by the vastness of what is at stake for the characters.” Put that way, I have a good grip on Neal’s part in the story. At times his life is in danger; to stay alive, he has to stay at least one step ahead of forces that have taken direct aim at him. Once we reach the crisis point, he also has to protect his friends and family members.

Sandy’s source of sympathy is, as I’ve said, less dramatic. At first he wants to clear up guilt over his cousin’s and his friend’s deaths, then he genuinely wants to --

Wait, that ties into the issue in post #6 of this series. It would be more believable if Sandy felt Neal had a clear goal for his future but needed help getting there. Just wanting a grocery store job doesn’t do it. Sure, on one hand, Neal might not aspire to something that you or I might; he didn’t have role models who took paths that might be open to him as well.

Neal will say something like, “I want to do X, but can’t afford the training.” Then Sandy can respond with, “I can’t set you up for that, but I can get you started in the business end of the music industry. You’ll learn skills you can take to a lot of places.”

I actually felt a piece of my plot puzzle fall into place.

Oh yeah, that’s why I want to write a novel: when ideas click, it’s so much fun!

Looming ahead, “what’s my motivation here?”

hiya

2011-03-12T16:09:00.000-05:00

Cool to have you along, J. Shine on!

The "repeat" demon

2011-03-12T11:50:00.000-05:00

I just realized something. I'm sitting here working on a crit, and I said that mentioning an effect more than once (like a character feeling a chill) tends to weaken said effect.

It hit me why writers repeat things. We think it strengthens the effect if readers see it more than once. That was true for a number of years, but readers' attention spans have changed. I speak in general, recognizing (and being grateful for) readers who cheerfully read 625-page novels with glee. According to some writing instructors and some agent blogs, most readers don't want to sit through a lot of descriptions of anything.

Plus, and maybe more important, most readers assume that something is in the story because it's important. That means they see it the first time. There it is - "Fred ambled along the street, hands in his pockets, whistling. Pathetic how the city wouldn't replace burnt-out streetlights. A twig snapped somewhere to his left. That was the third snap in ten minutes. He felt icy fingers slip down his spine."

I get the point that Fred's nervous. It's a darkened street and somebody may be following him. To use another phrase after that, that also says Fred is nervous, would turn me off.

But I understand why writers do it. It goes back to the confidence issue. We don't have the readership yet that confirms for us "we know how to write". We get comments from friends and family who will invariably either love or hate our writing. Crit groups are of great help - definitely - but they often focus on what's wrong and how to improve, not what we're doing right.

When you get a sense that people like what you're writing, you begin to loosen up. It's like learning how to drive. Most people need a few weeks or months to change that death grip on the steering wheel. Once they realize they're 100% in charge of how that vehicle moves, they get profoundly nervous and their fingers lock around the wheel. That inhibits them from moving smoothly and confidently. You have to do the same thing in writing.

Start with a deep love of your project, encourage people to tell you what they enjoy about your writing along with what needs improvement, and believe in yourself.

The other half of that coin is trust in your readers. Set up each scene right, and you'll only have to mention stuff once for readers to "get it". Of course, there will be times when something needs to be brought up again, but even that should use different words.

Don't you hate writing advice that says "don't do this, except for sometimes"? I know, it's frustrating and annoying. I can swallow it easier with specific examples. It's straightforward to say "don't repeat yourself, because it tends to weaken rather than strengthen". Another point bears repeating: writing well is a craft and an art. It must be practiced before we can be good at it. For a bunch of us, it takes years of keeping at it before we have something that anybody in the industry can look at and say "That has promise".

That's why you need an abiding - maybe even obsessive - love of your project. Me, I've been working steadily on "Street Glass" for half a hair shy of two years. I've started delving deeper into it using Robert Kernen's book "Building Better Plots". If your project isn't the thing that keeps your blood rushing, how are you gonna handle those seemingly endless rewrites and tweaks? And I made that point in another post, so am shutting up about that now.

Robert Kernen's "Building Better Plots", part 8

2011-03-10T15:59:00.004-05:00

Chapter two opens with a discussion of the story arc, and using the three-act structure. We need conflict, crisis, and resolution. My problem with the suggestion to take major events and write them in along a drawn arc is that I don’t have a clear resolution or climax yet. I can’t gauge whether or not each plot point moves me along toward the crisis if I don’t know what the crisis is.

Kernen says less about how to find the climax than I like. He spends paragraphs trying to convince me why having all these points plotted out on a graph will help with writing the actual story, but what to do if I don’t have one or more of them figured out? I don’t think just putting down “crisis happens here” will help anything.

He sticks in questions to ask to be sure that scenes are necessary and done effectively, though I think that issue itself might be more effective if left till later. After all, we’re still deciding on major plot points. But, because it’s a valid issue and I don’t want to risk forgetting about it, I’ll add his scene evaluation here.

Is the scene absolutely necessary to the central plot line?
If not, does it constitute a meaningful, necessary subplot or tangent?
If it is a worthwhile subplot or tangent, is this a good place to put it? Would it be more effective somewhere else?

I’d just amend to say “is this the best place to put it?” There are probably more than one “good places” to put necessary scenes, but the best place is where they should be.

Back to the arc and the crisis. Two or three blog posts ago, I said that it seemed like things were pointing toward Neal getting caught in the 1992 L.A. riots and being kidnapped by his father as the crisis point. I don’t like that though, because that would mean the resolution phase has to happen right afterward, and that’s supposed to be a short section.

I have a scene that takes place some time after the riots where Neal has risen to some public prominence, and becomes disgusted at the lack of progress in rebuilding after the riots. He confronts the mayor with a mix of in-your-face Latino pride and a willingness to meet Anglos (whites, Caucasians) half way. He displays a self-confidence only arrived at by everything he’s been through before that moment. It seems to me that the scene, as well as the mayor’s reaction, illustrate Neal’s growth from undereducated, rough-around-the-edges, coke-addicted 18-year-old to self-possessed, hard-working, compassionate man.

I also have a scene in mind, not written at all yet, between him and Sandy that might show how their friendship has evolved and might contribute to a sense of story resolution, if I can do it right.

Kernen suggests thinking of the crisis as “the final sequence of events where the outcome of the story is decided, the time at which control of the characters’ situation slips into the hands of fate.” Well, it seems to me that at least for some novels, the characters lose control early on and the story concerns how they deal with that fact. The crisis could then be the final effort to fight against fate, and the resolution could be acceptance of fate.

I will say that it helps to think of the crisis as the moment toward which the previous parts have been moving. That crucial event should make sense, based on what came before. “Of course that happened,” readers should think.

And yet, it shouldn’t be so predictable that readers also say, “Nothing about it surprised me.”

Tell me again why I want to do this??

On the horizon— a breakthrough!

waving at ya!

2011-03-10T15:59:00.002-05:00

Hi Robert. I'm glad you joined us. Feel free to pipe up with any comments! =)

"Building Better Plots", part 7

2011-03-06T12:03:00.001-05:00

Robert Kernen’s final questions, intended to help define my story arc:

What obstacles keep him from his goal?

attempts by his old gang to kill him;
frequent drug cravings and some relapses, which add self-doubt;
finding himself living in circumstances he didn’t expect and knows nothing about, causing trouble with being able to fit in;
a major falling-out with Sandy, leading to personal crises for Neal and Sandy;
a threat to Neal’s life by his biological father, being caught in street riots, and arrested by the LAPD whom he has a grudge against - these three events combine to bring his personal crises to, well, a climax.

I’ve hesitated considering that last series of events as the climax because I understand the story arc has a brief time after it to wrap up, and Neal’s story doesn’t wrap up neatly there. But that’s not critical to solve right now.

Who is the antagonist?

Coyote, the leader of the gang Neal left; later, Neal’s father; occasionally, also Sandy. I might also add that sometimes, Neal is his own enemy. (How many antagonists can a novel have?)

What does the protagonist have at stake?

His life, sense of self, sense of worth . . . Do I need more?

What sacrifices must he make?

At first, he gives up the only way of life he’s ever known and the friends who’ve gotten him through hell. Later, he gives up the idea of living a private life when he realizes he can make positive differences happen by being a public figure. He really is important, after all.

Kernen goes on to say that if “the answers to these questions are unclear or not compelling, you need to reexamine your story.”

I think I have a good foundation for my story arc, though I know I need to strengthen it. Anybody see anything I might have missed?

Next time: wrapping up the sometimes dreaded story arc, and the three parts of a story.

another WIP

2011-03-02T17:35:00.001-05:00

I mentioned that I’m working on a fantasy short story. One of the neat people on Critique Circle asked if anybody wanted to get involved in a shared writing project, based on a world we would create. We kicked around a bunch of worldbuilding ideas (are still kicking some around, in fact), came up with a rough timeline of geologic and political events, and began brainstorming short stories. The aim is to collect the tales into an anthology.

Our timeline starts with an “archaic” or medieval age, where magic is used, and progresses through an age of advanced technology. I won’t discuss further details because other people are involved and I don’t want to spill anybody’s beans. I think we’ve worked out enough possibilities for those of us wanting to write fantasy with magic and those wanting to write science fiction.

As we filled in certain worldbuilding details, I was reminded of a story idea I had in the 70s. Yeah, that’s kinda dating me, and I don’t care. Fantasy is my first love, followed by sci-fi. I don’t have a head for the science part of sci-fi, but I absolutely love to read it. Back in the 80s I was really into astronomy and planetary science, though some of it went over my head.

I watched Carl Sagan’s “Cosmos” when it first aired, because I was already in love with the vast wonders of the universe. Kids, track that TV series down and watch the whole thing. I think Carl’s love of astronomy and of the details of the universe as a whole shine through. And, you’ll discover one of the first instances of the word “google”.

Anyway. So the more our group talked about working in magic use, the more I thought my ancient story idea could be resurrected and reworked. I found myself working up a serious lot of backstory and putting together an outline before I ever wrote a single scene. My first time as a “plotter”! I had to scale back my ideas as I started to have enough for a novel, and that’s not where this project is headed. I had so much backstory and so many possibilities that I needed an outline to keep me focused on what I needed for the short story.

I’m excited about the overall project. The other writers are coming up with story ideas that will showcase our world and tell captivating tales. One of my characters may be a major figure for stories set in future eras, and I am so honored to have contributed the idea. She’s a created being, connected to the planet in a very real way. She’ll have some control over magic, and becomes a serious threat to the planet. But she has limits and can be destroyed. I don’t know what all her flaws and vulnerabilities are yet, though I do know that she will not be all-powerful.

The biggest challenge for me right now is keeping to a short story length. No single story in the proposed anthology is supposed to be grander or longer than the others. I just love creating characters and watching them interact, so once I have core people in my head, it’s hard to rein in the action. I like working on two different types of writing projects. Isaac Asimov supposedly said that he liked having several projects going at the same time, because when he got bored with one, he’d just move to something else for a while. There’s wisdom for you.

Plus, since the fantasy is a short and my other project is a novel, I keep a whole range of writing muscles exercised. Writing . . . I love it. I seldom get tired of it. It can be hard, it can make me want to pull my hair out and run screaming from the room, and that’s not even as frustrated as I get trying to research stuff that happened just before the internet got big. I even like editing, because it makes stuff shiny and new again. I almost always have that sense of “wow, this is really cool stuff!” about my own writing, even when it really is, in fact, kinda awful. But I focus on making it better, not on its awfulness. I’ve decided that both projects have something unique, in a good way. If you guys take one thing from my blog, let it be: never give up. I mean it. Find whatever turns all your lights on, and stick with it as long as you can. You’ll know it when it grabs you.

“Shine on, bright like the sun / When even the sky turns gray”

(“Breathe”, Ryan Star)

another hi!

2011-03-02T17:30:00.000-05:00

A "wussup" to John. Nice to have you along. Feel free to add a comment whenever you feel moved. Life's better with friends!

shout out

2011-02-24T17:47:00.000-05:00

A great big "hi" to Carol. Didn't want you to think I forgot about you. I'm tickled that you're following my bumpy but never dull writing journey. =)

“Building Better Plots”, part 6

2011-02-24T17:37:00.001-05:00

Chapter 2 of Robert Kernen’s book opens with a discussion of the story arc. What’s the main story arc for my WIP? Questions to help me find out:

What is your protagonist’s goal?

This is the central question and deserves the most time. I’ll focus on Neal. His goal is to get out of the gang, stay alive, and make a life for himself.

That question Art Edwards put to me comes back, cattle-prodding me: What does your character want? I realize now it’s not enough to say that Neal wants out of the gang and to live his own life. Doing what? If he’s thought about getting out, he must have thought about what to do with himself.

He knows he doesn’t have much schooling. Even friends who completed school don’t have especially good jobs, and they still live in the barrio. His friend Chuy got out of another gang and runs a grocery store with his brothers. It won’t make any of them rich, but it’s steady work. Would Neal settle for that? I figure he must have made some halfway realistic plans to support himself in case he ever did get out.

Then, when Neal finds himself in totally different circumstances than he ever expected, it’s understandable when people ask him “What do you want to do for a living?” and he says he doesn’t know.

If he slips out of rehab with his old pal Dario, maybe there’s another grocery store near Dario’s place. Neal might be reminded of his earlier plan to work with Chuy, and maybe now he plans to get a job at the new store. Maybe, though, it’s an Anglo supermarket, not a small Latino place, and they aren’t interested in hiring him. Stuck without a backup plan, he has to reconsider rehab.

That might work. He finishes rehab and then Sandy suggests that he learn to roadie, which is a skill he could use with any band. That gives Neal something to look forward to.

In my next post, I’ll wrestle with the remaining four questions.

P.S.: My crit buddy on Critique Circle gave me a better idea for what job Neal might hope for if he gets out of the gang. Never underestimate the value of a crit buddy!

CSI:NY rant

2011-02-19T17:14:00.000-05:00

To the writers and producers of CSI:NY - Do I look stupid to you? When the original CSI series started, it was pretty cool. A look into how crime scene investigators work! (Well, sort of, anyway. I know you fudge some stuff and make up other stuff because the shows are fiction, and it's TV rather than a novel.) I liked how you explained some of the science. Scenes showing various ways the "perp" may have committed the murder were kinda neat.

On yesterday's episode, "Got Justice", the serial rapist's van was found, and the cops commented that he must have raped his victims there. You had to show a visual overlay of the attacker on top of a woman inside the van? What, viewers can't imagine that for themselves? Trust me, any woman can imagine that, and a lot of guys as well. Sure, both characters were clothed, but the intent was to depict a rape. Utterly unnecessary and extremely upsetting to some viewers.

I finally ditched CSI: Miami because I absolutely couldn't stand the way things -- parts of the set, background characters -- continually drift in between the camera and the actors. Now you're doing it in New York.

I've been uncomfortable with some of the unnecessary depictions of crimes before, but this one combined with the obnoxious "set drift" have turned me off. I've seen my last episode of any CSI. Too bad, because as entertainment, all the CSI shows had their good moments. (But I'm sure a lot of viewers realize that cops in real life don't chase armed (or possibly armed) people without any backup, though your shows are not the only ones to do that.)

I'm pretty annoyed that "Southland" moved to cable. Ah, well. The universe must be telling me to get a move on with the two writing projects I'm involved with. I didn't talk about the second one, did I? Maybe next time. I hear characters calling me.

"Building Better Plots", by Robert Kernen, part 5

2011-02-17T16:03:00.002-05:00

Exercise at the end of chapter one: “Write your story idea on a single 3 x 5 card, paring it down to its most basic elements. Write only the words or phrases that are absolutely critical to your story.”

Okay: Underprivileged Latino teenager leaves street gang and befriends white, over-privileged musicians.

Stripping the story down like this is supposed to help me find the fundamental bits, as well as make it easier to know what to tell, what to skip, and how to tell the story. It does make me focus on the underlying principle. That sentence my story is reduced to is the original, basic idea. Suppose somebody living in the streets--with all that implies--met somebody who’d never broken the law, who felt living a good life wasn’t all that hard but it sure was rewarding?

Actually, previous times when I have been less stuck, I’ve gone back to my original inspiration of “Baba O’Riley” by The Who. Those first lines gripped my muse a mighty long time ago, and it’s still strong. If I may quote without fear of copyright police knocking on my door:

“Out here in the fields / I fight for my meals / I get my back into my living”

There’s my gangbanger, no additional explanation needed.

“I don’t need to fight / To prove I’m right / I don’t need to be forgiven”

There’s the voice in the ivory tower, showing off what a good life he’s led. (Cool bits of lyric writing, I might add.) Everything else took off from there. What would happen if these two met? Not just met, lived in the same house? From there, I realized that the issues those characters deal with are real-life ones. I could shed some light on those issues by giving them faces.

I see Kerner’s point here. I may print out that sentence I came up in response to his exercise question, along with those few lyrics, and keep them on my laptop, affectionately known as Lance. Ooo! Lance has pre-loaded sticky notes! (Post-It used to have a free version of their downloadable sticky note program, but I don’t know if they still do.)

There. Now I have a purple sticky with my one-sentence basic plot, and the lyrics in two different fonts to simulate character voices. I think that’ll help.

Chapter two of Kerner’s book gets into plot structure, so I won’t tack comments about those sorts of details onto a post about generalities. I’ll ask readers to try to boil down your current WIP into one or two sentences. What is your story idea, in its most simple form?

If you’re having any plot issues, I think the exercise will help focus you. If you’re not having trouble, try it anyway. It’s good practice for learning how to say important things in as few words as possible, which is more or less how you should be writing your novel. Less experienced writers (and that includes me) always think that whenever we’re talking about our WIPs, we have to mention this, this, this, and that, because it’s all important. I still think there are important elements of my story that the single sentence doesn’t cover, but I’m comfortable with what it does say.

If you guys want to leave your reduced plot ideas as comments here, I’d love to see what you come up with. You can keep it to yourself, of course. How easy or hard was it? Maybe take some published stories, and try it with them. Happy trimming!

Next time, approaching the story arc.

shout out x 3!

2011-02-11T18:31:00.000-05:00

Big "hiyas" to Summer, Stephanie, and Carol. It's so nice to have you ladies along. I've embarked on a twisting - and maybe twisted! - road here, and it feels good to know I've got some company!

"Building Better Plots", part 4

2011-02-09T16:48:00.002-05:00

Under “what to leave out or withhold” in chapter one, Robert Kernan says: “…the simple act of including something in your plot you are saying to your readers that this is an important piece of information that is worthy of their time and consideration. While the occasional red herring…can be a useful device, if you cry wolf too often, your audience will quickly lose faith in your perspective.” [my emphasis]

Especially for new writers (but for all of us), I think that issue can’t be overstated. When you offer a written work up to the public, you’re promising to give readers something valuable in return for their time and attention. The sad fact is, readers are not going to be as enamored of our plots and our characters as we, the writers, are. We have a much more intimate connection with our creations than our readers ever will. We have to work at presenting our novels in ways that not just promise an exciting ride, but deliver one.

With my own novel, I want readers to come away with a sense of having peeked into parts of society they wouldn’t otherwise see. I want them to learn some things, but I don’t necessarily want them to realize that, at least not right away. I’d rather the learning happen just below the surface.

Deciding what information not to include is tricky. I plan on sometimes using Neal’s point of view, sometimes Sandy’s. Each character may know or learn things that maybe should be kept from the other character; is it still okay for readers to know? Of course I won’t know the answer until I get to those details, but it’s an important question to keep in mind.

One specific issue that comes to mind is that of Neal’s biological father. Neal has known for years that somebody besides his mother’s husband is his real father, but doesn’t know anything else about the guy. Currently, in an early chapter, his mother tries to visit him while he’s in rehab but he’s not allowed visitors, so she leaves him a short note and his birth certificate. Since he hasn’t seen or heard from his mother in years, he wonders if the visitor was in fact her. Seeing that the birth certificate names another man as his father convinces Neal that the paper is genuine and his visitor must have been his mother.

But that isn’t something he shares with Sandy. I planted it there, so readers would feel suspense when his father finally shows up. I also hoped that by letting readers know right away that Neal is illegitimate I would avoid having it look like a tired cliché when other characters find out. That may not be the most effective way to reveal the information, though. Taking Kernen’s example of Star Wars, the fact that Darth Vader is Luke’s real father was revealed at a moment that was already highly charged, ramping it up even more.

Maybe what I’ll do is make a list of things that are sensitive and dramatic, so I can keep in mind the right time to reveal them as I work on plotting. There shouldn’t be many. I think a great plot needs a few big surprises, but too many weakens all of them.

I’ll close with Kernen’s description of what a plot is: “A plot isn’t merely a string of occurrences; it is a carefully orchestrated telling of events that might include breaking up their temporal order, taking out certain pieces or emphasizing other pieces. It is in that manipulation that a simple story becomes a plot.”

That makes so much sense, doesn’t it? Newspapers are for flatly told tales. I remember the time when, reading one of Katherine Kurtz’s Deryni stories, one of the main characters got seriously injured. Because I was so invested in that character, and what might happen to the others if this guy died, I dropped the book in shock. That’s the kind of emotion I’m after.

Next time, back to basics.

"Building Better Plots", part 3

2011-01-31T17:18:00.003-05:00

In chapter one, Robert Kernen discusses narrative and targeting a story’s focus. He says that deciding on your tale’s perspective is not a simple decision. Every story, whether in print or on film (or digital), is told through the filter of its author. Everybody reading my blog could take my story idea, and all of us would tell it differently. The first thing to think about is what to include in your story.

Kernen uses the example of World War II. Just sticking to books, several dozen have been written that, in one way or another, include the war. But they have different perspectives from each other, because there’s no point in using the same details. As I see it, an issue as huge as a world war *has* to focus on one or a few people to give readers something to grasp. My WIP, using the working title “Street Glass”, in a broad sense is about class and race differences in the U.S. If I spread the story from one coast to the other and pull in a representative character from every level of society that impacts the story, readers are going to find it hard to focus on things.

Instead, I’m going to keep my spotlight on two characters, from opposite sides. Readers get a look at Neal’s life in a street gang up close. Things like violence, the loss of one’s individuality, and general hopelessness are the obvious things that he puts a face on. I throw in a love interest because that rounds out his character and provides opportunities for plot twists. Readers are brought face to face with a snarling gangbanger who’s ready to slit somebody’s throat. I aim to show that he treats people the way he gets treated, because that’s what most of us do. How much is he to blame for his actions?

On the other side, musician Sandy has lost a family member to drinking and a good friend to drugs. I take readers through Sandy’s memory of his last encounter with his cousin and show his guilt at his part in her downward spiral. I haven’t decided where to work in the mention of his friend Greg’s drug addiction but I do think it should come out sooner rather than later. These points humanize Sandy, who would otherwise stay part of a rarified group that most readers couldn’t relate to.

Neal’s part Latino and part Anglo or white, though he identifies much more with Latinos. Sandy’s the privileged white guy.

So far, so good. I have a basic idea. I believe alternating between the points of view of both characters will draw readers into the human side of the general conflict, and make it real for them. Now I have to decide what details to include, which to leave out, and in what order to tell things. Ha! Simple, right?

Next post, I muse about leaving in or tossing out information.

"Building Better Plots", part 2

2011-01-25T11:40:00.003-05:00

Here we are with the rest of chapter one’s questions, from Robert Kernen’s book.

7. Does my concept provide any realistic hooks that will make it easy for the audience to relate to?
Readers are given a look at how hard life is for 18-year-old Neal as a member of a street gang, before he meets Sandy. Readers are also shown how Sandy lost a family member to alcohol and a close friend to drug use.

8. What elements will they relate to? Even if you are writing fantasy or science fiction, you will want to give your audience some element to which they can connect their sympathy.
Neal’s feeling of being stuck in a lifestyle he realizes doesn’t have many options; his difficulties with trying to change, and to fit in among new people; and difficulties with accepting himself as he is. Readers should also relate to Neal’s lashing out when life continues to treat him cruelly. Readers should be able to relate to Sandy’s feeling of helplessness over the losses of his relative and of his friend; his attempt at righting those wrongful deaths through helping Neal; his fear of losing other people important to him if he doesn’t have some control over them.

9. Does my concept provide enough tension to hold the audience’s interest?
The $64 million question! It doesn’t have *enough*, yet. The initial tension of Neal wanting to get out of his hopeless lifestyle, but not knowing how, should be enough to start sympathy for him. Seeing how Sandy was affected by the losses of his relative and of his friend should be enough for readers to understand his desire to help Neal. After that, I need to have enough difficulties for both characters for readers to feel their time with the story is well spent.

10. What are those sources of tension?
So far, I have:

Neal gets out of the gang but knows they’ll kill him if they can;
Sandy appears to Neal to have offered to help only to ease his guilt over losing loved ones, and Sandy risks making Neal feel marginalized again, just like his cousin felt before she died;
Neal agrees to do rehab, then decides he can’t hack it and splits, then realizes he has to do it no matter how hard it is;
an under-educated Latino teenager from society’s lowest class tries to fit in with upper-class, white over-achievers;
Sandy’s ideas of how far personal responsibility should go are challenged;

and I think Sandy’s part in the story needs more tension.

In the current draft, Sandy believes Neal has a lot of potential and helps him realize some of it. In the process they become good friends. That means Sandy’s afraid to let him do his own thing because Neal’s life hasn’t settled down and Sandy might lose him too if he doesn’t keep a close eye on him. Neal starts to resent Sandy for trying to control him.

That’s fine, but as it stands, that’s not enough to sustain reader interest. Those themes have to play out against compelling action.

Currently, I have six months where the band tours and Neal remains in the house. The most compelling thing that happens to him is that his ex-gang rakes the mansion with automatic rifle fire. He starts drum lessons too, which is important for down the road, but that’s not going to keep anybody on the edge of a seat. This is the most serious problem so far, and now I’ve got a “tension” headache ;)

Next time, I discuss the issue of story perspective.

shout out

2011-01-24T11:53:00.000-05:00

Hi Stephanie! It's great to have you along. You bring my total followers to an even dozen - how exciting! =) I'm going to have another post in my series on Kernen's book later today or tomorrow.

“Building Better Plots” by Robert Kernen - Part 1

2011-01-19T12:35:00.002-05:00

Because plotting is the thing I’m having trouble with, I’m going to take my time with this book. I’m going to do the exercises and think about things when the author suggests I pause to do so. You guys get to watch my progress. I’m not the only one with plot issues, so come along. And hey, if anybody gets a plot idea they think may fit in my story, do share. I’m not shy about thanking people where it counts ;)

These are the exercise questions from chapter one.

1. Does my concept create obstacles that effectively challenge the characters?
     Well, yeah.

2. If so, which specific elements will be the source of that challenge?
     Class conflict—lower vs. upper, minimal education vs. higher education; racial conflicts.

3. Does my concept provide a strong backdrop for exploring the strengths, limitations, and psychology of my characters?
    I believe so.

4. What specific elements does the plot have that provide vivid comparisons and contrasts that will delineate my character in intriguing ways?
     A low-class, minimally educated young Latino man (Neal) befriends a white, upper-class musician (Sandy) and becomes part of his society. They both learn things about certain segments of society that challenge their preconceived ideas about themselves and others. Neal faces the fact that his biological father is the sort of man he hates. Being caught in the L.A. class/race riots of 1992 force him to realize what’s really important to him. Sandy lost a relative to alcohol and a good friend to drugs, and he now sees a chance for redemption in saving Neal.

5. Does my concept provide a strong environment for the messages and themes I want to explore?
     Neal directly confronts personal demons as he tries to fit into a society he previously saw as ignorant and even abusive. These confrontations allow him to learn to trust others, and to find his own strengths. Sandy deals with similar demons from a different angle.

6. What metaphors and motifs grown naturally out of that environment will illuminate those themes and messages?
     Uh, in English please? I show how different elements of American society, as personified by Neal and Sandy, can work together for the betterment of all sides. As Neal lets go of his prejudices and fears, he grows into a self-confident mover and shaker, bridging the gaps of class and race. Sandy discovers that preparing the soil and planting seeds is sometimes as far as one should go; taking charge sometimes means letting go.

Here I’ll stop to let you guys consider how these questions can help in your own work. Next post will finish the questions and spend a few minutes on the issue of tension. I’ve discovered a new meaning for “tension headache”!

Echo Park by Michael Connelly (2006)

2011-01-13T15:05:00.002-05:00

An inauspicious opening sentence from a “New York Times bestselling author”:

“It was the car they had been looking for.”

For me, that one falls flat. It’s from the prologue. By chapter four, I decided that Connelly’s standards slipped while writing this one, his editor’s standards slipped, or conventions have changed since this book was published in 2006. He uses the “was -ing” construction too often for my taste, in places where I feel it weakens the impact of the sentences. He describes how the protagonist, Harry Bosch, is obsessed with a murder he couldn’t solve for thirteen years, painting a picture of why and how the obsession continues. Then he drops, “He would not give up.”

Really? You didn’t make that clear enough after saying that Bosch kept requesting the murder file, and re-interviewing persons of interest several times?

Now here’s one I like. Bosch has just called his old partner and indicated that the two of them may have missed a clue years ago that might have not only caught a woman’s murderer, but if he’d been caught, other women might not have been killed. How does Bosch’s partner respond?

“The background sound of television went quiet and he then spoke in the weak voice of a child asking what his punishment will be.”

In context, it has a good impact. Connelly seems to have an inconsistent ability to be compelling.

Having finished the book now, I have to say the author’s word choices don’t strike me as unique or gripping. Yes, *telling* can have a place, and sometimes a writer may actually want a passive phrase. But for most of the book?

On the positive side, he establishes a solid foundation for conflict between the cop Bosch and the criminal Waits. Early on, I assumed Waits was in fact the murderer Bosch has been looking for over thirteen years, but finding if that’s true isn’t the whole issue. It’s *how* we find out. Waits is described as a real loony, somebody who chops up at least some of his victims. Bosch is shown to be pretty practical, and loyal to his badge. Interaction between the two must have some psychological adventure aspect. By the end, Bosch is shown to have at least one major character flaw, which helps make him realistic.

And there are plot twists I didn’t see coming, which fit with groundwork laid previously. Connelly’s plotting is fine, it’s his wordsmithing I’m not fond of. Still, I’d like to read one or two more recent novels of his and see what’s changed, if anything.

First I’m going to tackle “Building Better Plots” by Robert Kernen, which I started several months ago. He’s got exercises in each chapter that look like they might help my plot dam—or damn plot ;)

Writer's Mind: Crafting Fiction by Richard Cohen (1995)

2011-01-08T13:16:00.000-05:00

Cohen’s edited, taught, and evaluated written works (and written novels himself) long enough to have clear suggestions for the best ways to go from nebulous plot possibility to finished, polished manuscript. You have to like somebody who says that writing is a matter of the spirit.

One of the reasons I like this book is because Cohen comes up with a sample story idea and shares its progression with readers. He ponders various directions the story or the characters might take at various points. This gives readers a real-world example of how to put his writing suggestions to use.

He says early in the book he wanted to write a book with more technical knowledge than typical writing manuals “to nurture the serious inner development of writers”. He doesn’t rely on rigid formulas to explain how writing “should” be done. He includes practical exercises that make you think and help you write. Toward the end of the book, he does seem to throw a wet blanket on dreams of big-time publishing success, but he also keeps encouraging us to reach for it.

I don’t know about you, but for me, without something to reach for, I can be at loose ends. It makes sense for anybody who wants to get published to stay realistic. I can honestly say that I don’t dream of making a bigger splash than, say, Ms. Rowling. I’d rather have quality admirers of my writing than quantity.

Cohen covers a lot of ground, from why we write to suggestions for getting the best writing out of each of us every day to what it’s like when you finally do get published. For me, who’s decided I need specific help with my WIP, there’s still a lot to learn. I feel encouraged to keep trying, which is perhaps the first step in writing anything.

He does caution that the best ideas may in fact take years to simmer in your muse’s Magickal Crockpot (I added the crockpot reference). Sheesh, I’ve already had the basic idea for over 20 years. I got *serious* about the story only in 2009, so it might take years more?

Even though we’ve all heard this before, it bears repeating: while waiting for that Big Idea, write other things. It keeps your muse fresh and in practice, it helps develop good writing habits that will help when The Idea finally arrives, and you’ll feel like you’re still accomplishing something, because you are. It’s true that you get better at it the more you do it. Some of us at Critique Circle have decided to create a shared world where we'll write our own stories, using agreed-upon foundations such as politics, religion, magic, and the use (or misuse) of those things. This gives me a chance to resurrect an idea I've had for a fantasy tale. Worldbuilding is an involved process that keeps my muse busy, and lets the Crockpot of Neal's story cook as long as it needs to.

Cohen includes lists of books that he feels are great examples of the issues he talks about in each chapter. I’m not totally convinced that books published in the early 1900s are invaluable for somebody who wants to publish in 2011, but at the very least, I’m sure those books offer a starting place.

I did laugh, briefly, at one suggestion. One of the last exercises is to found a literary magazine. Oh yeah, right, me, founding something. A literary magazine! I have no connections, no inkling how founding anything is done. And yet, if we all just gave up without even trying, wouldn’t the world be a very poor place?

Shout out

2011-01-07T17:11:00.001-05:00

Hi, Liz. Sweet of you to come by. I popped into your blog at Novel Moments, and I get the feeling you're really excited about your Work in Progress. Awesome! It's good to have company on this twisted road known as writing.

The box is not always bad

2010-12-26T13:09:00.003-05:00

So I've been typing pretty much stream-of-consciousness style as I try to discover what plot changes need to happen. I'm nowhere near done with the process, but I'm going more in-depth with plotting than I ever have, because now I'm not just writing for myself. I used to think that writing out scenes would move the plot along without having to plan stuff out ahead of time, and that may still work for me when I'm not writing for anybody else's eyes.

I'm not used to having to change major parts of my stories; I tend to think, 'But that's the way it's always been, and that's the way things happened.' Keep in mind, I've had the major characters in my head since somewhere in the late 70s. That's a lot of time for ideas to become cemented, whether they work or not.

However, my recent writing course, my helpful critters on CC, and reading Cohen's book have brought home to me that I must break open the box of my own making. I wrote a couple exercises for the course in first person; I always write in some variation of third, and I want to stretch myself. Art pointed out specific things in my first-person exercises that he felt worked well, and I was so surprised! While writing the first one especially, things felt forced and unnatural at times.

I've learned that the proverbial box is all right to help one get a grip on the basics, and then you have to bust it wide open to let air and rain in so new ideas will grow.

The plot issues have chips and cracks in them now. I feel the answers are there, hidden beneath years of assumptions and mistakes and a not-helpful fondness for the way things used to be. I'm taking individual plot points and looking at them from other angles. How does this point move the plot forward? What am I trying to say with this idea? If I want to keep it, what's the most effective way to get my intention across?

Exploring different possibilities for scenes also lets me peer into my characters' souls more. Trist is the girlfriend of gang leader Coyote; Neal has feelings for her though I've wondered how to realistically portray that. In cutting windows into my box, I've glimpsed her human side. She will eventually turn against Neal, but in the beginning, she has moments of thoughtfulness.

Out of seemingly nowhere, it recently came to me that Sophie, a singer who becomes important later in the story, lives in a house decorated in a Moroccan theme. That part may make it into the WIP. Sitting looking at the Christmas tree in my house, I sank into a seconds-long scene between Sophie and Sandy. He admires her Christmas tree, dripping with obviously old ornaments. She says that on every tour, her people search for antique ornaments in every country she stops in.

I like that scene a lot, because it gets to the heart of who Sophie is: she loves being adored by her fans, she has no trouble throwing her weight around to get what she wants, she doesn't apologize for being rich, but she believes deeply in family ties and traditions. Those expensive ornaments are reminders of tours and the places she's visited and the traditions of the people there. They remind her of Christmases growing up, when her family moved around a lot and sometimes all they had on Christmas was each other and the tree. Other people might look at them and say, "Wow, she's a show-off."

Without the foundation of the first draft of the WIP, I wouldn't have known that Sophie is sometimes very contradictory. She'd be a one-dimensional character. Now, I can have fun finding out what motivates these people, and their humanity will come through in my writing.

This is what Art meant by "what do your characters want?" What makes them who they are? Who they are dictates what they do and say. My inner editor will tweak this information to make it workable for fiction. And gradually, I'll have a compelling plot with convincing and persuasive characters.

I'm so excited! It's like discovering the characters all over again! I get to explore new scenes with them, finding hidden gems. Our relationship has the depth of years, with the shine of newness. Damn! I love writing! It never gets old!

Thus begins the winter

2010-12-13T18:22:00.000-05:00

Hey folks, sorry I've been off the grid. Working retail in 4th quarter has had me feeling homicidal occasionally! Plus I've got a sick pet, and my online writing course wrapped up recently, so it's been one thing after another.

My instructor, Art Edwards, mentioned a book on writing during the course and it sounded helpful, so I bought a copy. It's "Writer's Mind" by Richard Cohen. I've read a bit, and so far, I like how Cohen thinks. The first sentence of his preface is: "A writer is someone who is always learning to write." I find that a relief. He doesn't seem to expect that, once I finish reading his book and writing my manuscript, that the work will get accepted for publication and I won't need to work on my craft anymore. If he'd implied that, I'd have returned the book.

I even like the cover. The edition I have shows an ocean wave curling over into a tube. It reminds me of being in "the zone", when ideas and sentences flow from my fingers and whole paragraphs are typed before I pause for breath. That's being in the calm middle of the creative wave, until doubts and decisions crash in on me.

Later in his preface, Cohen says: "There are no 'don'ts' in this book--no 'Don't write dream scenes' ... or 'Don't begin a sentence with and or but.' A writer is someone whose first reflex, on being confronted with a taboo, is to break it."

You gotta love somebody who will say that!

Art also suggested that I find novels written in a style similar to my own and see how those authors handled various writing issues. Wellll, that's easier said than done! I could adapt lessons from a fantasy novel to my own WIP, probably, but how to find authors that write in a similar style? I write in a linear way, with clear details meant to help readers visualize scenes easily. In fact, I think I write too clearly sometimes!

If anybody has suggestions for authors they think may help me, I'm all for checking them out. Now that snow has fallen and we're well into the last month of the year, it's finally time to curl into myself and read. I've been promising myself that once winter hit, I'd focus on improving my plot and working on some of the writing details that have plagued me. Plotting, plotting, plotting. I don't yet know how I'm going to come up with compelling plot twists, but that's up to my muse and her Magickal Crockpot :D

Ruminations

2010-11-13T17:14:00.001-05:00

When you write reality-based fiction, you walk more than one tightrope. One of the things always in the back of my mind as I work on my WIP is the idea of perception of reality. I base my story in reality, and adjust it for fiction. Thing is, everybody has their own perception of reality. Some readers are bound to see my adjusting for fiction as error. It’s easy to think you have a full understanding of some part of society or life. That’s how clichés and stereotypes are perpetuated. People hear about them and start to assume that’s how things really are.

Gangs are easy to make assumptions about. There are certain things, as I understand it, that a lot of gangbangers do and say. But it’s also true that news stories about them don’t generally talk about what really goes on their heads. Some of them do regret the violence.

My story is still at an early stage, of course. I’m going to revamp the early chapters to increase tension and draw readers in. But I have to think about how I do it. Once this thing gets published, how many readers might just think “That’s not how it really is. How can I believe the rest of the story if this part is wrong?”

I read something about writing that I stupidly cannot find who wrote it or where. It said something like, reality-based fiction is supposed to represent reality, not be reality. When you think about it, that makes perfect sense. You can’t drop reality wholesale into written fiction and expect it to be clear. There’s too many differences and limitations in written fiction for that to work. Anyway, who wants to read something they could get from a newspaper or online or from friends?

Reality-based fiction gives readers familiar things to hold on to and feel comfortable with. Then when it presents the fiction part, readers ought to be ready to believe it, if it’s done well. They’ll start to think, “Oh I can totally see that really happening” or maybe “That could only happen in fiction. But it’s great to speculate about it.”

What I’m trying to accomplish is shining a light on some things a lot of people prefer not to think about, but should, wrapped in an interesting tale. There’s enough fact--and human nature--in it for readers to recognize the issues I talk about.

It’s a privilege to be part of a group of people who have long been not just the keepers of collective memory, but a group that urges us to look hard at how we live: the storytellers. Those of you who are also storytellers, smile. Not everybody can do this. We need to do it as well as we can.

Hiya

2010-11-08T11:21:00.000-05:00

Shout out to Melisa! Thanks for joining me on this odd but always interesting journey that is writing. :D

spare scene

2010-11-04T13:55:00.003-04:00

So I wrote this little scene but I don't think it'll wind up in the manuscript, because it doesn't advance the plot. Worse, it repeats a point I've already made, but it seemed to make sense for the characters to talk about it. It's long for a blog post, but I like the scene, so I'm using it here.

It takes place in the band's house. Timo {short for Timoteo} was one of Neal's kids, all of whom were murdered by his former gang. The throne is the padded seat drummers use.

All that drum and cymbal noise! Who could be banging around on Sandy’s kit? --or was it his own kit? Neal strode to the music room but stopped in the doorway. Sandy sat behind his kit, next to Allison on another throne, wavy blonde hair just touching her shoulders. He talked about musical scales as he clicked the hi-hats.

She’d been running around with her brother earlier. Now she wore the biggest smile Neal had ever seen on a kid. Holding a pair of sticks that were too big for her hands, she kept reaching for one of the cymbals. Sandy put a hand on her arm and kept talking. She glanced at him, then reached for a cymbal.

Leave it to Sandy to get all practical with a kid who just wanted to have fun.

Neal went a few steps closer. “Let the kid smash away. Don’t hold back another potential drummer.”

Her brown eyes widened at him then she leaned toward Sandy. Damn, was she afraid?

“Allison,” Sandy said, “have you said hi to Neal?”

She clutched the sticks in one hand and grabbed his shirt with the other, then leaned her face into him.

Sandy looked up at Neal. “She’s like this with everybody new. Once she warms up to you, though, she’s like Velcro.”

Timo used to be like that . . . he’d be, what, three or four now? Would have been, anyway. Neal pushed his hands into his pockets.

Allison peered at him though she still clung to Sandy. “Hi. I’m eight. And a half.”

“Wow. I’m almost twenty. What do you think of that?”

“Oh, that’s nothing. Uncle Sandy is thirty!”

Sandy glanced at the ceiling.

Neal laughed. “Yeah, he’s got me beat. Do you know how to play drums?”

She smiled and sat up. “Uncle’s going to teach me. He said he’d teach me when I turned eight, but I’m almost nine now.”

“Hey,” he said to Sandy, “never break a promise to a kid. Especially one you’re related to--her parents know where you live. Where’s your nephew? I expected him to be the one wanting to play.”

“He’s bonding with Brian over baseball. I guess Allison’s been talking about this a lot, but something always got in the way.”

“Well that’s a pretty shi -- flimsy excuse. If you don’t turn her into a drummer, she might latch onto keyboards, and how would that look?”

Sandy grinned. “Yeah, well, you’ve got a point.” He looked at Neal for a few seconds, then stood. “Hey, I’ve got to do something, why don’t you sit with her for a bit?”

“Me? Why? No no, she’s your niece.” Neal backed toward the door.

Allison frowned at them. “Somebody has to teach me.”

“Go on.” Sandy tossed his sticks at Neal and turned to Allison. “Hon, Neal will show you a little. I won’t be gone long.” He dashed out.

She settled herself on the throne, erased the frown, and pointed to the hi-hats. “How do those work? I couldn’t see what Uncle did to move them.”

Fixating on cymbals already; yeah, she was Sandy’s relative. Neal rubbed the back of his neck. He hadn’t even spent that much time with his own kids, how was he supposed to know what to do? He shuffled over and eased onto the other throne. “Well, there’s a pedal here, and you press it to move the cymbals.”

He demonstrated. Her eyes lit up. “Ooo! I want to do that.”

Neal let her take his seat. She clicked away then started tapping on them with the sticks.

After a couple of minutes, she didn’t show any sign of quitting. Maybe you had to be eight to get that big a kick out of just hi-hats. Or maybe being related to Sandy was enough. “Okay, you got the hang of that. Did you know that drummers move their arms and legs separately from each other?”

She beamed a smile at him. “Yeah, I watched Uncle before, and some of his friends. It looks hard.”

“It can be, when you first try it. But there’s a secret that helps. Sandy must be waiting for the right time to tell you.” She probably hadn’t seen a metronome.

Her eyes grew round. “What secret?”

“Oh, if Sandy didn’t tell you, I don’t think I should.” He sat and tapped on a floor tom gently.

She reached toward him and touched his necklace. “Pretty. Why do you wear that?”

Ah, shit. Tell the truth or take the easy way out? He put the sticks down. “It reminds me of my daughter. She’s not around anymore and sometimes I miss her. Don’t ask where she went. I won’t see her anymore, is the important part.” That was mostly true. It reminded him of all his kids, really.

Allison studied the little letter on its chain as if thinking hard about what he’d said. “I can’t tell what it is. How does it remind you of her?”

“It’s a letter I, the same letter her name started with. Isabel. But I called her Chabela most of the time.” He slipped it under his shirt. “That’s enough about that, all right?”

“I’m sorry it makes you sad.” Her face was so open and honest. Did she get that from Sandy too, or were little kids like that anyway? Probably most kids were sincere before the world fucked them up.

“Well, never mind. If you really want to learn drumming, you should ask Sandy to get you your own kit. Then you could practice anytime at home.”

Her eyes got huge again. “Ooo! But Mommy and Daddy might not like that. They say drums are loud. But I like loud.”

“I do too. That’s kind of the point of drums. I bet if you asked, they’d agree to let you have a kit.”

She scooted her throne over until it bumped up against his. She shouldered closer and grinned at him.

Damn, I think I just reached the Velcro stage.

Could we focus, please?

2010-10-30T13:59:00.003-04:00

I'm thinking about the suggestion to read over each chapter with a severely critical eye, and why that's hard. I think it comes down to the inner writer child.

We all have one. Like regular children, they think their worldview is the important one. Everything they do is worthy of attention. That's not always bad, though. I believe our inner writer children {IWC for brevity's sake} provide the sense of wonder about our projects, that feeling of wooooo, this is cool and I really wanna keep going! That's vital to help us reach toward the sky.

Taking the leash off does enable us to explore new twists on tired phrases, take plot chances that even sometimes work!, and generally learn to think outside whatever box is relevant at the moment. But that IWC runs off, refusing to come when called.

No you don't, you can't catch me! Look at these pretty rocks, we can use these. I know, I have 500 over there, but these are different.

....Ah, no, dear child, they're really not. Remember the one we saw made into a necklace? There was just one rock, and we couldn't stop looking at it. Not the chain it hung on, or the wire wrapped around it, no, we kept looking at the rock itself.

The person who made that necklace believed in her ability to create something simple yet compelling.

I won't tell this part to my IWC, but taking this advice means I'll have to inflict some bruises and cuts on the little darling. But she's tough. She falls off tightropes and gets back up. I think having a few scars will do her a world of good.

I'm stealing the "quote of the day" from CritiqueCircle.com's home page:
The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing. - Stephen Covey

First submission in writing class reviewed!

2010-10-23T10:00:00.002-04:00

I’m enrolled in the “Rock and Roll Writing” course at BasementWriting.com, with Art Edwards as instructor. Art is the former bassist for The Refreshments and has published three novels. He’s reviewed my first submission, and my biggest flaw so far seems to be repetition. I have to laugh at myself for that, because I’m quick enough to point out repeating ideas when I crit!

Writing is amazing. People who do it can be so clear-sighted half the time, and the other half, they’re rather blind.

“But saying 'fill-in-the-blank' in my story is different,” my inner child whines. “And besides, it’s not repeating, if you’d just think about the nuances of the words you’d realize that.”

Well, dear child, it’s still not necessary.

Art used this passage as an example:
- - -
Lennie dropped his pencil on the papers and raised an eyebrow at Neal. “You’re interested in that? Have you done much physical work?”

Neal waited just inside the doorway. What was he getting at? “Why? You think I can’t handle it?”

“Some of the road cases weigh a hundred pounds,” Lennie said. “They’ve got wheels but it’s not easy moving them around. You’d be hauling amps, speakers, and whatever else needs to be moved. It’s back-breaking and you can’t cut corners. Everybody’s on a tight schedule on tours so there’s no screwing around when it’s time to unload trucks. Can you manage that?”
- - -
When I wrote that, it all seemed necessary. It’s astonishing to listen to what goes on in your own head. Justifications for various bits of dialog run by, are processed and accepted, almost before I even know they happened. For me, the big justification is character voice. I leave in Neal’s thoughts because I want to get across how he thinks, as much as what. Sometimes that’s valid, but the operative word is sometimes.

In the above example, Art suggested dropping certain phrases. When I read over the new version of the passage, my instant reaction was, “But that leaves out some of the points I was trying to make!”

Well -- yeah. Because those points were made elsewhere, or they really didn’t add anything important. Oh sure, Inner Child, you’re taking the high road and claiming that Lennie was making a point about how difficult the work could be, to somebody who’s never done anything like it. But the story is primarily for the readers, and -- wait, I was going to repeat myself ;) See what you think of this version:
- - -
Lennie dropped his pencil on the papers. “You’re interested?”

Neal waited just inside the doorway. “Why? You think I can’t handle it?”

“You’d be hauling amps,” Lenny said, “speakers, whatever else needs to be moved. Some of those road cases weigh a hundred pounds. Everybody’s on a tight schedule and there’s no screwing around.”

“Show me what to do and I do it.”
- - -
This is cleaner and, I think, does in fact flow better. Art offered some other tweaks of the submission, but what I’m most excited about is that he didn’t feel the need to tell me that the piece should be completely reworked.

The other side of this coin is that I feel more confident about my decision that the early part of the story needs more conflict and/or tension. The latest versions of those chapters, as posted on Critique Circle.com {also known as CC}, have too much talking and thinking. That’s a different animal, though no less important.

My only concern is how to trim phrases without losing too much character voice. Using that same passage again, it does seem to me that cutting those phrases drops some of Lennie’s personality. A character may say something in a less than ideal way because people do sometimes use too many words, but also because that may be how the character talks.

Baaahhh, none of that applies in that example, be honest! Len said all that in the first version because I thought it was important to show what he’d say if these people were real, {did I say if?}, but you can’t do that in writing. I need to take my own advice: writing should represent reality, not try to be reality.

Point made. So, shutting up :D

My curtains are closed, but somebody can still see me

2010-10-14T13:46:00.000-04:00

A star’s just a star / Funny thing, when looking up / It seems to follow you wherever you are
“Miss Hollywood”, Carbon Leaf

The latest in the wacko series of “maybe coincidences, maybe not”:

I work in retail. My store is part of a program that encourages conservation of natural resources. What level is my store at? Silver! The store has a poster ad for Tim McGraw’s new men’s cologne. What’s it called? Silver! In spring, I went shopping for plants. I came home with a few and my eye was caught by the info tag on one of them. The variety name was “Silverstar”. What’s my band’s name? Sylvyr Star! The Chinese restaurant closest to my house: what’s the name? New Star!

Okay, that last one doesn’t seem like much, but why isn’t the place called Peking Panda or Ricehouse or something like that?

I’m willing to admit that I’m being paranoid. But maybe I’m paranoid because people are after me, so to speak. I listed other coincidences in an earlier blog post.

At first, this was funny, then it felt creepy, like some cosmic Peeping Tom watched not only what I did and where I went, but knew my thoughts. It could be the Universe encouraging me to pursue this writerly venture. That makes it easier to sleep nights.

It’s also interesting to me that on TV shows, in the newspaper, and other places I notice the name Neal, usually spelled that way like my character, not “Neil”.

Sure, I could be noticing these things because of my WIP. I think about my characters a lot, like many writers, so it’s probably natural that I notice their names out in the real world. Still, I gotta wonder why those people aren’t named something else. Don’t tell me my eyes conveniently skip over instances of “Neil”. Am I losing my mind? Heck, I think that happened years ago. I can live with it as long as I can pursue this story. I’d be interested to know how many other writers feel followed around. ;)

Note: I’ve started a 10-week online course at Basement Writing Workshop, called “Rock and Roll Writing”. The instructor is Art Edwards, who knows something about rock and writing. As we get down and dirty in the course, I’ll talk about some of the issues that come up. My first submission for the course is due Oct. 18, so wish me good luck!

hiya!

2010-10-14T13:29:00.000-04:00

Shout out to Rachel: glad you're coming along. Best of luck with your WIP. There aren't enough people writing fiction about music. Let me know if you have something else you'd like critted. :)

I'm coming out!

2010-09-29T10:51:00.002-04:00

Waaayy back when I started reading fantasy and sci fi, I’d often wonder “But what are these other characters thinking?” I don’t care that in real life, we can’t read other people’s minds. A novel is fiction, a creation, an artifice. We can present the story in a number of different ways.

To an extent, I think writing strictly in one point of view is unnatural. For a writer who knows her or his characters inside and out, you “head hop” without realizing it because that’s how you understand all the relationships.

Since nobody else thinks “head hopping” is okay, and I hope to be published someday, I’ve retrained myself to write each scene from one POV. When critting, I can spot when somebody else “head hops”.

Secretly, I don’t find it as confusing as other writers and readers seem to. Sure, if there are five or twelve characters in a scene, it could get confusing. I can’t help thinking that experienced writers may be able to pull that off too. But if it’s infrequent, why is that inherently confusing? If I say “Fred thought”, when my POV character is Alice, isn’t it that clear? If I use a beat with Fred’s name then follow it with his thought, isn’t that POV shift clear? For example:

Alice eased her long frame onto the sofa. On her bare arms, the velvet was softer than a baby’s bottom. Fred seemed to be eyeing her suspiciously. He’d hit the roof when he heard her idea, but eventually, he’d agree. Some extra cleavage and you’ll forget all about any silly objections.

“You know, Fred, my offshore account has slipped down to half a million. I happen to know the museum is shipping a Cezanne in three weeks for a temporary exhibit in Australia, and that’s plenty of opportunities for it to get lost. Get my drift?”

Fred jumped to his feet. Alice is looney tunes if she thinks I’ll agree to that. “I told you I’m out of that game.”

Okay, that was short, but I can hear the howling over the “head hopping”.

Let me be clear: I do not write that way. My WIP is in close third POV. I do switch between Neal’s and Sandy’s POVs, but in every instance, I use a scene break or a new chapter. I get that nobody else likes “head hopping”.

Maybe, though, it’s just that we’re trained to think that. Maybe our own POV is so set in one angle that anything else seems wrong. Maybe a few brave souls will start an underground movement of “multiple POV” that gets a cult following, and after a decade or two, finds its place alongside the “accepted” methods.

Or, maybe, it’ll stay a quirky underground movement with fewer fans than the mainstream but with equal passion. I’d be okay with that too. I can see us all sitting around in clandestine writer’s groups and shuttered book clubs. When company comes, we feel compelled to hide the books that might betray our secret. Maybe we’ll develop a whole separate society, with special phrases.

“Say, Ethel, I wonder if you ever thought about doing multi. Once in a while.”

“Oh my God, you do that too? I knew there was a reason we got along so good. I haven’t done it much, and I’m not sure I’m doing it right.”

“Don’t fret. Multi is forgiving. We could maybe share some, if you’re okay with that. I’ve got a series in development. I’d be happy to give you some tips.”

“Well, I’d be embarrassed to let anybody see mine just yet. Man, you’re doing a series? That takes guts.”

“I get a lot of support. There’s more of us than you might realize.” Wink-wink.

Define "normal"

2010-09-20T12:10:00.001-04:00

“The Faith of a Writer: Life, Craft, Art” by Joyce Carol Oates

According to Oates, Stanislaus Joyce (the brother of Henry) noted in his diary in 1907: “Jim says that . . . when he writes, his mind is as nearly normal as possible.”

How can one argue with that? For me, writing has turned into tunnel vision. All that extraneous stuff: having a job (a part-time, miserable job to boot), having to eat and sleep, even having conversations with my sisters, interrupts the interactions in my head. I’ve lived with these characters for over 30 years, folks. I remember coming home from an Elton John concert in the mid to late 70s, on a cool, rainy night, watching the rain blow in sheets, thinking that this was just the sort of night Lennie’s girlfriend left him. I was in my mid-teens at that point. I already knew the band members, the name of the band, where Sandy and Lennie grew up, had already written scenes involving Sandy’s girlfriend leaving him and Lennie getting mixed up with her, briefly. I am most comfortable, most at home, inside other people’s heads.

Some say being a writer is a lonely life, because in general, you have to be alone when you’re writing. I find that I’m able to focus best when there’s nobody else around in the same physical setting as me, but most of the time, I am far from alone. I don’t just mean the cats Raz and Maggie. My two main characters, Neal and Sandy, talk a lot; peripheral characters add their two cents; characters who play important parts but still only appear in my WIP for a short time have things to say; plus, since many of my characters are musicians, sometimes I hear music too -- stuff that hasn’t been recorded in this universe ;-)

Recently, when a song (complete with words and music) popped into my head in Sandy’s voice, for just a moment it was a bit weird. A disembodied voice, that I recognize? Like snowflakes I could feel but not see? Then I realized it was the same voice who sang something else back in the late 70s, and as the current song replayed over and over, I fell into it like a favorite cashmere blanket.

You writers know what I mean. I think this is why most new writers “head hop” so frequently. They’re so in tune with the characters that it’s natural to follow what other people (er, I mean characters) are thinking, all at the same time. Mixed up in that is the underlying hot desire to have other people fall just as in love with the characters as the writer is. Of course, for that to happen, readers have to know everything the characters are thinking, just like the writer.

Tune in next week when I take this further and say something guaranteed to make writers, editors, and agents spit nails at me. :D

I've written myself into a spiral!

2010-09-09T18:06:00.000-04:00

Fictional conversations can go in so many directions, like in real life. Characters’ moods sometimes determine their reactions. Now I’m revising the scene where Sandy first tells Neal he wants to start a non-profit charitable foundation, and I’ve got four or five versions of the damn scene. I do think Neal’s final decision on whether or not to help Sandy with it should not happen right away; there should be *some* tension involved. So, okay: in that case, how involved does the initial conversation need to be? I shortened and revised it -- two or three times -- and I’m still not happy. Just today, I found version four or five, and one paragraph that I think should maybe be included.

What I’d really like, is for somebody else to write this damn scene for me!! My second draft -- the first was crap, really, you know what first drafts are like -- had some good stuff, but I can’t find it. Actually there’s like two months’ worth of stuff I can’t find, but that’s another rant. Somehow in trying to make this scene have a lot of impact, but keep it short, I’ve fractured it and confused the crap out of myself.

*sigh*

I don’t normally do that. Plus, while looking through disks for those missing months of work, I’ve read through various chapters in various orders, and that doesn’t help. What happened when? Who knew what, when? Who did how, when was their motivation, would buttercups filibuster salmon steak? See what I mean?!

Actually, that might a good idea to catapult myself out of this miasma. Imagine turning your characters over to somebody who's completely unfamiliar with them, and letting them write an entire scene. You get it back. Oh, you say, Fred would never swear at Ethel, he'd probably say something like . . .

Wait, you say, Ethel couldn't drive Fred to the cliff because she never learned to drive. She might want to, but she'd just . . .

Huh. Anybody want to take a crack at my scene? ;-)

2010-08-29T11:20:00.002-04:00

Author voice vs character voice: I seem to like to start certain dialog with “So, blah blah…” It becomes a problem when I let my tendency to type that run a little wild, showing up in more than one character. It can be a speech pattern in one guy, maybe two if the writing’s good enough, but readers will quickly start seeing the author’s voice if that same pattern keeps popping up.

This post may not be as organized as others; I've got a headache this morning. A general thing I've noticed as my writing has improved: continuing to improve is getting harder. I'm more concerned about a whole lot of things that I either didn't know about before, or didn't realize were really so important. Author voice is an example. And I'm still wrangling with Neal's language; exactly which words might he use when? I have to jog my own memory to keep up with stuff happening behind the scenes. "Off camera", and mentioned briefly in the story from time to time, Neal reads a lot. I haven't specified what, though earlier chapters mentioned the L.A. Times and unnamed Spanish-language newspapers. I referred once to him getting fiction from Sam, the drum tech who gave him his first look at what roadie-ing is about.

Maybe I need to mention that more in the story, because if I forget that he's continually reading a lot of stuff that would affect his language, readers might too! There's so much to remember and check for and beware of while writing! Not only do you have to keep your characters' voices separate and unique, you have to stay grammatically correct, unless you want to draw attention to a phrase. You try to avoid stereotypes and cliches, unless you have a good reason for using that. You try to come up with unique ways of saying things, that will still make sense to most readers.

Writing seems to be something you have to balance: picture a scale like that often used to depict the zodiac sign Libra. You load "stay grammatically correct" in left-side pan, but then the right-side pan is too light. You load exceptions in the right-side, but it overbalances, so you have to take some out. On and on. I was born under Libra so maybe this should be easier than it is ;-)

With all that going on, it's easy to get overwhelmed with the details. Sometimes my brain locks up because so many options present themselves and I don't have a knowledgable person sitting right next to me who can offer advice. Then it's time to physically walk away from the laptop. Even 15 or 20 minutes helps. I like to get some cookies, or tea with honey; sometimes just go walk around outside the house. I let the words and questions finish bouncing around in my mind, let the echoes die down, and look at the paragraph again. If it's still not sorting out, then I know I have to put it away till tomorrow.

Having said that, I still love to write. That geis I mentioned before is as strong as ever. I'm so focused on my characters' world that when I hear half-sentences in conversation, it sounds like Spanish (even when it's not), and I automatically think of musical contexts for words even when people are talking about something else. I'm sure this is what some writers mean when they say they inhabit another world while working on a novel.
http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-gei1.htm

I love feeling so close to my characters that I can touch them sometimes. Hearing their unique voices -- clearly enough to glance sideways to see if, maybe, they popped into my universe -- is one thing. Seeing the stage, and the audience spread out in a hazy, smokey sea, from Sandy's viewpoint during a live show is something else. The closest I've come to being on a stage has been seeing filmed events where a few brief shots let me glimpse what performers see. I can get myself in the right frame of mind to close my eyes and flick into a moment or two of a Sylvyr Star show, right there with the drum kit spread out in front of me, the lights in my eyes, and the first few rows down in the crowd jumping, waving, and screaming like their lives depend on it ... because for that short time, it does. That's how I come alive :)

Connecting espionage, electricity, Macy's store windows, and the Beach Boys

2010-08-12T14:04:00.002-04:00

"Theremin: Ether Music and Espionage" by Albert Glinsky

This book is 342 pages, in hardcover. If you think you're going to go from Russia in 1896 to the Beach Boys' "Good Vibrations" without a lot of stuff in between, you're gonna be disappointed.

I'll be honest: I tried reading every page of this book, but about a third of the way through, I gave up. Firstly, Leon Theremin was heavily involved in industrial spying for the Soviet government during his years in America, and the details of that keep popping up between exhaustive discussions of Theremin's musical work. I didn't need an exact list of music played at every concert appearance by Theremin. Knowing how insanely complicated the man's story is without such minutiae, I would have expected Glinsky to make more of an effort to present it in a more understandable way. But maybe the editor insisted on adding stuff.

I'll go back to the book in the near future, though. I found out all kinds of really cool trivia: a few people were actively working on the concept of television in the 1880s. By 1924, Theremin's electric burglar alarms were protecting the Soviet State Bank and some American businesses. He had a metal detector in Alcatraz.

By 1927, he mused over how to combine music, touch, movement, and fragrance, anticipating virtual reality by a few generations. He'd already successfully combined his electromagnetic musical instrument (known as the theremin) with a color-wheel that projected changing hues which corresponded to pitch changes. He wowed audiences with a music and light show many decades before disco and lasers.

He used an early sort of hologram in Macy's windows, showing a mirror that people always stopped to look into. This interrupted a relay, which made an ad appear in the center while the mirror's border remained. In the '30s, this was nothing short of an actual miracle.

I didn't get to how the theremin led to the development of the Moog synthesizer, which led to electronic music as we know it. There were glimpses of how and why that happened. Leon Theremin's life seems to have been directed, in matters small and large, by the hand either of God or the devil: maybe both. At one point, he married a (mostly) African-American woman 20 years his junior. He flaunted their relationship despite how it hurt his friendships. In 1938, this was one of the biggest scandals around.

Theremin's life is worth reading about for the sheer adventure of it, but I also had to think about where American society has been over the decades. The USSR became Russia again but a lot of other things haven't changed. This well-dressed, unassuming Bolshevik, entranced by the possibilities of electricity, wound up changing our lives in real ways. I absolutely think his life would make a perfect PBS miniseries. If I had the writing chops, and the proper research contacts, I'd make one hell of a trilogy of it. I leave that to those better connected.

The Twitter Spelling Test

2010-08-08T10:48:00.001-04:00

Created by Oatmeal

. . . when I correct your spelling in a crit, I know what I'm talking about. In high school, when I had some time between classes, I read through the dictionary - no kidding. But spelling well is a learnable skill, I believe, so if you have trouble with it, take heart.

If I can learn that the correct answer to 1 + 1 is two and not eleven, you can learn proper spelling! :D

My Top Ten Demons

2010-08-06T11:40:00.001-04:00

It occurred to me, while beginning the first editing pass for one of my chapters, that I have ten words I regularly scan for because I tend to overuse them. Any group of ten words is a potential Top Ten List. When they're connected to writing, blogging about it may help somebody else, so here I go. These are mostly in order of which ones are overused most often; of course that changes somewhat from chapter to chapter.

was
were
went
look
come
came
move
would
could
should

You could legitimately ask why I include 'come' and 'came' separately. For me, those words crop up differently and I've found it's better to scan for each one. For 'look' and 'move', the past tenses are picked up by my word processor's Find feature during the same pass.

I make one Find pass for each word. For every instance of those words, I change the color. 'Was' is a dark blue, 'were' is teal, and so on. After doing a Find for each word, I can then scan the document to see how often each color shows up.

I have been quite shocked to see how much dark blue there is. My Was Demon is one I have an uneasy relationship with. You need 'was' sometimes; there's no getting around that. It's a verb, a lot of sentences need verbs, sometimes it's the one that does the job best. But wow, it is so easy to 'was' everything!

My WIP puts me in an interesting place with overused words. My character Neal started the story with minimal formal education; his English has largely been picked up from his street gang pals and others who live on the fringes of that turf. He's strong with Spanish, but it's mostly slangy and often vulgar. In order to show how his language - spoken and in thought - changes during the story, I have to use simple constructions, wrong grammar, cliches and overused words. Frankly, it's like the proverbial nails on a chalkboard, but it's also an interesting challenge.

I always smile mentally when I switch to Sandy's Point Of View, because he's well enough educated - and well enough connected - to use better English. At the point in my WIP I'm currently fighting with - er, editing, Neal's language has been changing, improving. Rather than simply making things easier for me because of that, it's harder. I have to think more than I used to about his sentences. Exactly which words should go? Would that phrase be something he'd be likely to keep using for a while? How many 'was'es and 'were'es is it logical for him to still be using?

When talking about these tribulations with my critters, I often say I walk a tightrope with Neal's language, and it's true. I fall off sometimes. I don't always land in the net and I've got some healed breaks to show for it. But I consider those trophies for having done a lot of work with words. I've got a long way to go and I'll fall off again. I'll just climb back up on my pile of overused words :)

It's now or never

2010-07-31T19:00:00.001-04:00

Sooooooo, I've been using my sister's laptop for about a year and a half. Well, using it when she's at work, anyway. Writing in the mornings while it's still quiet in the house has been when I get the most (and usually the best) work done. But I can hear the kitchen TV while I'm typing, even sometimes with headphones and the Rolling Stones in my ears.

So I took the plunge and bought my own laptop. I'm not online yet with it so I'll be using my sister's setup for that still, temporarily.

I work part-time and that laptop took a chunk out of the bank account, I'll tell you. Thought about a netbook, decided it wasn't right. I had a gradual realization of "If not now, when?"

I want to be published. I can taste it, I can see my WIP as a physical book as I write, I can even picture myself going through revisions based on an editor's suggestions. When I think about not writing anymore, my insides freeze up. My head explodes. Writing is what I do; I can't set it aside. For over a decade, one of my sisters and I shared an alien universe and wrote - in longhand - dozens of notebooks about the same group of characters. We hardly stopped to eat, sleep, feed the cats, notice if it was day or night, summer or winter. We defined being consumed.

Life intervened and I didn't write much for a number of years. Once I got back to it and hit my stride, I felt a sense of loss over the time I can't get back that was not spent writing. I also felt that I had found myself again. You writers out there, you get it. Anybody who once put down the thing that keeps them breathing and came back to it, you get it.

My Muse is fully awake. She stalks my subconscious like Zeus, ready to fling lightning bolts. I offer myself, without reservation, to be used however she chooses. It's more than a renewed commitment. It's a deep and relentless obligation.

To those who know the pain and radiance of being a writer: rock on!

Charybdis

2010-07-17T10:36:00.001-04:00

I'm working on my WIP this morning and had a fascinating moment of writing insight. I was struggling over how to have a character get something across, then I wondered if it needed to be said at all. I had this sensation of being pulled down a narrow whirlpool that cut me off from everything else. I could feel myself get sucked right into the conversation.

I realized the thought I wanted the character to explain might only be important to him and me, but that readers might not give a darn. Maybe I'd gotten so wrapped up in the conversation that I lost sight of the scene's purpose.

Thanks to my inner editor for being so clear. I wouldn't mind if she continued to be obvious with me, just maybe with another visual. I can't swim!

Life is just a classroom, always in session

2010-07-16T11:08:00.001-04:00

Writing is cool for sooo many reasons. One reason is I'm always learning stuff, whether I'm aware of it at the time or not. I've realized that I, probably like a lot of avid readers, absorb tangent info while doing research. These things pop out unexpectedly in my WIP, or a new understanding shines out while watching the evening news. I can honestly say that I'm aware of so much more about life than I was a year and a half ago.

For example, I've realized some "heavy" things.
a) People who serve you in restaurants, keep department store shelves stocked, check you out at the grocery store, empty your trash bin at the office, drive city busses: these people have names, families, lives. They’d like to be recognized as human beings. They are not our slaves, they are the same as you and me.

b) One of the frustrations of writing is hearing your characters’ voices in your head, and being limited to the page to convey them. In a movie, everybody would hear Neal’s slight accent, how he slurs some of his syllables together, and how fast he usually talks. Instead, I have to write out those missing syllables so readers can understand. Readers therefore are missing something. Grr.

c) So much is filtered through Neal’s eyes. I feel, at times, like there’s a telepathic connection that’s permanently switched on. News stories in particular piss him off because the media so often talks about bad stuff people do to each other. That immigration controversy in Arizona? oooo, I won’t get started on that. I have to sometimes actively remind myself that his opinions are not always mine. It can feel like I have two personalities!

And some fun stuff:
a) There are layers and layers of instruments and vocals in recorded music. Until I did serious reading about how music is recorded, I didn’t think a whole lot about why I liked some songs. Now I hear bass like never before, tambourines and triangles, tiny cymbal shimmers, rhythm guitars running under the melody, soft piano notes tinkling like falling icicles. I find myself pressing the headphones closer. It’s a far richer world than I realized. Adding an effect because the listener feels it more than hears it? Didn't make sense to me before, but now I get it. Music is glorious. Those who make it are gods.

b) Some stuff I used to enjoy just for the activity itself now has a strong layer of learning. Watching TV dramas: that plot twist didn’t make sense, but why not, exactly? If I wrote this episode as a novel, would I have to change this part and why? How do I get across visual cues in writing? …etc. Thing is, I love learning and I can relate so much to writing and/or music that I don’t mind losing some of the “purely for fun” aspect.

c) Having begun to re-familiarize myself with Spanish, I had a moment of amusement in the grocery store. I noticed that the Mexican beer Corona has a 6-pack of smaller bottles, which they labeled Coronita: “little Corona” is one translation. I “felt” that translation without having to think about it, the way you just understand a different word form in your native language. Granted, that’s hardly anything to brag about, but I got a kick out of the seamless understanding. [and never mind about the beer part ;-)]

It's true that you learn more if you're having fun. Liking what you're "studying" goes a long way toward true understanding of it. If only I had liked math, who knows, maybe I could've been great at it!

Character interviews available

2010-07-13T17:30:00.000-04:00

Check out my revamped character information, on the "my Work In Progress" page.

I now have excerpts from interviews with Neal and all four band members. Because Neal changes drastically over the course of the novel, I've included an update with him right after the initial interview.

The characters are always available to answer questions; just add them in a comment and I'll be sure your questions get answered. In Neal's case, be sure to specify if you're addressing him in 1989 or 1992, because you'll probably get very different answers from each year. :)

welcome!

2010-07-04T14:13:00.000-04:00

Shout out to Ryan! I'm glad to have you along. And, I'm interested to see on your blog that under "your best friend is" you list The Lord of the Rings. I've read some LOTR bashes in recent months and it's awesome to know you're a fan :)

Out, out, damn sentence!

2010-07-03T10:47:00.002-04:00

Writing. Some of us do it because we have to (I’m not the only writer to be marched to the computer by a character holding a gun to my head); some do it because it’s a fun, creative diversion; some do it because it pays the bills. We all get stuck on sentences and paragraphs. I’ve learned a few things from fighting with ideas and words.

a) Pay attention to your inner editor. I believe most, if not all, writers have one. It often starts out as a quiet voice but mine got louder the more I critiqued (or “critted”) other people’s chapters while continuing to work on my own story.

If something sounds awkward to your inner editor -- it just won’t behave by pouring itself nicely into a coherent sentence or two, or it hits some bumps as the words roll along -- there’s probably something wrong with it. Go back to it and think about it. Twist things around, look for something that flows with the rest of the paragraph. For myself, sometimes I decide that the reason I can’t seem to fix it is because it doesn’t have to be there anyway. A day or two later, I go back and read the same chapter, and I realize the rhythm is better without the troublesome phrase and I haven’t lost any important information.

Very often, the same phrases I have doubts about but leave in are the ones that my crit buddies on Critique Circle say need tweaking. They’re nice about it, but what they mean is, “Nooo, that’s like fingernails on a blackboard.” That reinforces my editing instincts. I had no idea when I started posting chapters to be critted that the process would become so central to my writing.

b) If you have a thought (sentence, phrase) that sounds great but doesn’t seem to click with the rest of the paragraph, maybe it doesn’t belong either. The parts of my WIP that other people say worked great are the ones I didn’t have to struggle to put together. I know how you feel. The words fit together like puzzle pieces and say something in a clever way, but: they don’t belong. In this instance, writing is not like gardening where you can uproot something and find another corner where it works better. I look at it this way. Every time I have to make a writing decision that I know is good for the story but is painful, it toughens my skin. I’m gonna need that the more I ask people to comment on my writing.

It’s an interesting dynamic going on in my head. I have a Movie Director who controls what I see as I write. I’ve had to admit that the Director doesn’t always know what he’s doing. It was the painful admission of a writer beginning to show her work to others. My Inner Editor, I think, argues with the Script Writer. Combine that with characters changing the plot midstream and you have an answer to why writers often seem confused and some are going bald.

A Miscellany

2010-06-29T10:18:00.001-04:00

I've added a new poem/song, "Season of Fire", to the poems/songs page. Neal wrote it and tells me he's not 100% satisfied with it, but said it's okay for me to use it here ;-) My Muse wants to work it into the novel but unless there's a really good reason to include it, it may just stay here on the blog. Neal also tells me he wants to go back to writing more often in Spanish, poems included. My Muse, however, doesn't know Spanish so I can feel mistranslations coming!

I'm a bit late with this, but I have to shout out Congrats to the Buffalo Sabres for winning hardware at the recent NHL awards in Las Vegas. Goalie god Ryan Miller won the Vezina for the league's top goaltender, and was tapped for the NHL Foundation Award for his work in the community. (Remember, he was also instrumental in the U.S. Olympic hockey team's win of the silver medal.) He's raised more than $500,000 for his charity the Steadfast Foundation, which emphasizes helping cancer patients, especially childhood forms. Thanks to the NHL for donating $25,000 to the Steadfast Foundation.

Defenseman Tyler Myers took home the Calder Trophy as Rookie of the Year. He won in a landslide, with 400 more points than the runner-up. Tyler led all rookies with 37 goal assists. He's got a solid, excitable fan group in the Buffalo area.

Other trophies and awards were given out of course, but these are the most meaningful to me. As Ryan noted, Buffalo hockey fans are rabid, and when we're happy, we scream! Best wishes for the coming season to Ryan and Tyler, standouts on a pretty cool team. :-D

By the way, Buffalo did feel Ontario's earthquake last week. It was first estimated at a 5.5 but later downgraded to a 5.0. I, alas, did not feel a thing. My sister and I were grocery shopping at the time and may have been driving when the waves actually passed through. I feel so cheated! ;-) I have felt a couple tiny quakes before, but sheesh. I live on the edge of one of the Great Lakes and I've never seen a waterspout either. The stuff I miss . . . well Murphy may be listening so I'll shut up about that.

A last note of sympathy and love to the thousands affected by the oil spill. I have a small sense of how you're hurting and my heart bleeds for you. I'm so sorry that money became more important than your livelihoods. And to the people of Haiti, still in pieces after the monster quake and living in terror of the current hurricane season, how I wish I could scoop you all up and put you gently into real homes in a good community. May the Universe soon ease the suffering of all these people, and animals who have no way to speak for themselves.

New pages

2010-06-21T18:16:00.002-04:00

I've added a new page for poems, or as I sometimes think of them, failed songs. ;) I like to keep my Muse fresh by daring her to do poetry in and around working on my novel-in-progress (Street Glass). Poems and songs usually need to get ideas across with a minimum number of words, and learning how to compress my meaning is useful for fiction writing. And, it's just fun. My poetry would probably make English lit majors cringe, as much for format as anything else. I've never "studied poetry" so don't expect anything formal.

The first entry, "Three Words", doesn't have an especially positive mood but I like certain aspects of it. I'll include new entries intermittently. Some of them may wind up in Street Glass, probably in altered forms, but mainly the entries are just exercises. I'm debating the wisdom of posting a poem here that I intend to include in my novel. We'll see.

And because I've finally realized that people may visit my blog who are not members of Critique Circle, I'm going to include a page explaining Street Glass: what the basic premise is, who the major characters are, stuff like that. If I could draw, I'd include drawings of the players too. Like many writers I suspect, I can see some of my characters crystal-clear in my head. I wish I knew a police artist, I bet they could help me with pictures of these people.

My part-time Census job is finally over! Woo-hoo! More time to write!!

The mystery of creating

2010-06-16T11:10:00.001-04:00

So I’ve written that scene where Neal gets the bad news about the kids and women. It needs tinkering but of course it’s only a first draft. Writing is funny, has anybody noticed that?

As I wrote, Neal made an offhand comment -- that maybe Sandy would write a song about the tragedy and thereby keep alive the memory of the murdered people -- that my Muse threw into her Magickal Crockpot. It simmered for two or three weeks, then boiled over one night as I was trying to stay asleep. Funny how the Crockpot tends to boil over nights when I have an early shift at work the next day. These two lines floated to the top and would not go away. I saw that dawn was seeping across the sky. Two more lines floated up. They seemed to click right together with the first two, rhyming and fitting with a rhythm. As most writers know, once that happens, you are doomed. You can’t ignore the Muse’s clicking, even if you want to. (Although, really, what writer wants to?)

Worse, I began to hear the lines sung. I heard a chorus; it was just a couple short lines with the first one repeated at the end. The weird thing is that it was Sandy’s voice. There is no way I could confuse it with anybody else’s voice, no real performer. As I wrote the words, the voice got stronger. I didn’t get a whole song, just a couple verses and that chorus, but it sounded like somebody was singing in my ear. It was the most obvious thing in the world to hear that tune with those words. Of course it flowed this way, that was its natural pattern.

This happened once before, in grade school. And, now that I think about it, that was also one of Sandy’s songs. That one I got in one piece, verses, chorus, complete melody, voice in my head. I wrote the lyrics down but time was cruel and saw to it that I lost the paper. I still remember the chorus though. Because I never learned anything about songwriting (like how to write music) I can’t write the melody for either of these songs. That’s my greatest frustration. I suppose I could make a simple vocal recording of the more recent song, “Flood of Tears”, but I’ve never had voice training either and I’m sure that not even my car likes to hear me sing.

Oh and the singing is accompanied by solo piano too. The tune wanders a bit between verses but not too far, like somebody improvising and not straying much from the basic melody. It’s all in my head. I can only get the words out on paper but of course the melody is perhaps more than half of what makes a song. Ah, to be a full-fledged songwriter, capable of getting all the details out there.

I tell myself that despite my shortcoming with songwriting, I still am blessed by my Muse. Not everybody has a Muse or is able to translate what that Muse is trying to say. It’s a wonderful thing to see people who don’t exist, hear conversations that never happened, see how made-up events fit together like a picture made of falling dominoes, get a sense of what makes people tick as you explore the interactions of people you can never physically touch. I used to write sci fi/fantasy and even aliens will help you understand humans. I wonder if a lot of psychologists write fiction.

Here’s to my Muse, whose name, by the way, is Sarah. Don’t let her commonplace name fool you. After all no one can write off a Muse.

Blinking into that other world

2010-05-26T16:47:00.000-04:00

I forget where I was this morning, but I was waiting for something and looked idly out the window. I saw a freight truck with “Panther” emblazoned across the side. Oh, thought I, that might make a great name for a music label, or maybe a tour promoter group, or maybe an album/CD. I’ve always been intrigued by words, as I suppose many writers are. Since I’ve thrown myself heedlessly into my novel, though, I seem to have gotten swallowed by words.

It’s the whole story immersion thing. I’m always -- and I mean always -- thinking about my characters and the story, often unconsciously. Bits of otherwise nonexistent scenes pop into my head while I’m at work or tooling down the road, sometimes with such startling clarity that I catch my breath. Recently something got me thinking about where it would be best to end the story; I had one end point in mind but have begun to think I might need to extend it to wrap up properly.

Abruptly I dropped into the middle of a conversation Neal was having with a woman, whose daughter may or may not be his. I can see Neal as clearly as I see this laptop. I’ve known about the woman (Maria) and the girl for some months now but this scene was unexpected. She said something about her boyfriend possibly abusing the little girl. Her boyfriend came into the room and Neal rounded on him, stalking right up to the guy’s face.

“You touched that little girl? You put a hand on her? What did you do to her?”

Understand that this scene happens some four years after the novel starts. Neal’s been through a lot of ups and downs in those years and has put the loss of his four kids mostly behind him. This has brought everything back. His friends mean the world to him but blood family has always been the most special. Watching his friends with their own families makes the loss of his own that much harder. In one short span of time, he meets a man who says he’s Neal’s biological father (who is obviously a miserable excuse for a human being) and a teenager who says he’s Neal’s half-brother. Now he might have a daughter. To say he feels protective and possessive is the understatement of the decade.

“You again?” Jorge stood at least two inches taller and stared evenly at Neal.

“I said, what did you do to her?”

Jorge’s dark eyes dared him to do something. “What’s it to you?”

That sounded like an admission. His fist connected with Jorge’s jaw and sent him sprawling to the floor.

“Stop it,” Maria shouted.

In case she was planning on pulling Neal away, he threw himself at Jorge.

-- It fades here. This is what keeps me writing, it’s my drug rush; those half-scenes where “people” are really alive can make everything else completely disappear.

Several years ago, I indulged in some fan fiction online. The woman who gave me the most encouragement said, “If you see it, write it.” That’s got to be some of the best writing advice ever given. I haven’t finished the scene where Neal finds out his older kids have been murdered, but it’s never good to keep a muse waiting.

Live and let die

2010-05-02T13:32:00.000-04:00

So I have to write a scene that wasn’t in previous versions of my Work In Progress. By leaving his life in the streets, Neal made a conscious decision to break contact with the women he sometimes slept with and who gave birth to his kids. He didn’t feel a strong enough attachment to them to override his need to change his life.

Now, please don’t write him off as an insensitive bastard. He happens to be a bastard but that’s a different issue ;-) I’m talking about life with a street gang. Shoot or be shot kind of thing. I’ve done reading on the subject, and it seems to be true that these guys think of women as property more than life partners. If I’m substantially wrong, I hope somebody will correct me and provide proof.

Anyway. His ex-gang tries to off him, the attempt fails. He finds out that, against his expectations, they’ve gone after his kids and their mothers. This is one of the many lessons Neal’s taught me: just because you live in the streets, does not automatically mean you are a waste of humanity. Realizing that *his family* got blown away because of him, and that those kids will never grow up, hits him the way it would hit anybody. In basic terms, he took the women and the kids for granted and now realizes what he’s lost.

But this will be the first time I write the scene where he gets the news. In order for it to be realistic, I have to feel his pain as much as he does. I did write another scene, set a couple years past this point, where Neal’s girlfriend dies in a house fire. He knows she's upstairs and his friends stop him from looking for her because the top floor is on fire. I listen to rock music while I write and Fleetwood Mac’s “Sara” was on as I wrote that. I had to stop several times and let the velvety music soothe me. It got worse: the computer ate my first draft. Since I use my sister’s computer and she takes control of “Stanley” in the evenings, I got out my notebook and my pen and geared up to write the whole scene a second time.

The song stayed in my head and helped me recreate the mood, but wow, that was not fun. And it’s still in first draft form. Now I get to describe what it’s like to find out your little kids and their mothers have been blown away because you crossed a line. Neal’s not a normal sort of guy, otherwise I’d have a boring story. His mother ran off when he was ten and his father (his mother’s husband, anyway) died before that. He has vague memories of other kids who might have been siblings, but he suspects other relatives removed them. He’s used to not having blood family. The gang took over where relatives left off. While that gave him a sense of loyalty, it also taught him to take what he wanted and keep other people at arm’s length. Plus, at this point in the story, he’s only 18.

So, he realizes the kids are gone forever and he’s lost the only blood relatives he had. He has a new life now but no roots. He left the gang, turned his back on them, so he knew he could never go back. Wiping out the kids, though, is a viciousness he didn’t expect. It’s personal now.

If future blogs are written in a weepy voice, have some sympathy for both of us. Every time I edit, the poor characters experience it all over again, just like me. Putting him through the loss of his kids once may make both of us cry, but of course I’ve got to tweak it and twist it and go over it until it’s right.

How do you deal with writing painful scenes? Is this how the stereotype of the drunken writer got started? Talk to me about writing sorrow and what it does to you.

RUE (it's not about regret)

2010-04-24T09:42:00.002-04:00

You guys watch any of the CSI shows? Is it me or do they seem not quite as riveting as they used to be? Is anybody else driven up the wall by the way CSI: Miami films scenes with bits of the set floating across the camera? It's like that fly that won't stop buzzing around in front of my face.

Well that's not what I'm focusing on today. Irritating visuals are one thing but do annoying dialogue or narrative things and I'm gonna seriously complain. In a recent episode of CSI: NY, Hawkes was caught in a prison riot. He and a prisoner who's trying to help him found themselves locked together in a cell. Hawkes realized he had a device that used a battery containing acid. If they can get the acid out, there might be enough of it to loosen one of the bars on the door.

Okay, got that? I did too. But Hawkes went on to explain in detail how and why the acid would work, and I mentally tuned out. The guy doesn't care, I wanted to say. All he wants to know is, do you have a plan that might get us out of this cell? Yeah? Then let's do it. I know, I know, they did that to explain to the viewers. Thing is, I don't care either. Not about that kind of detail. You got an idea that could get you guys out of the cell? Oh, it involves acid eating metal - cool. Next action please.

This is a classic example of the need for RUE, resisting the urge to explain. Maybe in writing for TV you can get away with things that novel readers wouldn't fall for, but really. There is a time and place for explanation and to me, that was glaringly not it. I already knew that acid eats through things, I didn't need a primer on it. I bet most people know that. That moment threw me right out of the story.

That's an obvious example. In writing our novels, it's easy to get caught up in what we know about the characters and the plot. We have all kinds of backstory and maybe sidestory too. We plant bits of foreshadowing and bits of character exposition. We plant bits of subplots. We try to create tension and sympathy. That's a lot for readers to keep a handle on. With all the bits floating around, they might not catch on that a certain bit is the crux of the scene.

Well, then cut out the stuff that hides that fact. Crit groups are excellent for help with this. I read time and time again that nowadays, writers and their work do not get the kind of personal attention they used to. Sure, once a work is accepted, an editor is assigned. But getting it accepted is hard, and I may be understating that. Your chances of standing out in a good way from the slush pile are improved if your writing is as tight and gripping as you can make it.

I don't want my readers distracted by a buzzing fly. I do have a couple characters caught in the 1992 Rodney King riot in Los Angeles and one of them is thrown into a holding cell. Unfortunately for him, there's no clever escape, but that's good for the story. By that time, I expect readers to understand why the situation is especially brutal for him and why it twists his mind. When I get to editing the scenes prior to posting on my online crit site, I'm not going to waste sentences by spelling out things I went into earlier in the story.

And TV in 3-D can wait till CSI: Miami stops putting "flies" in front of stuff ;-)

An aside: I've added "spun" to my list of overused words. As I crit, I get downright dizzy from so many characters spinning to look at or talk to somebody. Sometimes, "he turned" works just fine. What the character says or sees is the important part, keep the focus on that. If you find yourself using "turned" often, maybe the character is moving too much.

Sound wave

2010-04-24T09:29:00.001-04:00

Shout out to my new follower - hi Mary! It's awesome to have you. I'm up to seven people now, woo hoo!

. . . well we all have to start somewhere.

I'll have to come up with a virtual prize for the tenth person. ;-)